Another State of Mind
Home @ 2:20. Sort of anxiously waiting to here from my Mother about Grandma's status. Got back from work, took off all my clothes and now I'm sitting here in front of an open window hoping that the steady breeze streaming in will cleanse me from the smells of breakfast/lunch. That way I won't have to bother with a shower..
Fuck, I'm gross. I never use to be this way. In Jersey I showered at least once daily. I washed my hair constantly. Not owning a hair dryer will do that to you though.
Got a customer today that was a complete and total asshole. I treated him like gold. He tipped me three bucks on a $1.62 check. Fuck bag. He played into my hands because I didn't let him upset me. In my head he was already strung up outside the restaurant, crucified to the door.
Worked hard. $23 in 4 hours.
While washing dishes had a very interesting chat with the "guy who cuts meat in the back" I forget his name. He has three kids, Ashley, the oldest, Amanda, 12, and Andrew in kindergarten. As he described them and went on about how the girls drive him crazy but god he loves them. They're his pride.
I almost threw up. Nevertheless, it was really great to pretend that I was going home to that too.
I need to become my own family. (HOLY FUCKING SHIT, ADAM, GET A NEW KEYBOARD! THIS THING IS A PIECE!) I'm pretty sure I can do this. I want to go home anyhow.
I'm going to take the dog for a walk now and make-up reasons why I need to be happy.
Overall, work was good. I'm working everyday next week except for Friday and that is fucking wonderful. I just pretend pretend pretend at work. I don't even know why I do it either, because it's not like I've got a miserable home life...I don't. It's all inside me.
I just want to maintain.
Fuck, I'm gross. I never use to be this way. In Jersey I showered at least once daily. I washed my hair constantly. Not owning a hair dryer will do that to you though.
Got a customer today that was a complete and total asshole. I treated him like gold. He tipped me three bucks on a $1.62 check. Fuck bag. He played into my hands because I didn't let him upset me. In my head he was already strung up outside the restaurant, crucified to the door.
Worked hard. $23 in 4 hours.
While washing dishes had a very interesting chat with the "guy who cuts meat in the back" I forget his name. He has three kids, Ashley, the oldest, Amanda, 12, and Andrew in kindergarten. As he described them and went on about how the girls drive him crazy but god he loves them. They're his pride.
I almost threw up. Nevertheless, it was really great to pretend that I was going home to that too.
I need to become my own family. (HOLY FUCKING SHIT, ADAM, GET A NEW KEYBOARD! THIS THING IS A PIECE!) I'm pretty sure I can do this. I want to go home anyhow.
I'm going to take the dog for a walk now and make-up reasons why I need to be happy.
Overall, work was good. I'm working everyday next week except for Friday and that is fucking wonderful. I just pretend pretend pretend at work. I don't even know why I do it either, because it's not like I've got a miserable home life...I don't. It's all inside me.
I just want to maintain.