time is burning
Tomorrow morning marks the start of another New Year where I will most likely upset everyone and become an even bigger fuck up than I already am. I've come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try I end up pissing people off. Why do my feelings get pushed aside? Why do I always have to be the one to please everyone? God, I'm only one fucking person and I can't do everything, but people seem to think that I can.
I'm very upset right now, but because I know certain people read this, I'm not going to say much about why. Its not worth starting up more shit between us again, but I just want you to know that I didn't fucking lie and I didn't do any shit before. If you don't believe me than that's fine, but I'm telling the truth.
Uuu ggg hhh ... ... ... I'm back to feeling really insecure about the way that I look again and its not getting good. I had a few things to munch on last night, but it wasn't anything. My migranes are getting worse and I feel like I'm being stabbed in the head. I hate when I get like this because this is the time when I lose weight and try to be that "PERFECT" girl. No matter how hard I try to tell myself that I'm fine with the way that I look, for some reason, I cannot believe it. I weigh roughly 110 lbs. and haven't eaten a real meal since yesterday morning at like 10 am and to be honest, I only ate half of it. I try to eat, but sometimes food makes me sick and from not eating, I can't eat a lot before I get full. FUCK, I hate being like this but I can't change it just yet.
Well I don't have anything else to say because frankly I don't even think that I should write in here anymore. Work sucks to the max and school is stupid for right now. Maybe the New Year will bring something amazing my way and maybe for once I'll truly be happy ...
Happy Fucking New Year