resurrection
I'm not sure what is prompting my return to this journal, but I have the sudden urge to post despite (or maybe because of) the fact that I'm pretty sure no one reads it.
I made my last post nearly a year ago and quite a bit has changed. I've graduated university with a Sociology and Women's Studies degree and now I'm trying (and failing) to work full time. I gave my two weeks notice at the shelter yesterday because I've decided I can't handle working full time nights anymore. I miss seeing family and friends; I miss having a social life. And I really miss having energy/the ability to take care of myself, and to not be a stress case all the time. So as of June 12 I will be out of a job, and despite the oppressive thought of monthly student loan payments bearing down on me, I couldn't be happier with my decision. Jobs and money will fall into place - I'm tired of wasting mind space worrying about them.
In recent months I've finally come to a place where I am 100% comfortable with my sexual orientation (a term I find annoyingly clinical-sounding). I have known for years that I'm not quite straight, but I've finally accepted that I don't fall into a neat little category. Since breaking up with Anan (which was hard, but one of the best decisions I've ever made), I have regained the self-esteem he eroded away through our relationship. The breakup, coupled with my own self-acceptance, have brought me to a place where I am completely happy with who I am.
In light of this, I am now dating a wonderful woman who I am completely, madly in love with. It's the most fulfilling relationship I've ever been in, and it's not combative or anxiety-inducing. She has taught me so much, not least of which that 1) a loving relationship can be easy, and that 2) it's possible for someone to love me exactly as I am. I am so lucky to have found her, and I hope through my actions and little gestures I make her feel the same way.
Soon, I hope to be living and working in Toronto so I can finally get out of the 'burbs. I miss having my own space, living in a walkable community, going to the farmer's market, etc. I'm very ready to get all that going, to get life going. I'm stagnating a bit right now and, although I know "good things come to those who wait," or whatever, I find my patience is wearing thin. It's just because I'm really excited about the possibilities for the future, and I can't wait to get started.
I made my last post nearly a year ago and quite a bit has changed. I've graduated university with a Sociology and Women's Studies degree and now I'm trying (and failing) to work full time. I gave my two weeks notice at the shelter yesterday because I've decided I can't handle working full time nights anymore. I miss seeing family and friends; I miss having a social life. And I really miss having energy/the ability to take care of myself, and to not be a stress case all the time. So as of June 12 I will be out of a job, and despite the oppressive thought of monthly student loan payments bearing down on me, I couldn't be happier with my decision. Jobs and money will fall into place - I'm tired of wasting mind space worrying about them.
In recent months I've finally come to a place where I am 100% comfortable with my sexual orientation (a term I find annoyingly clinical-sounding). I have known for years that I'm not quite straight, but I've finally accepted that I don't fall into a neat little category. Since breaking up with Anan (which was hard, but one of the best decisions I've ever made), I have regained the self-esteem he eroded away through our relationship. The breakup, coupled with my own self-acceptance, have brought me to a place where I am completely happy with who I am.
In light of this, I am now dating a wonderful woman who I am completely, madly in love with. It's the most fulfilling relationship I've ever been in, and it's not combative or anxiety-inducing. She has taught me so much, not least of which that 1) a loving relationship can be easy, and that 2) it's possible for someone to love me exactly as I am. I am so lucky to have found her, and I hope through my actions and little gestures I make her feel the same way.
Soon, I hope to be living and working in Toronto so I can finally get out of the 'burbs. I miss having my own space, living in a walkable community, going to the farmer's market, etc. I'm very ready to get all that going, to get life going. I'm stagnating a bit right now and, although I know "good things come to those who wait," or whatever, I find my patience is wearing thin. It's just because I'm really excited about the possibilities for the future, and I can't wait to get started.