(no subject)
~The split in America, rather than simply economic, is between those who embrace reason, who function in the real world of cause and effect, and those who, numbed by isolation and despair, now seek meaning in a mythical world of intuition, a world that is no longer reality based, a world of magic....What is happening in America is revolutionary. A group of religious utopians, with the sympathy and support of tens of millions of Americans, are slowly dismantling democratic institutions to establish a religious tyranny, the springboard to an American fascism.~
My mind seeks answers to the painful memories of my past. This is only human and an important part of growing up. I, seek knowledge through learning...books, etc. An important part of my learning process has been through the reading of the book American Fascists by Chris Hedges. This book discusses the Christian Right and the war on America. Through this book I have found many of the answers to why my mother is the way that she is. Through this knowledge I have found a sense of peace but also a renewed since of anger. How's that for a new mess. Anger at radical relgious who infect our loved ones with poison.
Allow me to humor myself with this one memory...
I am 14 years old. At this point in my life I am completely out of control. God only knows what thoughts and fears and sorrows my parents, especially my mother, went through. Getting to the point, I am fourteen and wearing a shirt that my father bought me. It is a shirt that I wanted and he bought. He didnt see the garment on me, but he knew that I wanted it so it was mine. My mother is looking at her daughter wear a white long-sleeved shirt that has flowers embroderied around the tits and keyhole with a tie. The keyhole is right between my small budding breasts. She express extreme dislike for the shirt and I start to yell. My father gets involved because Mom drags him in for support and he just stands there helpless as he watches as tear eachother down. My mother says, "You are a hussy" and slaps me across the face. It is the first time since I was a young child that my mother has struck me and it is in that moment that my heart broke a little bit more.
What caused my mother to do this? What inside her made her feel such anger? Was it the sight of her little girl in a shirt that was inappropriate for her to be wearing? Was it the fact that she was annoyed that her husband would do something so stupid that he knew was something that would totally piss her off?
I believe that it was through the extreme brainwashing of the Catholic church. My mother was truely angry about the "dire situation of my soul". She loved me desperately and the Church, which she had submitted to fully, instructed her that as a believer it was her duty to convert her loved ones. And here was her loved one, her child, blatantly defiying her beloved Christian ways.
"There is a calculated destruction of individual conscience. All must submit to the will of those godly men who define the communal good. Sin, in short, is anything the leaders do not like."
The most susceptible people to the Christian lie are those who are in crisis. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why. What happens when things that cause as pain in our lives occur? We struggle. If we are smart, we search for answer. Religion takes away pain and most importantly, religion takes away the fear of death. "The new ideology gives the believers a cause, a sense of purpose, meaning, feelings of superiority, and a way to justify and sanctify their hatreds."
As for reasons why my mother chose this life...I can only assume. What I do is that in her marriage, my mother was in constant crisis mode. Her husband was a stranger and left her cold. Her life was meaningless; Christ brought meaning. She found hope in her daughter, but little in herself. Enter: Jesus. "They embrace a collective madness to crush their personal madness." Why do you think so many former drug users or alcoholics cling to religious convictions? Despair is the most powerful force driving people into the movement.
My mind is powerful. My convictions are strong, but not strong enough. Knowledge will arm me, but my anger will strengthen me.
My mind seeks answers to the painful memories of my past. This is only human and an important part of growing up. I, seek knowledge through learning...books, etc. An important part of my learning process has been through the reading of the book American Fascists by Chris Hedges. This book discusses the Christian Right and the war on America. Through this book I have found many of the answers to why my mother is the way that she is. Through this knowledge I have found a sense of peace but also a renewed since of anger. How's that for a new mess. Anger at radical relgious who infect our loved ones with poison.
Allow me to humor myself with this one memory...
I am 14 years old. At this point in my life I am completely out of control. God only knows what thoughts and fears and sorrows my parents, especially my mother, went through. Getting to the point, I am fourteen and wearing a shirt that my father bought me. It is a shirt that I wanted and he bought. He didnt see the garment on me, but he knew that I wanted it so it was mine. My mother is looking at her daughter wear a white long-sleeved shirt that has flowers embroderied around the tits and keyhole with a tie. The keyhole is right between my small budding breasts. She express extreme dislike for the shirt and I start to yell. My father gets involved because Mom drags him in for support and he just stands there helpless as he watches as tear eachother down. My mother says, "You are a hussy" and slaps me across the face. It is the first time since I was a young child that my mother has struck me and it is in that moment that my heart broke a little bit more.
What caused my mother to do this? What inside her made her feel such anger? Was it the sight of her little girl in a shirt that was inappropriate for her to be wearing? Was it the fact that she was annoyed that her husband would do something so stupid that he knew was something that would totally piss her off?
I believe that it was through the extreme brainwashing of the Catholic church. My mother was truely angry about the "dire situation of my soul". She loved me desperately and the Church, which she had submitted to fully, instructed her that as a believer it was her duty to convert her loved ones. And here was her loved one, her child, blatantly defiying her beloved Christian ways.
"There is a calculated destruction of individual conscience. All must submit to the will of those godly men who define the communal good. Sin, in short, is anything the leaders do not like."
The most susceptible people to the Christian lie are those who are in crisis. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why. What happens when things that cause as pain in our lives occur? We struggle. If we are smart, we search for answer. Religion takes away pain and most importantly, religion takes away the fear of death. "The new ideology gives the believers a cause, a sense of purpose, meaning, feelings of superiority, and a way to justify and sanctify their hatreds."
As for reasons why my mother chose this life...I can only assume. What I do is that in her marriage, my mother was in constant crisis mode. Her husband was a stranger and left her cold. Her life was meaningless; Christ brought meaning. She found hope in her daughter, but little in herself. Enter: Jesus. "They embrace a collective madness to crush their personal madness." Why do you think so many former drug users or alcoholics cling to religious convictions? Despair is the most powerful force driving people into the movement.
My mind is powerful. My convictions are strong, but not strong enough. Knowledge will arm me, but my anger will strengthen me.