'That rug really tied the room together...'
It's an odd time at the moment. I'll be writing about the main events here, I guess, but I've been spending a lot of time at home doing a whole lot of nothing, as I'm on sick leave and feeling quite tired and fed up.
Thursday's doctor's appointment didn't go too badly. I more or less just explained how sleepy I've been over the past couple weeks and he agreed to change my medication over from mirtazapine to citalopram. He thought that it should start to work relatively quickly as I've already had mirtazapine in my system for a couple weeks, but... We'll see. So far all I've noticed since changing over is an increase in anxiety, insomnia, muscle tension, headaches and chattering teeth.
Anyway... That day, I made myself a lunch of toasted bagels topped with a tuna/bean salad and melted cheese. I don't ordinarily branch out far beyond ham sandwiches for lunch so it was nice to do something a little different. I should try that more often. Allie was surprised by me, to say the least. :o)
In the evening Allie and I went over to Bill's and had dinner with him and one of his other friends at the Stingray Cafe to celebrate Bill's birthday. He treated (very kind!) and I had their house specialty, a salmon and avocado pizza. Mmmm... Afterward we popped up to the Pineapple for a chat. I had an interesting pint of something called Daleside Autumn Leaves which, at 3.4%, was a lovely mild ale and just right for the weather.
Friday was the autumn start of Open House and there was a good turnout which made it fun. I'm often a little worn out and ready for a rest by the time the break comes in summer, but it's always nice to get things started back up again and see all the old familiar faces.
Allie was working on Saturday and for me the day didn't amount to much apart from watching endless episodes of Star Trek. I'm spending a lot of time on the sofa lately. In the evening when Bill came over and we had chips for dinner and watched the ever funny Big Lebowski. Sunday was me staying in bed for most of the day listening to radio plays for most of the day and more television in the evening with Allie and I finishing off The Waltons.
Allie and I watched October Sky on Monday night. I'd seen it a few years ago and had been meaning to revisit it and now seemed as good a time as any. I can't say it helped much with the feelings of failure I've had lately, but it was good to watch something inspirational. I also watched a good chunk of a Sapphire & Steel boxed set that Bill loaned me a while back that day. I've enjoyed what I've seen of it so far, but it's certainly not very happy stuff. :o)
I went to the doctor on Tuesday. I talked to her about the side-effects I've been having from the citalopram and about how things are going in general with my anxiety. As a result she's signed me off work for a couple more weeks until the new pills have had a little more time and so I can continue to rest. I'd hoped to have a had a little more result by now, but I know these things take time and that I need to be patient.
And today... Today I went in to my GP surgery for a counselling session. I've not had one of those since I was a teenager and never thought much of them then, but I'm getting desperate and when my GP suggested counselling I jumped at it. I think I really need somebody impartial that will just listen and let me vent a bit and I don't really have any friends here that I can sit down and do that with. The counsellor seemed very good and brought up a few interesting points in the time that we were together. Chief among these was that I've never really learned how to deal with anger and frustration. I try to ignore it and push it down and hope that it'll go away, but it never really does. And the result - combined with being tired and all of the other stuff going on - is that it makes me very moody. For the most part I've just lived with it, but with all the trouble this year it's just made things worse. So I suppose I need to find some sort of outlet. Hmm... I still have another five sessions with her and I'm kinda looking forward to it now. I think I've needed to talk a few things out for a very long time.
This evening, we went to the pub. Allie's trying to get me out of the house more, so we met Bill and Nat for a bit of food to celebrate my upcoming birthday. Bill gave me books - three Charles Stross novels - and an old Indiana Jones comic and I got to try a Titanic brewery ale (Triple Screw) that I hadn't had before. We had a good evening, though Allie and Bill are trying to compile a list of the worst films (in their opinions) that they've ever inflicted on each other. It seems that the matter at stake is a viewing of Dirty Dancing...
Thursday's doctor's appointment didn't go too badly. I more or less just explained how sleepy I've been over the past couple weeks and he agreed to change my medication over from mirtazapine to citalopram. He thought that it should start to work relatively quickly as I've already had mirtazapine in my system for a couple weeks, but... We'll see. So far all I've noticed since changing over is an increase in anxiety, insomnia, muscle tension, headaches and chattering teeth.
Anyway... That day, I made myself a lunch of toasted bagels topped with a tuna/bean salad and melted cheese. I don't ordinarily branch out far beyond ham sandwiches for lunch so it was nice to do something a little different. I should try that more often. Allie was surprised by me, to say the least. :o)
In the evening Allie and I went over to Bill's and had dinner with him and one of his other friends at the Stingray Cafe to celebrate Bill's birthday. He treated (very kind!) and I had their house specialty, a salmon and avocado pizza. Mmmm... Afterward we popped up to the Pineapple for a chat. I had an interesting pint of something called Daleside Autumn Leaves which, at 3.4%, was a lovely mild ale and just right for the weather.
Friday was the autumn start of Open House and there was a good turnout which made it fun. I'm often a little worn out and ready for a rest by the time the break comes in summer, but it's always nice to get things started back up again and see all the old familiar faces.
Allie was working on Saturday and for me the day didn't amount to much apart from watching endless episodes of Star Trek. I'm spending a lot of time on the sofa lately. In the evening when Bill came over and we had chips for dinner and watched the ever funny Big Lebowski. Sunday was me staying in bed for most of the day listening to radio plays for most of the day and more television in the evening with Allie and I finishing off The Waltons.
Allie and I watched October Sky on Monday night. I'd seen it a few years ago and had been meaning to revisit it and now seemed as good a time as any. I can't say it helped much with the feelings of failure I've had lately, but it was good to watch something inspirational. I also watched a good chunk of a Sapphire & Steel boxed set that Bill loaned me a while back that day. I've enjoyed what I've seen of it so far, but it's certainly not very happy stuff. :o)
I went to the doctor on Tuesday. I talked to her about the side-effects I've been having from the citalopram and about how things are going in general with my anxiety. As a result she's signed me off work for a couple more weeks until the new pills have had a little more time and so I can continue to rest. I'd hoped to have a had a little more result by now, but I know these things take time and that I need to be patient.
And today... Today I went in to my GP surgery for a counselling session. I've not had one of those since I was a teenager and never thought much of them then, but I'm getting desperate and when my GP suggested counselling I jumped at it. I think I really need somebody impartial that will just listen and let me vent a bit and I don't really have any friends here that I can sit down and do that with. The counsellor seemed very good and brought up a few interesting points in the time that we were together. Chief among these was that I've never really learned how to deal with anger and frustration. I try to ignore it and push it down and hope that it'll go away, but it never really does. And the result - combined with being tired and all of the other stuff going on - is that it makes me very moody. For the most part I've just lived with it, but with all the trouble this year it's just made things worse. So I suppose I need to find some sort of outlet. Hmm... I still have another five sessions with her and I'm kinda looking forward to it now. I think I've needed to talk a few things out for a very long time.
This evening, we went to the pub. Allie's trying to get me out of the house more, so we met Bill and Nat for a bit of food to celebrate my upcoming birthday. Bill gave me books - three Charles Stross novels - and an old Indiana Jones comic and I got to try a Titanic brewery ale (Triple Screw) that I hadn't had before. We had a good evening, though Allie and Bill are trying to compile a list of the worst films (in their opinions) that they've ever inflicted on each other. It seems that the matter at stake is a viewing of Dirty Dancing...