(no subject)

[waggleit]

so many times these past few weeks I have wanted to call Alisa. I'm not even sure why or what about. I wonder what she is up to. I guess it's like I have no idea who to peg as my victim to make me get out of...whatever it is. I just have this feeling that she could give me some crucial piece of advice? It's a good thing that my conscious is optimistic though. I don't know why I feel the need to tell people everything that is going on or do things like listen to one song repeat to make myself feel a certain way. Part of me helping me understand myself I suppose. augh I just shouldn't even try to call him anymore. I don't know what I was expecting...no I know what I was expecting...I was expecting it to be okay after some time just as it always is and I know it will be with this, but it won't be back to the way it was of course mabye maaaaybe

I just want to feel so ? well I don't know, but I know what I don't want.

one more thing: GIRLS LIKE TO BE CARESSED. THAT IS ALL.