[health] About this time last year...
About this time last year, I was laying out plans to lose weight for the wedding. And guess what? I never lost anything for the wedding. About this time last year, I was looking forward to Colin coming home for Christmas, although then he was coming from Kentucky rather than North Carolina, and back then I thought six months was a long time.
Well now I have a year. Colin will be home for Christmas, and then I probably won't see him again until July (perhaps) and then not again until November (give or take whatever the army feels like at the moment). I basically have a year to get (and keep) my shit together.
But I need it to be for me... no matter how much I want to impress Colin when he comes back, by losing all kinds of weight, even more I need this to be for me. I need this for me to feel better about myself, to feel comfortable with myself... as always, I need to become the person that I want to be, and that person does not feel fat. I don't feel fat... but when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or - even worse - a picture, I just want to die.
So here's to me, and the following year; may it be ever so eventful.
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Yesterday went well, by the way... I had a few more points than my daily allowance, but not too many. I still have plenty of flex points to get me through the week. And I'm going to work hard to be aware of what is going in my mouth every second. No more excuses!
Well now I have a year. Colin will be home for Christmas, and then I probably won't see him again until July (perhaps) and then not again until November (give or take whatever the army feels like at the moment). I basically have a year to get (and keep) my shit together.
But I need it to be for me... no matter how much I want to impress Colin when he comes back, by losing all kinds of weight, even more I need this to be for me. I need this for me to feel better about myself, to feel comfortable with myself... as always, I need to become the person that I want to be, and that person does not feel fat. I don't feel fat... but when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or - even worse - a picture, I just want to die.
So here's to me, and the following year; may it be ever so eventful.
----------
Yesterday went well, by the way... I had a few more points than my daily allowance, but not too many. I still have plenty of flex points to get me through the week. And I'm going to work hard to be aware of what is going in my mouth every second. No more excuses!