An email from the Lunt mangerial staff, sent today at 4:30 PM
---------------------------- Original Message ----------------------------
Subject: Pay change
From: Lunt managers
Date: Sat, February 11, 2006 4:38 pm
To: Lunt staff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear lunties,
We're sitting around in the cafe having a managers' "me-e(a)ting" (that is
how luke told me to spell it. i am not kidding.) and we have come up with
what we think is a brilliant idea. We've decided to switch to a type of
"voucher" payment policy, in which we, essentially, pay you in "Fiesta
Style Six-Layer Party Dip." You should all plan to set aside funds from
your first paycheck to acquire a handcart, which you will then use to pick
up each week's pay voucher. We have made this decision for the following
extremely logical reasons:
1. It has six layers.
2. The third layer is unrecognizable.
3. We think two (possibly three) layers are vegan friendly (you're gonna
have to figure out how to get below that first one, though. Sour cream
and cheese is a hell of a combination).
4. Containers are easily stackable and reusable for making furniture to
adorn your dorm space. You can also use them for three-layer dip, if you
so desire.
5. We believe that this policy will lead to an upswing of tips in the
form of Ring Pops. Which also have the power to summon John Francone (à
la Captain Planet)
6. Overtime is paid in Tostitos, which you will need in order to make full
use of your paycheck each week.
We will now be serving six-layer dip cappucinos. We have discussed this
plan with SC, and they think it's a magnificent step in the ongoing
improvements of Lunt Cafe. If you have any questions or concerns, please
email [brooks's email address] or [arjun's email address] or [lunt manager email address]. All questions should be under the subject heading
"The Black Goose Flies at Midnight."
We hope you're as enthusiastic about this wonderful new idea as we are.
Yours,
Lizza-bear
Luka-bear
Sarah-bear
PS. No unauthorized use of the managerial bean dip.
Subject: Pay change
From: Lunt managers
Date: Sat, February 11, 2006 4:38 pm
To: Lunt staff
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear lunties,
We're sitting around in the cafe having a managers' "me-e(a)ting" (that is
how luke told me to spell it. i am not kidding.) and we have come up with
what we think is a brilliant idea. We've decided to switch to a type of
"voucher" payment policy, in which we, essentially, pay you in "Fiesta
Style Six-Layer Party Dip." You should all plan to set aside funds from
your first paycheck to acquire a handcart, which you will then use to pick
up each week's pay voucher. We have made this decision for the following
extremely logical reasons:
1. It has six layers.
2. The third layer is unrecognizable.
3. We think two (possibly three) layers are vegan friendly (you're gonna
have to figure out how to get below that first one, though. Sour cream
and cheese is a hell of a combination).
4. Containers are easily stackable and reusable for making furniture to
adorn your dorm space. You can also use them for three-layer dip, if you
so desire.
5. We believe that this policy will lead to an upswing of tips in the
form of Ring Pops. Which also have the power to summon John Francone (à
la Captain Planet)
6. Overtime is paid in Tostitos, which you will need in order to make full
use of your paycheck each week.
We will now be serving six-layer dip cappucinos. We have discussed this
plan with SC, and they think it's a magnificent step in the ongoing
improvements of Lunt Cafe. If you have any questions or concerns, please
email [brooks's email address] or [arjun's email address] or [lunt manager email address]. All questions should be under the subject heading
"The Black Goose Flies at Midnight."
We hope you're as enthusiastic about this wonderful new idea as we are.
Yours,
Lizza-bear
Luka-bear
Sarah-bear
PS. No unauthorized use of the managerial bean dip.