(no subject)
i dont really ever have anything to write about anymore except how my life has been since the summer and how i miss david.things are starting to move forward again i guess. though i dont know if i like where they are headed mostly.
probably not. i talked with someone yesterday about the accident for the first time in a while and i think the fact that they were completely removed from my life and didnt know these people really allowed me to work out thoughts and i feel a lot better and probably wont talk about again for quite some time.
Ron has decided to go back to being a grown up. which i know is for the best. it still sucks to see him go but he'll always be there for us and vice versa.
Mole in his exquisite defiance has started donating plasma twice a week in order to get money to go to the casino. i am not okay with this and really wish he would just get a job.
Jarhead is jumping from girl to girl making the same mistakes. i thought he had it right with Chelsea but then again i dont really know what was happening with them. this is not at all in disrespect for Sam because obviously he cared about her a lot and i think that moving from girl to girl so quickly probably results from some aspect of her death. also it is just in his nature. he likes to feel close to someone even if its just for a while. infact he probably prefers it that way now, but like i say i cant really say for certain because he doesn't tell me these things too often and a lot of it is just observation of a close friend.
Tom is giving up a bit on his dreams. i think that college so far has crushed his spirit. he doesnt talk much anymore about fighting forest fires or joining the peace corps or even owning his bee farm when he is older. this disturbs me a lot because i know that these are all things he can achieve if he sticks it out a little.
i am still completely in love with him and need to find some way to inspire him because i really feel that it is important and up to me. after this happens i will marry him and bare his child and teach him not to be afraid because our child will love him and he wont end up hurting it everytime he touches it. and if not i then i really do hope someone else can. as much as i would love for it to be me and i have every intent of marrying this boy i will not lose sight of reality on this point. but these things really need to happen for Tom, because he is one of the most amazing people i have ever met and he really does deserve it.
i guess i am ranting now and no one cares anyway. i just want to be able to enjoy the pretty fall weather, and i hope we win our first section game tomorrow.
probably not. i talked with someone yesterday about the accident for the first time in a while and i think the fact that they were completely removed from my life and didnt know these people really allowed me to work out thoughts and i feel a lot better and probably wont talk about again for quite some time.
Ron has decided to go back to being a grown up. which i know is for the best. it still sucks to see him go but he'll always be there for us and vice versa.
Mole in his exquisite defiance has started donating plasma twice a week in order to get money to go to the casino. i am not okay with this and really wish he would just get a job.
Jarhead is jumping from girl to girl making the same mistakes. i thought he had it right with Chelsea but then again i dont really know what was happening with them. this is not at all in disrespect for Sam because obviously he cared about her a lot and i think that moving from girl to girl so quickly probably results from some aspect of her death. also it is just in his nature. he likes to feel close to someone even if its just for a while. infact he probably prefers it that way now, but like i say i cant really say for certain because he doesn't tell me these things too often and a lot of it is just observation of a close friend.
Tom is giving up a bit on his dreams. i think that college so far has crushed his spirit. he doesnt talk much anymore about fighting forest fires or joining the peace corps or even owning his bee farm when he is older. this disturbs me a lot because i know that these are all things he can achieve if he sticks it out a little.
i am still completely in love with him and need to find some way to inspire him because i really feel that it is important and up to me. after this happens i will marry him and bare his child and teach him not to be afraid because our child will love him and he wont end up hurting it everytime he touches it. and if not i then i really do hope someone else can. as much as i would love for it to be me and i have every intent of marrying this boy i will not lose sight of reality on this point. but these things really need to happen for Tom, because he is one of the most amazing people i have ever met and he really does deserve it.
i guess i am ranting now and no one cares anyway. i just want to be able to enjoy the pretty fall weather, and i hope we win our first section game tomorrow.