...family...
...can't live with them. can't kill them...legally. Read more after the cut [woot-woot! I did a cut!]
Saw "Kingdom" over the weekend with Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner. It wasn't terrible. Out of a possible 5*s...I give it ***1/2. Jamie was good [per usual], and Garner wasn't terrible [which was surprising.] I am not a fan of her, but she wasn't terrible in this. Peter Berg directed and [per usual] it was an excellent work of cinematography. It was visually engaging, though too much use of the hand-held, in some scenes, made the footage "jumpy" and hard to follow. But, if you're looking for an exciting action-packed drama with an edge...check it out. It wasn't terrible! *grin*
Also...going to see FF#4 this weekend. So ridickly excited about that, I could spit. Other than that...
I just got back from the weekend from hell. I went to visit my dad and stepmom, who I have been off-and-on estranged from for years. Right before I agree to go back into the depths of hell [i.e. going to see their crazy-asses] I always forget why I don't want to see them. Then I see them and remember, in brilliant technicolor, why we don't get along.
...Oh, yeah! That's right! You're insane alcoholic bigots! Oh-kay! Now, I remember. Ok, sooo...when can I leave again?...
You know it's bad when you wish you were related to the Winchesters, instead of your own family!
For example: in a drunken, slobbering, crying rant my stepmom revealed to me that she believes she has colon cancer and is going to die, but refuses to go see a doctor. On the way to their house my dad confessed that he's convinced that something is "really wrong with her" and wanted me to convince her to go to the doctor. It's like...I haven't seen ya'll in 3 years...and part of the trip is supposed to be spent being a health counselor to a woman who is insane?! Really?!
Another example: My 62 year old caucasian father from the South dropped the "n" bomb in conversation, in jest. [Meanwhile, my mom, whom he was married to for over 15 years is black... o.O] And, when I was appropriately outraged, his response: "I knew that one would get you going! HA! HA! HA!"...This was, of course, after my stepmom called the former governor an anti-gay slur and went off about "all the foreigners" and how "they're ruining this country and this economy." These are tried and true Democrats. I can't imagine what Repubs say behind closed doors!
And that was day ONE and the TIP OF THE ICEBERG!!!...ugh.
In the larger scheme of things, it could have been way, way worse. It could have been beyond more terrible than it was...I mean he could have hit me; she could have tried to drive while drunk or called me a no good slut and a whore; they could have both sat me down and told me in no uncertain terms that they know that I'm gay and I need to stop it before I die and burn in hell for all eternity...that didn't happen. So...bully for me, right?!
But, at the end of the day...or weekend, I should say...I just feel so disappointed. In myself. I know better. I should stop putting myself through this...but I can't help it. I want to have those hallmark moments. I want to connect. I want to have a "real Dad." But...I just need to give up and stop pretending like him and that woman are ever going to change and be the kind of decent human beings that I can look up to and be proud of as my family. But there's been too much history, pain, misunderstandings, and grief on both sides to change what is.
I just need to stop putting myself through this, and stop tearing myself up inside for putting myself through this.
*not happy.*
Saw "Kingdom" over the weekend with Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner. It wasn't terrible. Out of a possible 5*s...I give it ***1/2. Jamie was good [per usual], and Garner wasn't terrible [which was surprising.] I am not a fan of her, but she wasn't terrible in this. Peter Berg directed and [per usual] it was an excellent work of cinematography. It was visually engaging, though too much use of the hand-held, in some scenes, made the footage "jumpy" and hard to follow. But, if you're looking for an exciting action-packed drama with an edge...check it out. It wasn't terrible! *grin*
Also...going to see FF#4 this weekend. So ridickly excited about that, I could spit. Other than that...
I just got back from the weekend from hell. I went to visit my dad and stepmom, who I have been off-and-on estranged from for years. Right before I agree to go back into the depths of hell [i.e. going to see their crazy-asses] I always forget why I don't want to see them. Then I see them and remember, in brilliant technicolor, why we don't get along.
...Oh, yeah! That's right! You're insane alcoholic bigots! Oh-kay! Now, I remember. Ok, sooo...when can I leave again?...
You know it's bad when you wish you were related to the Winchesters, instead of your own family!
For example: in a drunken, slobbering, crying rant my stepmom revealed to me that she believes she has colon cancer and is going to die, but refuses to go see a doctor. On the way to their house my dad confessed that he's convinced that something is "really wrong with her" and wanted me to convince her to go to the doctor. It's like...I haven't seen ya'll in 3 years...and part of the trip is supposed to be spent being a health counselor to a woman who is insane?! Really?!
Another example: My 62 year old caucasian father from the South dropped the "n" bomb in conversation, in jest. [Meanwhile, my mom, whom he was married to for over 15 years is black... o.O] And, when I was appropriately outraged, his response: "I knew that one would get you going! HA! HA! HA!"...This was, of course, after my stepmom called the former governor an anti-gay slur and went off about "all the foreigners" and how "they're ruining this country and this economy." These are tried and true Democrats. I can't imagine what Repubs say behind closed doors!
And that was day ONE and the TIP OF THE ICEBERG!!!...ugh.
In the larger scheme of things, it could have been way, way worse. It could have been beyond more terrible than it was...I mean he could have hit me; she could have tried to drive while drunk or called me a no good slut and a whore; they could have both sat me down and told me in no uncertain terms that they know that I'm gay and I need to stop it before I die and burn in hell for all eternity...that didn't happen. So...bully for me, right?!
But, at the end of the day...or weekend, I should say...I just feel so disappointed. In myself. I know better. I should stop putting myself through this...but I can't help it. I want to have those hallmark moments. I want to connect. I want to have a "real Dad." But...I just need to give up and stop pretending like him and that woman are ever going to change and be the kind of decent human beings that I can look up to and be proud of as my family. But there's been too much history, pain, misunderstandings, and grief on both sides to change what is.
I just need to stop putting myself through this, and stop tearing myself up inside for putting myself through this.
*not happy.*