(no subject)
I'm not one of those people who can take notes on TV show while I'm watching it for a couple of reasons. First of all, if I care enough about a show to have in depth thoughts about it I want to devote my whole attention to watching it and taking notes during the show detracts from that. Second, I don't really like to write about my initial thoughts, I like to let things sink in a little and think about them and develop my thoughts before putting them into writing. All of this is a preamble to my thoughts on some recent television.
Last nights two part Everwood was good, parts of it seemed forced, but mostly it was amazing. I can't even get into too much analysis because one bit stood out so much in my mind that I can't stop thinking about it. That last scene between Delia and Dr. Brown. I haven't ever scene a more accurate depiction of what it's like to be an adolecent girl. To want so badly for something even though you know it's going to be uncomfortable and painfull (I'm speaking here of the ski trip Delia wanted to go on). That your not safe (emotionally speaking) even from your best friends, in fact especially from your best friends. I guess I can't really say with certainty that all or even most women and girls can identify, but I can say for sure that I did. There's no way to talk to your parents about what is going on, even your mother (if you had one) because even if they were once in your shoes the only things they will say or (worse) do will just make things worse.
When I was in elementary school I wanted badly to be popular. I actually had plenty of friends and I should have been happy with that but they weren't the "right" friends. I lived in a very small community, I say community rather than town because it was so small that two neighboring towns actually shared a middle school and high school (and still do), but they had seperate elementary schools. I also say community rather than town because I lived between two towns. When I was in 5th grade they started building a new elementary school a few blocks from my house. It was finished in time for me to start 6th grade there and because they took students from my original school and the one in the neighboring town the dynamics of the social structure were radically altered. Which is to say that I, suddenly, was accepted into the popular circle that I'd always longed to belong to and it was awful. They were meaner to me (and each other) than they had been to me when I was an outsider.
Many of you are probably familiar with the infamous Tampon Incident of 1990 as I detailed it in a comment on a friend's LJ entry, but for those who haven't heard the story here it is. I was an early bloomer. I had to start wearing a bra in 4th grade (the second in my class) and I got my period in 6th grade (the first in my class as far as I know). One of my "friends" found feminie hygiene products in my bag, told the rest of the girls and they all went to the machine in the bathroom and bought a bunch more feminie hygiene products and tied/stuck them to my bag.
Now the parental logic (which I was not subjected to because I didn't tell my parents about this incident until years later) that if these girls are so horribly mean then they aren't the kind of girls I want to be friends with is sound and valid and completely lost on a 12 year old girl. Being a 12 year old girl, especially one who may have been on the outside looking in for at least part of her life so far, quite simply sucks ass and no amount of parental love and support and logical advice can make it any better.
The writing of the Delia story line, which had me so worried in the last episode before the hiatus, is so heart wrenchingly truthful that I can't get it out of my head and the actress that plays Delia took my breath away with her performance in that last scene between her and Andy. It was one of those perfect moments that you sometimes see on television that make you FEEL something (or rather makes you feel many things at once) and make you glad that television exists.
I had some things to say about Veronica Mars too, but after dredging up of childhood trauma I'm spent. It will have to wait for another time, like after tonights episode.
Last nights two part Everwood was good, parts of it seemed forced, but mostly it was amazing. I can't even get into too much analysis because one bit stood out so much in my mind that I can't stop thinking about it. That last scene between Delia and Dr. Brown. I haven't ever scene a more accurate depiction of what it's like to be an adolecent girl. To want so badly for something even though you know it's going to be uncomfortable and painfull (I'm speaking here of the ski trip Delia wanted to go on). That your not safe (emotionally speaking) even from your best friends, in fact especially from your best friends. I guess I can't really say with certainty that all or even most women and girls can identify, but I can say for sure that I did. There's no way to talk to your parents about what is going on, even your mother (if you had one) because even if they were once in your shoes the only things they will say or (worse) do will just make things worse.
When I was in elementary school I wanted badly to be popular. I actually had plenty of friends and I should have been happy with that but they weren't the "right" friends. I lived in a very small community, I say community rather than town because it was so small that two neighboring towns actually shared a middle school and high school (and still do), but they had seperate elementary schools. I also say community rather than town because I lived between two towns. When I was in 5th grade they started building a new elementary school a few blocks from my house. It was finished in time for me to start 6th grade there and because they took students from my original school and the one in the neighboring town the dynamics of the social structure were radically altered. Which is to say that I, suddenly, was accepted into the popular circle that I'd always longed to belong to and it was awful. They were meaner to me (and each other) than they had been to me when I was an outsider.
Many of you are probably familiar with the infamous Tampon Incident of 1990 as I detailed it in a comment on a friend's LJ entry, but for those who haven't heard the story here it is. I was an early bloomer. I had to start wearing a bra in 4th grade (the second in my class) and I got my period in 6th grade (the first in my class as far as I know). One of my "friends" found feminie hygiene products in my bag, told the rest of the girls and they all went to the machine in the bathroom and bought a bunch more feminie hygiene products and tied/stuck them to my bag.
Now the parental logic (which I was not subjected to because I didn't tell my parents about this incident until years later) that if these girls are so horribly mean then they aren't the kind of girls I want to be friends with is sound and valid and completely lost on a 12 year old girl. Being a 12 year old girl, especially one who may have been on the outside looking in for at least part of her life so far, quite simply sucks ass and no amount of parental love and support and logical advice can make it any better.
The writing of the Delia story line, which had me so worried in the last episode before the hiatus, is so heart wrenchingly truthful that I can't get it out of my head and the actress that plays Delia took my breath away with her performance in that last scene between her and Andy. It was one of those perfect moments that you sometimes see on television that make you FEEL something (or rather makes you feel many things at once) and make you glad that television exists.
I had some things to say about Veronica Mars too, but after dredging up of childhood trauma I'm spent. It will have to wait for another time, like after tonights episode.