BURST
I know he doesn't know it at all but he changed the way I think about things. I am crazy and it can be difficult to handle. 
My daddy told me today that I'm to smart for Monett. I wasn't meant to be stuck here in such a small close minded place. The thing is I don't feel trapped by here but I know that I am.
It feels like I'm about to burst sometimes even physically. I know it's in my head but I can feel it. I don't feel trapped by this place or by any place. It's life itself. This world containing me in things I can't explain.
It's like that switchfoot song.
"We were meant to live for so much more but we lost ourselves."
I feel like a contridiction because I am happy, don't get me wrong. But it's just so much much much more than that. I lose that happiness in my confusion. It's an endless search for answers that nobody even understands the question too.
I wish I could understand more. It's all so complicated. Why do other people get to go through life accepting it. Not even considering the possiblities.
I find people that vaguely understand or just help me deal with not being able to understand and then they're pushed away by my insanity.
It's like I'm outside my body. Watching myself do everything wrong that could ruin it. I push on even though it's obvious that it's ruining everthing. One of these days I'm going to BURST.
I think it's best described by Jack Kerouac
"...And I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing , but burn, Burn, BURN like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'Awwww' "
My daddy told me today that I'm to smart for Monett. I wasn't meant to be stuck here in such a small close minded place. The thing is I don't feel trapped by here but I know that I am.
It feels like I'm about to burst sometimes even physically. I know it's in my head but I can feel it. I don't feel trapped by this place or by any place. It's life itself. This world containing me in things I can't explain.
It's like that switchfoot song.
"We were meant to live for so much more but we lost ourselves."
I feel like a contridiction because I am happy, don't get me wrong. But it's just so much much much more than that. I lose that happiness in my confusion. It's an endless search for answers that nobody even understands the question too.
I wish I could understand more. It's all so complicated. Why do other people get to go through life accepting it. Not even considering the possiblities.
I find people that vaguely understand or just help me deal with not being able to understand and then they're pushed away by my insanity.
It's like I'm outside my body. Watching myself do everything wrong that could ruin it. I push on even though it's obvious that it's ruining everthing. One of these days I'm going to BURST.
I think it's best described by Jack Kerouac
"...And I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing , but burn, Burn, BURN like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes 'Awwww' "