A nobody
Ehhh.. this has been a crazy week and it hasnt been fun to say the least:
- i broke up with my boyfriend and he's driving me bonkers
- I bought myself a soda (on friday) and someone from my second mod stole it (bastards)
- i'm losing motivation to anything
-Yet again I cant seem to let go of the past
- i think people are out to get me. (Isnt that sad?)
- I think she's planning something but I'm in such denial I'll let her hurt me over and over till I cant function anymore.
- Friends are leaving me and yet I dont care
- I've given up (for now) life just isnt something i like and/or refuse to accept right now.
Wow....I doubt anyone will read this cause lets face it, who cares? but Ugh...... this is crazy. why should i still be obessing over that situation? It's not fair to her or to me....I cant keep wasting energy on a lost cause but something keeps telling me i should stay, maybe i might have a chance to rekindle what we had or maybe i just want to stay so I can get hurt. Because everyone knows I'm a freak like that. I feel like I spy on her. I just...cant kep away. it's not a phyiscal thing anymore, it grew to something deeper and it's scaring me... I can barley think straight when I'm around her and that feeling should make me happy but all it does is make me sad. she hates me but i dont care. i would walk to the end of the world for her. I would fight anyone who tried to hurt her but i know she wouldnt do the same for me. I love someone so much I would be willing to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger (I'm terrifed of guns) and yet she turns a blind eye and messes with my head. I know she says and does things to hurt me, sometimes i think she means to and other times I dont think she intentally does it. She just wants me to get away from her because she knows how devoted to her that i am. I told her I'd never leave her and though this would be a stiuation for me to break my promise...I...I dont want to. I want to be by her side. For her to treat me with a little respect but i know that's asking too much of her and i would never voice my conserns with her because who am I to her? A nobody that's what.....
- i broke up with my boyfriend and he's driving me bonkers
- I bought myself a soda (on friday) and someone from my second mod stole it (bastards)
- i'm losing motivation to anything
-Yet again I cant seem to let go of the past
- i think people are out to get me. (Isnt that sad?)
- I think she's planning something but I'm in such denial I'll let her hurt me over and over till I cant function anymore.
- Friends are leaving me and yet I dont care
- I've given up (for now) life just isnt something i like and/or refuse to accept right now.
Wow....I doubt anyone will read this cause lets face it, who cares? but Ugh...... this is crazy. why should i still be obessing over that situation? It's not fair to her or to me....I cant keep wasting energy on a lost cause but something keeps telling me i should stay, maybe i might have a chance to rekindle what we had or maybe i just want to stay so I can get hurt. Because everyone knows I'm a freak like that. I feel like I spy on her. I just...cant kep away. it's not a phyiscal thing anymore, it grew to something deeper and it's scaring me... I can barley think straight when I'm around her and that feeling should make me happy but all it does is make me sad. she hates me but i dont care. i would walk to the end of the world for her. I would fight anyone who tried to hurt her but i know she wouldnt do the same for me. I love someone so much I would be willing to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger (I'm terrifed of guns) and yet she turns a blind eye and messes with my head. I know she says and does things to hurt me, sometimes i think she means to and other times I dont think she intentally does it. She just wants me to get away from her because she knows how devoted to her that i am. I told her I'd never leave her and though this would be a stiuation for me to break my promise...I...I dont want to. I want to be by her side. For her to treat me with a little respect but i know that's asking too much of her and i would never voice my conserns with her because who am I to her? A nobody that's what.....