ahhh how quickly things pass....

Apr 08, 2005 01:59

things that make me happy:
meeting random people who then sleep on your floor
keelay taking a bath while drunk at 3am
conversations in spanish
hummus
talking with the girls in my human rights seminar

things that make me sad:
hearing alex's view on black people
people who have no motivation in life

things that make me sad and happy at the same time:
talking to my host mom and host sister on the phone

i got back from the emigrant and saw that the pope's funeral was on tv. i knew that my host mom would be awake watching it (it was 9:30am) so i called her and talked for awhile. now i realize why i don't make the effort to call them as much. it's too damn hard 'cause it makes me end up missing them SO much. my dad mentioned to my mom how he thought i just wasn't as sentimental because i didn't call my host family. aside from it being expensive, it's just so hard to call them because it takes me back to last year in cadiz. and yes, i know i talk about it TOO much, but it is hard not to and i find myself trying to stop talking about it, to stop thinking about it. i feel it slowly starting to slip away and i think that is what scares me the most. talking to angelita, i understood everything she said, i haven't lost any spanish, i just have lost a sense of what spain is...what the life is like there. life moves so quickly here that i forget to stop and think sometimes. it's making my head hurt right now. i am happy to be back, but at the same time, i miss so much about spain. i was so relaxed there, i didn't feel inadequate or unproductive when i had nothing to do...i could sit at santa maria and just watch the surfers, or read a book, and i was perfectly content...but then again i don't think i could ever live in cadiz permanently because there are things that i would miss about seattle too much, and just the whole backwardness of cadiz, too many people don't get out of that city...they all have lived there since birth and i feel as though i can't really relate to many gaditanos. but i do miss garbanzos y acelga, the siesta, tomaring un cafe con leche at woodstock and walking along la caleta listening to headphones before i went to atenas. i know that when i go back to visit it won't be the same...things change, people change, and i have to deal with that. i just wish i didn't have to let these memories go so quickly...
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