some of my old opendiary entries. i was emo
drowning and falling 3/31/2005
i dont get it lately ive been so happy then i get depressed.... im waiting but its so hard like u dont understand but i will wait forever....
i seen them kiss ahhhhh
when i look into ur eyes everything is ok and i just melt
i love you
em pleh 4/14/2005
omg i started crying in fucken gym what the hell i feel torn apart and it feels like 9im empty inside and my heart has been ripped out maybe its because i love her and i thought she liked me.. whatever im out peace
last night 2/23/2005
so yea last night i was up in blue mountain and got so high freakin at kyles house.....i have some at home wich im gonna smoke after school its great so yea i wanna hangout wid angie later but im not gonna be in barkly unless i dont go to kys and dont get stoned idk wat to do w/e fuck it
[Private Entry]
crying 2/7/2005
im crying inside, all the time it never stops, i cant hide it anymore, it kills me i cant breath, i need someone but have no one, its true im a fuckup, i have no life im fat, im ugly, i dont care bout that much, i am losing my mind im goin crazy, i cant sit still, i wanna die but i wanna live, i hate and at the same time i love, i cry at the same time i try to smile, it dosnt work it fades and so do i, i am just crying and slipping away
5/2/2005
Be Mine
I have probably crossed the line
but i dont care
it will be just fine
as long as ur there
I wanna hold u tight
in my arms with me
i cant stand another fight
Baby why cant u see
how much i love you
please be mine
i would do anything to be with you
but i will be just fine
as long as you just
Be Mine
blah 12/14/2005
i dont even no where to begin..my head is filled with so muc mixed feelings and other.. i had a dream about courtney..it was weird i miss angie shes my bff..
sam is getting hotter by the day lol..
no but seriously i dont know who i am anymore or how to feel
someone please help <3me
how do i live without you? 9/22/2005
everything is getting worse everyday...things are changing....rachels is acting weird...idk...My friends dont really notice when im not around anymore....People usually only ask me now adays to hangout when no one else is around and they are bored...i miss my sister..
So much has been running through my head lately thoughts of things...i wanna take pills but i know its bad so im not...i like to drink but im not suppose to but i do it anyway....ppl are always trying to get me to smoke cuz they forget that i dont...i kinda miss it!
my normal day lately is school,work,hangout wid Rachel homework bed everyday and its getting tiering...i need a change...maybe school no work hangout wid sarrah deanna sam or kyle...or someone else.....then do a few things then listen to music...idk its just its like im in this whirlpool that keeps spinning the same thing over and over and over...
I hope im not sounding like an asshole.cuz im not meaning to...my friends are my world honestly i coundnt live w/o them
Tell me how do i live without you
i<3Rach
things just never change 9/21/2005
ok so yea things never change fucken i was so happy now im not...i mean i am cuz like im happy with rachel but everything else sux...i miss angie so much...im afraid to call her i dont know if shes still mad at me...well everyone else seems to be so might as well...
everynite ive been wid rachel its really kool and makes me happy....i really do like her...haha ive got hickeys or as me and lyss call them berries...
i miss linzie i need to talk to her...
angie-call me im really sry bout wat i did
linzie-call me
sarrah-ur my favorite friend
i dont get it lately ive been so happy then i get depressed.... im waiting but its so hard like u dont understand but i will wait forever....
i seen them kiss ahhhhh
when i look into ur eyes everything is ok and i just melt
i love you
em pleh 4/14/2005
omg i started crying in fucken gym what the hell i feel torn apart and it feels like 9im empty inside and my heart has been ripped out maybe its because i love her and i thought she liked me.. whatever im out peace
last night 2/23/2005
so yea last night i was up in blue mountain and got so high freakin at kyles house.....i have some at home wich im gonna smoke after school its great so yea i wanna hangout wid angie later but im not gonna be in barkly unless i dont go to kys and dont get stoned idk wat to do w/e fuck it
[Private Entry]
crying 2/7/2005
im crying inside, all the time it never stops, i cant hide it anymore, it kills me i cant breath, i need someone but have no one, its true im a fuckup, i have no life im fat, im ugly, i dont care bout that much, i am losing my mind im goin crazy, i cant sit still, i wanna die but i wanna live, i hate and at the same time i love, i cry at the same time i try to smile, it dosnt work it fades and so do i, i am just crying and slipping away
5/2/2005
Be Mine
I have probably crossed the line
but i dont care
it will be just fine
as long as ur there
I wanna hold u tight
in my arms with me
i cant stand another fight
Baby why cant u see
how much i love you
please be mine
i would do anything to be with you
but i will be just fine
as long as you just
Be Mine
blah 12/14/2005
i dont even no where to begin..my head is filled with so muc mixed feelings and other.. i had a dream about courtney..it was weird i miss angie shes my bff..
sam is getting hotter by the day lol..
no but seriously i dont know who i am anymore or how to feel
someone please help <3me
how do i live without you? 9/22/2005
everything is getting worse everyday...things are changing....rachels is acting weird...idk...My friends dont really notice when im not around anymore....People usually only ask me now adays to hangout when no one else is around and they are bored...i miss my sister..
So much has been running through my head lately thoughts of things...i wanna take pills but i know its bad so im not...i like to drink but im not suppose to but i do it anyway....ppl are always trying to get me to smoke cuz they forget that i dont...i kinda miss it!
my normal day lately is school,work,hangout wid Rachel homework bed everyday and its getting tiering...i need a change...maybe school no work hangout wid sarrah deanna sam or kyle...or someone else.....then do a few things then listen to music...idk its just its like im in this whirlpool that keeps spinning the same thing over and over and over...
I hope im not sounding like an asshole.cuz im not meaning to...my friends are my world honestly i coundnt live w/o them
Tell me how do i live without you
i<3Rach
things just never change 9/21/2005
ok so yea things never change fucken i was so happy now im not...i mean i am cuz like im happy with rachel but everything else sux...i miss angie so much...im afraid to call her i dont know if shes still mad at me...well everyone else seems to be so might as well...
everynite ive been wid rachel its really kool and makes me happy....i really do like her...haha ive got hickeys or as me and lyss call them berries...
i miss linzie i need to talk to her...
angie-call me im really sry bout wat i did
linzie-call me
sarrah-ur my favorite friend