Im Sorry Was That Your Cyanide That I Just Drank?

[waily_waily]

Tonight I'm not going to fucking sleep. My dad is somewhere right now. I don't know where exactly. It worries me when he is gone, I don't want him to break Sue's heart. In a way the remnants (is that how you spell it?) of my heart breaks everyday, just becuase I don't want to fucking wrestle with my dad doesn't mean I hate him. But that's what he thinks. The bastard loves calling me things. My dad labels me so fucking much I just want to slit his wrists and drown him in his own blood (a little violent I know but remember who's livejournal your reading). That's not why I get depressed. Hell no, I would like it better if I cared what they thought. But to be frank, I don't. Oooo, I sound so angsty but I write this entry with a smile on my face. I'll never say no one understands me because I know there is someone out there that does. How I wish I could care about something or someone. Right now I'm just numb. Last year wasn't fun, this year was even less fun. That's life right? I was reading other people's journals and I'm thinking god I wish I had their problems. I'll trade lives with you. Who wants to trade? I'd give anything to have boy problems. But no Jessie has to have real problems. I'm not saying that other people don't have real problems because I'm sure they do or that boy problems aren't real problems. But think about this kiddies, when you complain about your friend problems, what if you didn't have any friends? Ever been through that? Just be thankful you have friends to have fights with. Think your ugly? What if you were burned in a fire that killed your parents and burned the skin right off your face. Think your parents are devils. What if your parents beat you and made you be their work horse? My dad went through that, I admire him for it. What if you didn't have parents?
Did all that depress you? I hope it didn't. I hope it opened your eyes or kept them open. I'm such a hypocrite for saying that, I know. I find myself hating my life all the time. But it could be so much worse than having to wait for your dad to come home not knowing were he was.
I have one more question for everybody...

Can you bleed like me?