edit: didn't get to go to blacksburg today, which really, really pisses me off. who gives a flying fuck that it's a holy day? not me...
you have to be one of the rudest, most disrespectful, selfish people I know. You didn't go to Blacksburg? WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAH! Cearly this day should be all about you, shouldn't it? Not about someone who died for you, no, who would want that when they can whine about not getting to see one of your boyfriends?
What in the world are you thinking? You are going to church to honor The Last Supper, do you not get how important that is? Or are you just using it as another means to find sometihng to complain about?
And one other, VERY simple thing; if you have any kind of problem with me, or anything I have said, if it has made you feel sad or like crap; YOU talk to me about it, sad to say it isn't Mike and Travis's problem, so stop hiding behind them and stand up for your little whine-fests. If either of them mention this to me then all my beliefs and assumptions about you will be confirmed even more.
look, i don't believe in any of it, alright? i'm not telling you my reasoning behind it, because it's very personal. don't try to force any sort of religious beliefs on me. and don't go off ranting at me about it unless you really know everything that's going on. you really like to open your mouth when you don't know the whole story, don't you?
Ok Sam, let's begin with how it doesn't matter whether or not you believe in it anymore, or ever did for that matter. It's a matter of religion, therefore it'll get people upset, so when you openly state something like that, guess what; it's going to piss people off. I stand up for what I believe in, and when people say crap like that; I'm going to call you on it. Its a matter of respect really, something that as of late I've noticed you have none. By the way, maybe people wouldn't dislike you so much if you were a bit more honest; say.....oh, I donno, not telling the person you say you love lies so you won't make him mad while you go hang out with another guy who you want to take his place? Don't tell me I don't know what's going on.
you know what? i don't give a damn if what i say about something of that nature pisses you off. this is 'livejournal'. a journal. i write what i think. and while i won't openly try to offend anyone (ie. omg u no XXXX hez a fukkin dick lolol) i'm not going to keep my feelings about things like that out of here. regardless of what you, or anyone for that matter, thinks about it.
i have been quite honest through most of this, and the only time i lie is to try to avoid hurting someone. even if it never seems to work out in the end.
i wasn't suggesting that you don't know what's going on with this situation. my first comment had absolutely nothing to do with it. but guess what? you don't know everything that's going on. you base things off of assumptions quite often. i suggest keeping your mouth shut when you're basing your statements, in any part, off of assumptions.
you are being, by the way, quite hypocritical, for someone who claims to care so much about religion. reminds me of the people who made me doubt all of it. how 'bout you start practising what your religion preaches? where's the kindness, the respect, the forgiveness?
i have plenty of respect, for people who deserve it. but if you're going to talk down to me as you do, continue to speak without thorough knowledge of this situation, and argue over something that fucking everyone else has laid to rest by now, what reason do i have to think you deserve it? you sure don't show me any, either.
by the way, i don't hide behind anyone. i'll mention my feelings to them, yes, and it's their decision to go off on you, not mine. i prefer keeping my mouth shut; i really dislike confrontation. once again, assumptions...
nice away message this morning, by the way. calling me a heartless slut now, because how i feel about something pissed you off, are you? that's real mature...
Sam, for starters, you haven't been honest to at least Travis very much through all this. I know the lies you have been feeding him, and seriously, in no way can you actually think it would ever help you from hurting him. Maybe for that day or two before he finds out the truth, but then it hurts even more.
Trust me Sam, I have given you multiple chances to gain my trust whether you wanted it or not. You have failed every time. I was kind to you, I respected you for a time, and I forgave you when you lies to my friends. There is a point where I can't take it anymore; the lies, the deceit, the back-stabbing. Every person has a point where they can't sit idly by, you made me reach mine.
I only talk down to you when you do the things mentioned above, and I used to respect you. Also, this did not start out about arguing about how much of a douche you are.
You're right, you don't hide. You just step aside and let them try and fight for you. I can't count the number of times I would be talking to you on AIM about this, then all of a sudden you stop talking, then a minute or two later Mike or Travis come in and ask me why I said what I said to you trying to win YOUR battle for you.
You're right, this is a journal, we should all post what we think no matter what it is: Sam, I think before travis or any of us got to know you, that life was better; Travis laughed more, he smiled more, he had most of his money spent on stuff HE wanted, he didn't hate Mike, no one in our group disliked each other, there was hardly any drama, Mike actually stood by his morals. The reason I can't lay this to rest is because of what it has done to a pretty good freind of mine. You whine and complain about your feelings all the time whilst you run around screwing with other people's to no end. Hm...you're right, it is kinda nice to let people know what you think about stuff.
the only thing i've lied about is where i was once, possibly twice. i've never lied about anything else to him. don't go calling things lies when you have no idea.
back-stabbing? who are you to talk about back-stabbing? i've heard the things you've said too. you've done it to mike, you've done it to me. i am not blind to everything that goes on.
i don't let them try to win a fight, you know. it's their choice if they want to continue on with something, but if i stop talking to you, that usually indicates that i have no desire to continue a conversation. and obviously you didn't care that much, or you would have continued to talk to me till you elicited some sort of response from me.
and here is where you're wrong. everything was fine until all of this shit started in february. and you know what? you have a good deal that can be blamed on you. because you, not any of us, are trying to prolong and exacerbate all the drama.
before all of this, i don't remember many times where he wasn't smiling, laughing. never have i seen someone so happy. i only wish that this whole thing didn't let me see a side of his personality that i didn't think he had. it was that that complicated this whole situation for me, not mike's revelation of his feelings. you misinterpret things a lot, as i've noticed, anyway. you argue some valid points, but some also are incorrect completely. the one that comes to mind is the psp thing at katsucon. it irritated me to hear you speak of how i obviously don't care about him, because i'm playing a game. you know, if i really didn't care, i wouldn't have spent like 95% of the convention with him. i am, in turns, uncaring of what anyone thinks about shows of affection in public, or i care too much and avoid doing anything. instead of just assuming that that was how things were, why didn't you just ask?
i appreciated your talking in the beginning. as i had little trust in you at that point (don't take that as an insult - it takes a long time to earn my trust) it did, for a while, make me feel slightly more inclined to talk to you. but then i started doubting my decision to stay with travis, after he did things that hurt me, as well, and you turned round and just began to argue. a complete 360. and you kept trying to get even more involved in something that didn't really concern you to begin with. and i've seen some of the lies that you've said about me, no doubt trying to twist what they think of me. but they've stayed by my side, because they're true friends.
i don't have any hatred towards anyone involved in this mess. a lack of trust, maybe, and lack of respect. but that's something that can possibly earned back. i want things between people to go back to normal. more than anything, that's what i've wanted for the past two months.
i've probably gone off on a tangent, but i can't type anymore, i've burned my hand and typing is agonizingly slow, and i have an easter mass to get to. if i talk anymore about this, it'll have to be through someone else.
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, `Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
Matthew 7:12
"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
If you are a devote Christian, you would follow this and not reply to this message stating 'Well you are doing the same thing' because you are then not proving to be the better man. Remember 'An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind'
Don't throw the Bible at me Mike, you don't know who you are dealing with. First of all I would like to point out that no one is perfect; that includes you big boy ^_~. You call me on being a devout christian, well I'm going to call you on being a friend. Not even a devout friend, just a friend. I've brought this up many times, but you lied through your teeth to Travis. If you don't want to call it lying then call it back-stabbing. You can't deny it Mike, and you know you can't. I'm not going to dive any further into this because my argument here is not with you; it is with Sam. If you think I'm bakcing out or whatever then just message me on AIM. Oh wait, you can't do that anymore can you? Good going on being mature there bucko (^_~)b
Figured you would reply with something like this and using 'you don't know who you are dealing with' as an added bonus to boost your pride.
You act as if blocking you was a bad thing. By doing so it prevents any unnecessary aurguments and continuation of dicussion that should have already ended.
Go ahead, reply to this and have the last word, I really don't care.
Clearly it is me and my pride, and not me trying to get you to see what you have done. I clearly am that prideful of a person that I do humiliating things all the time for the heck of it. You saying that you figured I would do something is nothing more than you saying you were TRYING to elicit a response from me; real childish Mike. If you have anything more CONSTRUCTIVE to add to your defense or to Sam's as you clearly don't care that you aren't involved in this discussion then please, go right ahead, but don't say stupid crap like this and think you've "won" a battle that wasn't even yours.
I thought this was an argument between you and Sam. you and him can go to another lj page to finish this off, if need be. *is really just posting to see how small the reply window can get*
I thought I made it clear that I was talking to Sam and not Mike:
And one other, VERY simple thing; if you have any kind of problem with me, or anything I have said, if it has made you feel sad or like crap; YOU talk to me about it, sad to say it isn't Mike and Travis's problem, so stop hiding behind them and stand up for your little whine-fests. If either of them mention this to me then all my beliefs and assumptions about you will be confirmed even more.
or really you for that matter, but you aren't arguing or anything, so no biggie ^_^
hm, apparently i missed a huge wall of text earlier, and now i feel inclined to comment.
Sam: that side of me you saw, that wasn't me. i panicked, that's all there is to it. the things i had been hearing made me paranoid, and the thought of losing you was just too much to bear, so i cracked. saying i'm sorry won't change anything, no matter how much i mean it. we had something really special, and it hurts to think that you would give up on that after only one chance. you said yourself that you didn't think our relationship was supposed to end yet, if it was even supposed to end. you know my feelings for you, and you know yours for mine. there's a whole bunch of other stuff i could put in this post, but you've heard pretty much all of it, and i think some of that needs to stay between us.
Aaron: i already asked you once, and i thought you were going to listen, but that didn't last very long. stop doing this. it hurts me every time i see you say these things to her, and it hurts to see her reactions to it. i know at first you were trying to protect me, and i really appreciated that, even if i didn't agree with you at all. now it's just gotten out of hand.
you said i smiled more, and laughed more, before i met her. she has made me happier than i had ever been before in my life. and i made her happy too, which made me even happier, knowing that i could have that kind of effect on somebody. she also hurt me more than i've ever been hurt, but the happiness cancels it out and easily makes up for it. isn't part of being my friend wanting me to be happy? i can't even describe the happiness i've felt when i'm with her, but i can say that i've cried numerous times out of sheer joy and love. there's more stuff i could say to you, too, but at this point my attention is wavering >>;
Mike: I really don't have that much to say to you, because most of it has already been said by others. i remember you saying something along the lines of you not wanting to do anything to hurt/lose a friend. guess you didn't mean it. you've shown your true colors lately, and it scares me. i'm not the only one, either. how does it feel to know that people are afraid of you?
also, we're all hypocrites for some reason another, myself included.
Yes, my intentions were to not want to hurt or lose a fiend, but unfortunately it does happen. People should not be afraid of me, but I understand why people would hate me, and if this is the price I have to pay to follow my heart, then so be it.
All I want is for this nonsense to end, I don't care to sway people's opinions, and I rather not argue about anything. All you're doing, Aaron, is huring Sam, and that's what makes you a horrible person. Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave her alone.
you have to be one of the rudest, most disrespectful, selfish people I know. You didn't go to Blacksburg? WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAH! Cearly this day should be all about you, shouldn't it? Not about someone who died for you, no, who would want that when they can whine about not getting to see one of your boyfriends?
What in the world are you thinking? You are going to church to honor The Last Supper, do you not get how important that is? Or are you just using it as another means to find sometihng to complain about?
And one other, VERY simple thing; if you have any kind of problem with me, or anything I have said, if it has made you feel sad or like crap; YOU talk to me about it, sad to say it isn't Mike and Travis's problem, so stop hiding behind them and stand up for your little whine-fests. If either of them mention this to me then all my beliefs and assumptions about you will be confirmed even more.
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i have been quite honest through most of this, and the only time i lie is to try to avoid hurting someone. even if it never seems to work out in the end.
i wasn't suggesting that you don't know what's going on with this situation. my first comment had absolutely nothing to do with it. but guess what? you don't know everything that's going on. you base things off of assumptions quite often. i suggest keeping your mouth shut when you're basing your statements, in any part, off of assumptions.
you are being, by the way, quite hypocritical, for someone who claims to care so much about religion. reminds me of the people who made me doubt all of it. how 'bout you start practising what your religion preaches? where's the kindness, the respect, the forgiveness?
i have plenty of respect, for people who deserve it. but if you're going to talk down to me as you do, continue to speak without thorough knowledge of this situation, and argue over something that fucking everyone else has laid to rest by now, what reason do i have to think you deserve it? you sure don't show me any, either.
by the way, i don't hide behind anyone. i'll mention my feelings to them, yes, and it's their decision to go off on you, not mine. i prefer keeping my mouth shut; i really dislike confrontation. once again, assumptions...
nice away message this morning, by the way. calling me a heartless slut now, because how i feel about something pissed you off, are you? that's real mature...
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Trust me Sam, I have given you multiple chances to gain my trust whether you wanted it or not. You have failed every time. I was kind to you, I respected you for a time, and I forgave you when you lies to my friends. There is a point where I can't take it anymore; the lies, the deceit, the back-stabbing. Every person has a point where they can't sit idly by, you made me reach mine.
I only talk down to you when you do the things mentioned above, and I used to respect you. Also, this did not start out about arguing about how much of a douche you are.
You're right, you don't hide. You just step aside and let them try and fight for you. I can't count the number of times I would be talking to you on AIM about this, then all of a sudden you stop talking, then a minute or two later Mike or Travis come in and ask me why I said what I said to you trying to win YOUR battle for you.
You're right, this is a journal, we should all post what we think no matter what it is: Sam, I think before travis or any of us got to know you, that life was better; Travis laughed more, he smiled more, he had most of his money spent on stuff HE wanted, he didn't hate Mike, no one in our group disliked each other, there was hardly any drama, Mike actually stood by his morals. The reason I can't lay this to rest is because of what it has done to a pretty good freind of mine. You whine and complain about your feelings all the time whilst you run around screwing with other people's to no end. Hm...you're right, it is kinda nice to let people know what you think about stuff.
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back-stabbing? who are you to talk about back-stabbing? i've heard the things you've said too. you've done it to mike, you've done it to me. i am not blind to everything that goes on.
i don't let them try to win a fight, you know. it's their choice if they want to continue on with something, but if i stop talking to you, that usually indicates that i have no desire to continue a conversation. and obviously you didn't care that much, or you would have continued to talk to me till you elicited some sort of response from me.
and here is where you're wrong. everything was fine until all of this shit started in february. and you know what? you have a good deal that can be blamed on you. because you, not any of us, are trying to prolong and exacerbate all the drama.
before all of this, i don't remember many times where he wasn't smiling, laughing. never have i seen someone so happy. i only wish that this whole thing didn't let me see a side of his personality that i didn't think he had. it was that that complicated this whole situation for me, not mike's revelation of his feelings. you misinterpret things a lot, as i've noticed, anyway. you argue some valid points, but some also are incorrect completely. the one that comes to mind is the psp thing at katsucon. it irritated me to hear you speak of how i obviously don't care about him, because i'm playing a game. you know, if i really didn't care, i wouldn't have spent like 95% of the convention with him. i am, in turns, uncaring of what anyone thinks about shows of affection in public, or i care too much and avoid doing anything. instead of just assuming that that was how things were, why didn't you just ask?
i appreciated your talking in the beginning. as i had little trust in you at that point (don't take that as an insult - it takes a long time to earn my trust) it did, for a while, make me feel slightly more inclined to talk to you. but then i started doubting my decision to stay with travis, after he did things that hurt me, as well, and you turned round and just began to argue. a complete 360. and you kept trying to get even more involved in something that didn't really concern you to begin with. and i've seen some of the lies that you've said about me, no doubt trying to twist what they think of me. but they've stayed by my side, because they're true friends.
i don't have any hatred towards anyone involved in this mess. a lack of trust, maybe, and lack of respect. but that's something that can possibly earned back. i want things between people to go back to normal. more than anything, that's what i've wanted for the past two months.
i've probably gone off on a tangent, but i can't type anymore, i've burned my hand and typing is agonizingly slow, and i have an easter mass to get to. if i talk anymore about this, it'll have to be through someone else.
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"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, `Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
Matthew 7:12
"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
If you are a devote Christian, you would follow this and not reply to this message stating 'Well you are doing the same thing' because you are then not proving to be the better man. Remember 'An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind'
Reply
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You act as if blocking you was a bad thing. By doing so it prevents any unnecessary aurguments and continuation of dicussion that should have already ended.
Go ahead, reply to this and have the last word, I really don't care.
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And one other, VERY simple thing; if you have any kind of problem with me, or anything I have said, if it has made you feel sad or like crap; YOU talk to me about it, sad to say it isn't Mike and Travis's problem, so stop hiding behind them and stand up for your little whine-fests. If either of them mention this to me then all my beliefs and assumptions about you will be confirmed even more.
or really you for that matter, but you aren't arguing or anything, so no biggie ^_^
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Sam: that side of me you saw, that wasn't me. i panicked, that's all there is to it. the things i had been hearing made me paranoid, and the thought of losing you was just too much to bear, so i cracked. saying i'm sorry won't change anything, no matter how much i mean it. we had something really special, and it hurts to think that you would give up on that after only one chance. you said yourself that you didn't think our relationship was supposed to end yet, if it was even supposed to end. you know my feelings for you, and you know yours for mine. there's a whole bunch of other stuff i could put in this post, but you've heard pretty much all of it, and i think some of that needs to stay between us.
Aaron: i already asked you once, and i thought you were going to listen, but that didn't last very long. stop doing this. it hurts me every time i see you say these things to her, and it hurts to see her reactions to it. i know at first you were trying to protect me, and i really appreciated that, even if i didn't agree with you at all. now it's just gotten out of hand.
you said i smiled more, and laughed more, before i met her. she has made me happier than i had ever been before in my life. and i made her happy too, which made me even happier, knowing that i could have that kind of effect on somebody. she also hurt me more than i've ever been hurt, but the happiness cancels it out and easily makes up for it. isn't part of being my friend wanting me to be happy? i can't even describe the happiness i've felt when i'm with her, but i can say that i've cried numerous times out of sheer joy and love. there's more stuff i could say to you, too, but at this point my attention is wavering >>;
Mike: I really don't have that much to say to you, because most of it has already been said by others. i remember you saying something along the lines of you not wanting to do anything to hurt/lose a friend. guess you didn't mean it. you've shown your true colors lately, and it scares me. i'm not the only one, either. how does it feel to know that people are afraid of you?
also, we're all hypocrites for some reason another, myself included.
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All I want is for this nonsense to end, I don't care to sway people's opinions, and I rather not argue about anything. All you're doing, Aaron, is huring Sam, and that's what makes you a horrible person. Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave her alone.
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