Day 2 - at a Sheraton in the Boston area
I simply do not know where to begin.
Mom started purposely being an ass without provokation the moment we met dad at the airport. The trip, meeting dad and all this was her idea, she wanted to do it even though everyone told her not to, including my brother and me. I still can't figure out what she wanted out of this. I asked her, several times, but in typical mom fashion she changed the subject each time.
Dad turned out to be milder than I thought. Ed and I were genuinely worried that he would try to kill us, this is part of the reason I started blogging the trip--if I stopped updating, someone could call the police.
However dad is still crazy. At first, Ed and I tried very hard to just smile and nod, but by the end of the day, it was all a mess. My father thinks natural disasters are good omens for our family and we have the ability to cause them. He's also extremely racist, but most Chinese parents are. Additionally, he's sometimes a bit...weird and says out of place or obvious things. I would feel sorry for him if he didn't keep making all of us pissed off. I've cried at least twice today. The worst crying was because I didn't get a goodbye or hug with my brother because dad pissed Edward off. He pissed Edward off when--
Hi. I just left the hotel room to sit in the lobby in my pajamas. Here is the scene in the hotel room when I left:
See the pic? Mom's in one bed, dad's in the other. I'd been looking forward to getting to the hotel because I haven't slept in over 24 hours. I come out of the shower and mom is in one bed and dad in the other, and there is no sofa in the room. I guess I won't be sleeping for another 24 hours more now. I refuse to sleep with either of them.
So I start writing this entry, when dad stirs:
"Did you hear what the death count for Hurricane Katrina is?"
I don't answer.
"Do you know?"
"No, I haven't heard anything about the hurricane."
"I know it might sound weird but it *had* to be done--"
At that point I got up and left the room. I didn't want to hear anymore, I didn't want to argue anymore. What could be said to him? Whatever I say it won't stop him from believing that Katrina was created purposely for the benefit of our family. It won't make him stop wishing death and destruction on our "enemies" and think that everyone is out to get him. It won't make him get a job to actually support his own god damned children. He told Edward, completely seriously, that he cannot get a job because he is working on getting the Nobel prize. And Ed just blew up.
We all had been fighting all day and I just couldn't take it anymore. So here I am sitting in the lobby. I do not think I can stand a week of this, nor do I understand why mom did this to us. I want to visit all my other relatives on the East Coast, but knowing mom she will want to stick with dad and pick more fights.
We dropped Ed off at Tufts and moved him in. Mom, Dad and me then checked into the hotel. I swam in the hotel pool and talked to some random guy at the pool. The whole time I just wanted to leave him, and then when I got back to our room, I felt sad because I realized talking to him was the only part of my day that had not been absolutely miserable, and now I'm back with my parents
Worst of all, I can't even feel properly sorry for myself or let it all out because I keep thinking, it's not like my parents beat me and sell me on the street for drugs or anything like that. They're nuts, but they try to take care of me. And then this just makes me feel worse, because I feel all stressed and upset but also feel like I don't deserve any relief from it because it is my own fault that I am not more respectful of my parents.
Oh and Lillie, I'll probably be in Maryland by Saturday, but if not I will call you.
--Sandra
Mom started purposely being an ass without provokation the moment we met dad at the airport. The trip, meeting dad and all this was her idea, she wanted to do it even though everyone told her not to, including my brother and me. I still can't figure out what she wanted out of this. I asked her, several times, but in typical mom fashion she changed the subject each time.
Dad turned out to be milder than I thought. Ed and I were genuinely worried that he would try to kill us, this is part of the reason I started blogging the trip--if I stopped updating, someone could call the police.
However dad is still crazy. At first, Ed and I tried very hard to just smile and nod, but by the end of the day, it was all a mess. My father thinks natural disasters are good omens for our family and we have the ability to cause them. He's also extremely racist, but most Chinese parents are. Additionally, he's sometimes a bit...weird and says out of place or obvious things. I would feel sorry for him if he didn't keep making all of us pissed off. I've cried at least twice today. The worst crying was because I didn't get a goodbye or hug with my brother because dad pissed Edward off. He pissed Edward off when--
Hi. I just left the hotel room to sit in the lobby in my pajamas. Here is the scene in the hotel room when I left:
See the pic? Mom's in one bed, dad's in the other. I'd been looking forward to getting to the hotel because I haven't slept in over 24 hours. I come out of the shower and mom is in one bed and dad in the other, and there is no sofa in the room. I guess I won't be sleeping for another 24 hours more now. I refuse to sleep with either of them.
So I start writing this entry, when dad stirs:
"Did you hear what the death count for Hurricane Katrina is?"
I don't answer.
"Do you know?"
"No, I haven't heard anything about the hurricane."
"I know it might sound weird but it *had* to be done--"
At that point I got up and left the room. I didn't want to hear anymore, I didn't want to argue anymore. What could be said to him? Whatever I say it won't stop him from believing that Katrina was created purposely for the benefit of our family. It won't make him stop wishing death and destruction on our "enemies" and think that everyone is out to get him. It won't make him get a job to actually support his own god damned children. He told Edward, completely seriously, that he cannot get a job because he is working on getting the Nobel prize. And Ed just blew up.
We all had been fighting all day and I just couldn't take it anymore. So here I am sitting in the lobby. I do not think I can stand a week of this, nor do I understand why mom did this to us. I want to visit all my other relatives on the East Coast, but knowing mom she will want to stick with dad and pick more fights.
We dropped Ed off at Tufts and moved him in. Mom, Dad and me then checked into the hotel. I swam in the hotel pool and talked to some random guy at the pool. The whole time I just wanted to leave him, and then when I got back to our room, I felt sad because I realized talking to him was the only part of my day that had not been absolutely miserable, and now I'm back with my parents
Worst of all, I can't even feel properly sorry for myself or let it all out because I keep thinking, it's not like my parents beat me and sell me on the street for drugs or anything like that. They're nuts, but they try to take care of me. And then this just makes me feel worse, because I feel all stressed and upset but also feel like I don't deserve any relief from it because it is my own fault that I am not more respectful of my parents.
Oh and Lillie, I'll probably be in Maryland by Saturday, but if not I will call you.
--Sandra