Bzuh?
I just completed the book Ruby by Francesca Lia Block and Carmen Staton.
Typically, I could care less about finishing a book. I mean, in the "need to talk about it with other people" sense. I take the book with me in m heart and move on.
But this? This is painful. And could potentially be a literary tragedy comperable to the Harry/Ginny fanficesque writings of Rowling in her 6th book. Except that was only a portion of the book ... whereas this was the entire book.
The general idea? An extremely "knowing" (intuitive) girl named Ruby is raised by a physically/verbally/sexually abusive father, but doesn't catch as much of the brunt end of the sexual abuse as her fellow-gemstone-named sister, Opal.
We see plenty of flashbacks into Ruby's life as they apply to whatever is currently going on throughout the story.
Like many FLB books, this involves lots of magic and whatnot... but that isn't what we are going to focus on.
So, while working for a family where the father is the producer of movies as a nanny, she comes across Orion Woolfe (Orlando Bloom?), a famous actor whom, being "out of the pop culture loop", she has never heard of. She is, however, immediately moved by his picture on the DVD case and becomes determined to meet and "be" with him.
She does all her research and finds that he was born in a small town in London. (Very .. country. Thatch-roofed houses, pubs, grassy .... on the edge of a forest) He went to school in London and was quickly discovered by an American talent agency after only playing bit roles in English movies/TV shows (Wilde and Midsomer Murders?). He's quite the daredevil (bungee jumping and sword fighting) and ends up falling off the face of the Earth after his horse, Day, throws him after a ride through the forest and breaks his back. (Instead of falling off a friend's balcony?)
He doesn't think he'll be able to walk again ... and is staying with his parents to heal.
Ruby, unaware of his location, makes her journey to England to find Orion. She scouts his favorite places and eventually ends up at his mother's magic shop (This is FLB, what else would it be?). She plays dumb and gets in good with his mother, Isabelle, and eventually meets his father, Phillip.
(We find out at the beginning of the story that Orion's father dies and, as it turns out, the neighbor-man is his biological father ... so the man he's been calling his father is ... not. Sound familiar??)
Eventually, she is asked to help take care of Orion while they go on a "sanity break", and she complies ... (one step closer to achieving her goal!)
Through magic, she "heals" him (with reference to the sun tattoo on his torso. again. familiar??). When he feels better, they go riding together ... yey and joyness.
Then he gets a call for a movie in New Zealand about "creatures who were once good but were sent to the Earth and came out bad" *facepalm*
Oh ... and he has dark, curly hair and brown eyes. *headdesk*
Of course they end up together and he helps her face her not-so-nice past...
But really?
HOW ORLANDO FANFIC IS THIS??!?!?!? *eyeroll* I am pained to see that my favorite author (and her cohort) have written this piece of published literature. Yes, it is at least about my favorite-to-drool-over manceleb, but that's not the point. Since when did it become cool to stoop so low as to write fanfiction and have it published like this????
WHY?
I think I'm going to go see Miss Block when she's at Skylight Books (right next to my work) on the 15th. That is when I will ask her what possessed her to write an Orlando Bloom fanfic ...
And ask her if her upcoming book Psyche in a Dress is going to be equally painful in the ficish department.
Don't get me wrong. I still love her writing ....
but the subject matter was disappointing.
That will be all...
Typically, I could care less about finishing a book. I mean, in the "need to talk about it with other people" sense. I take the book with me in m heart and move on.
But this? This is painful. And could potentially be a literary tragedy comperable to the Harry/Ginny fanficesque writings of Rowling in her 6th book. Except that was only a portion of the book ... whereas this was the entire book.
The general idea? An extremely "knowing" (intuitive) girl named Ruby is raised by a physically/verbally/sexually abusive father, but doesn't catch as much of the brunt end of the sexual abuse as her fellow-gemstone-named sister, Opal.
We see plenty of flashbacks into Ruby's life as they apply to whatever is currently going on throughout the story.
Like many FLB books, this involves lots of magic and whatnot... but that isn't what we are going to focus on.
So, while working for a family where the father is the producer of movies as a nanny, she comes across Orion Woolfe (Orlando Bloom?), a famous actor whom, being "out of the pop culture loop", she has never heard of. She is, however, immediately moved by his picture on the DVD case and becomes determined to meet and "be" with him.
She does all her research and finds that he was born in a small town in London. (Very .. country. Thatch-roofed houses, pubs, grassy .... on the edge of a forest) He went to school in London and was quickly discovered by an American talent agency after only playing bit roles in English movies/TV shows (Wilde and Midsomer Murders?). He's quite the daredevil (bungee jumping and sword fighting) and ends up falling off the face of the Earth after his horse, Day, throws him after a ride through the forest and breaks his back. (Instead of falling off a friend's balcony?)
He doesn't think he'll be able to walk again ... and is staying with his parents to heal.
Ruby, unaware of his location, makes her journey to England to find Orion. She scouts his favorite places and eventually ends up at his mother's magic shop (This is FLB, what else would it be?). She plays dumb and gets in good with his mother, Isabelle, and eventually meets his father, Phillip.
(We find out at the beginning of the story that Orion's father dies and, as it turns out, the neighbor-man is his biological father ... so the man he's been calling his father is ... not. Sound familiar??)
Eventually, she is asked to help take care of Orion while they go on a "sanity break", and she complies ... (one step closer to achieving her goal!)
Through magic, she "heals" him (with reference to the sun tattoo on his torso. again. familiar??). When he feels better, they go riding together ... yey and joyness.
Then he gets a call for a movie in New Zealand about "creatures who were once good but were sent to the Earth and came out bad" *facepalm*
Oh ... and he has dark, curly hair and brown eyes. *headdesk*
Of course they end up together and he helps her face her not-so-nice past...
But really?
HOW ORLANDO FANFIC IS THIS??!?!?!? *eyeroll* I am pained to see that my favorite author (and her cohort) have written this piece of published literature. Yes, it is at least about my favorite-to-drool-over manceleb, but that's not the point. Since when did it become cool to stoop so low as to write fanfiction and have it published like this????
WHY?
I think I'm going to go see Miss Block when she's at Skylight Books (right next to my work) on the 15th. That is when I will ask her what possessed her to write an Orlando Bloom fanfic ...
And ask her if her upcoming book Psyche in a Dress is going to be equally painful in the ficish department.
Don't get me wrong. I still love her writing ....
but the subject matter was disappointing.
That will be all...