(no subject)
So we're all writing critiques about each others work tonight and suddenly sebastian asks me to explain my work so I do. Then Kelci, nate, lauren, everybody comes and listens and its awkward. Nate was down the hallway listening and then decided to put in his thoughts about what I was explaining so we're like yelling down the hallway. Kelci ends up stating her frustrations about not being able to understand my concepts because I don't plainly state under each one what they mean. My whole fucking point is not to spoon feed my audience about what they all mean so I tell her this and she gets kind of offended. It's just the way Kelci is though, like she needs to be able to plainly see what the work is about and what it means in connection to me and my ideas. Then Nate starts talking about what he thought the one photo meant w/ my tattoo showing---going on about a completely different concept that I had not intended. I tried to explain, but it didn't really come across because I can't fucking talk about my work. Then as I'm desperately trying to explain another one Kelci of course interrupts as always and tries to make more sense of it, but she sucks at stating her opinions and making sentences connect coherently so I was like what the fuck? Then Nate states that he just doesn't see me as such a negative person and that I'm really lively and not depressing as my photos display. When really WHO the fuck is he to say that? I hate everybody and everything all the time. Everybody knows that. I'm negative and pessimistic and I never have a good take on life? I mean it's not that I'm depressed I just judge everything and everyone.
Anyway it all settles down and I go back to my laptop to write some more and then Kelci keeps going on about how she was offended that I was saying that she needed to be spoonfed, but it's true, but I was about to cry so I couldn't respond. And then she thought that some of the images were cliche and in my head I asked "if they are so cliche then why can't you understand what they signify?" But again I couldn't respond and acted like I was mad and now she thinks that I'm mad at her. eff
anyway, I'm just sad that I can't fucking talk about my work. I wish I could explain why it means so much to me to stay ambiguous. I just wish it would show that I intend for people to really think about how it relates to my experiences and I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
Class critiques are tomorrow and I'm either going to cry while talking about it or feel as if nobody will ever understand what I'm trying to do and just leave disappointed. I just need to get over the fact that people are going on interpret my work differently than what I intend.
I sound like a stupid high schooler in this entire entry.
Anyway it all settles down and I go back to my laptop to write some more and then Kelci keeps going on about how she was offended that I was saying that she needed to be spoonfed, but it's true, but I was about to cry so I couldn't respond. And then she thought that some of the images were cliche and in my head I asked "if they are so cliche then why can't you understand what they signify?" But again I couldn't respond and acted like I was mad and now she thinks that I'm mad at her. eff
anyway, I'm just sad that I can't fucking talk about my work. I wish I could explain why it means so much to me to stay ambiguous. I just wish it would show that I intend for people to really think about how it relates to my experiences and I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.
Class critiques are tomorrow and I'm either going to cry while talking about it or feel as if nobody will ever understand what I'm trying to do and just leave disappointed. I just need to get over the fact that people are going on interpret my work differently than what I intend.
I sound like a stupid high schooler in this entire entry.