and i'm leaning on this broken fence between past and present tense

[waitforsummer]

i leave for san diego in four days. i'm apprehensive, terrified, excited, and sad. i found out who my roommate is (though i wasn't given her phone number of email address), so that eased some of my fears. i was worried that i would be living in a triple or a quad. i also received my p.o. box number so my mom and i were able to go shopping for my dorm room this evening. bed bath and beyond has this program where college students can shop there for their dorm needs, and then the store packages and ships the items to the college. it takes the edge off of trying to pack a comforter, sheets, towels, an ironing board, etc. speaking of that, i bought an iron tonight and it made me feel really strange. i always hear of people getting their first apartment who say how weird it is to have to go the store to buy things like kleenex or laundry detergent--things that are usually just always there. i don't know if that makes sense, but it was just a feeling that no matter how hard i try to run from it, i am growing up.

i went on a trip with cameron, his family, and some of his family's friends over the long weekend. we drove to south padre island in south texas. it was a nice vacation and cameron and i were able to spend a lot of time relaxing together on the beach. the highlights of the trip were riding horses on the beach, looking for crabs at night, being buried in sand, and walking along the coast in a swimsuit in the middle of january.

these next few days will be spent packing, being nostalgic, and trying to convince myself that this is the thing i need to do. i know that i need to get out of dallas, but it's just so hard to face the future.