(no subject)
It's been over six months since I left him! While I am excited at how quickly this time has flown by it still doesn't mean that it was easy or will be easy. I still feel the exact same way I did when I left that I made the right decision. I have never once doubted my choice to leave. But that doesn't stop me from missing him so much.
What I miss most is him being my best friend. We had so much fun together just being goofy. So much of our relationship wasn't a "relationship" but a companionship. We would get on these kicks researching different types of dogs of the top 5 of different things. Sometimes it was spy movies or gangster movies.
The best thing we did was reading to each other. He would always give away the ending because he had read most of them. It was so goofy and funny.
What we wanted and what we expected out of a relationship was totally off base of each other. So no about of laughter and fun times together could counter act the tears that came from the fights. Or the fact that I wasn't getting to do everything I wanted and deserved.
I wish so badly he was the person I wanted him to be. The person he was in my head. All those wonderful qualities with the bad ones eliminated.
Someday I will find a boy that will rival the way he made me feel (the good times). I can't wait for that day to come. I still wake up thinking of him and have those moments when I realize we're never going to sit on his bed and laugh ourselves to tears again. Or play a one-on-one basketball tournament where I cheat.
What keeps me going is that I know that someday someone will make even better memories with me that will put these ones far in the past. I can't wait until then.