woke up this morning and i thought of you
so i'm sitting in my room talking to an old friend and listening to my pretty rad Ten Tragic CD and a million and one things are crossing my mind. everytime i sit down to write in here i always draw a blank at what to say. for some reason things have not been flowing like they usually do and i don't know how to fix that.
my twentyth birthday is less than two months away and i'm not going to lie, that kinda freaks me out. where am i headed in life and what am i going to do, if anything ? i'm completely lost and have no answers for anything. i finally just figured out what i wanted to do in life and if my plan goes well i should be done with school in another three years. i start my third year in just under two weeks and i can't even believe it because i haven't done anything.
jim would have his twenty-nineth birthday in five days and instead he's been gone almost five years. its a surprise how much time flies when you aren't even thinking about things. there are days when i miss him more than other days. there's a lot of times where i call out to him like he can hear me and help me like he used to be. when i need help with the wicked curve balls that life throws my way, i don't have any nor does anyone else. god, i so desperately wish that he could help me with everything. if i could turn back time i would because maybe then i wouldn't be so unhappy. don't get me wrong, i try a lot to make things better but i am a small part to my own happiness.
i wish that i was a six year old little girl again. hanging out in the street with my friends/neighbors were the greatest days ever. not having to worry about broken hearts and growing up. skinning knees and showing off scars were cool. i miss those days :/
my twentyth birthday is less than two months away and i'm not going to lie, that kinda freaks me out. where am i headed in life and what am i going to do, if anything ? i'm completely lost and have no answers for anything. i finally just figured out what i wanted to do in life and if my plan goes well i should be done with school in another three years. i start my third year in just under two weeks and i can't even believe it because i haven't done anything.
jim would have his twenty-nineth birthday in five days and instead he's been gone almost five years. its a surprise how much time flies when you aren't even thinking about things. there are days when i miss him more than other days. there's a lot of times where i call out to him like he can hear me and help me like he used to be. when i need help with the wicked curve balls that life throws my way, i don't have any nor does anyone else. god, i so desperately wish that he could help me with everything. if i could turn back time i would because maybe then i wouldn't be so unhappy. don't get me wrong, i try a lot to make things better but i am a small part to my own happiness.
i wish that i was a six year old little girl again. hanging out in the street with my friends/neighbors were the greatest days ever. not having to worry about broken hearts and growing up. skinning knees and showing off scars were cool. i miss those days :/