today
i'll be moving soon. still looking for a place, but i cant live in my apt much longer. there is so much stagnent negetive energy there i cant possibley hope to get rid of it all. I STILL havent had a chance to sit down and talk to mel. shit keeps coming up. never have time to talk while shes home because its always too late at night. i had a bit of a panic attack yesterday. i was thinking about things in my life, and i got scared to death. i went into the bathroom so that i could ground myself and went back to work. i want to run away. im going through shit right now. bad shit. i want to find a hole to crawl into and hide. i ate some shrooms yesterday and went to bloomer park. took zack and ginger to the river and let them chill while i tried to gather my head. i had a thought while tripping, like i usually do. i need to go to tennessee next weekend. im going to get ahold of my uncle and take a bus to go visit him. its bee about 5 years since i saw him. hes got his porno stores and his farm down there so hes doing pretty well. i hear from one of our old fishing buddies that tim has killer fishing on his lake. so im going. ive decided. i need to get away from everyone. my uncle knows nothing of my life. and thats good because he wont ask questions. i really want my life to be fixed. but i need help. and the people that are able to help me arent. and their inaction kills me on a daily basis. so ill be gone. i think everyone will get along without me for a weekend. Father eagle has to tend to his soul. but he will always be there for his flock wheen they need him. son of wind, storm child, all of my flock. i leave a peice of me everywhere i go so if im missed, you can find me at any time of day. i'll be making a huge decision while in tennesse, the fork in the road is clear. im in the middle of the path. left or right. i dont know yet. im waiting for something to pull me to one side. any number of things can, so we'll see which one chooses to before the chances passes them by. well, got to go. father eagle will always love his flock.
-Be Excelent-
-Be Excelent-