It Is Done
So I've accepted the university offer. It's funny, I have been waiting for this opportunity for so long, and when it's here I second-guess myself to the pits, all the while hemming and hawing about the final decision: Do I take the plunge, or not?
Before, all I had were dreams and aspirations, which were nice to think about and wonder, and dream, because that's all it is: a dream. All the good things without the bad ones to go along with it. How nice it would be to work under the shade of the pyramids! How cool would it be to trek through the mexican jungles?
But dreams aren't reality, and I know that very well. I might not get the chance to even study pyramids. Maybe I won't get used to the jungles. Worse still, I might not even be a professional archeologist when I finish my studies. I've pondered over all that, and there's only one conclusion to be had: What I'm doing is crazy, and when I start walking down this path, lots of doors that lead to possible and maybe better futures will close. And to top off all that, my studies will drain a huge amount of money, and I haven't yet figured out if my family can send me through without inflicting strain on themselves. Part of me feels guilty that I'm placing this burden on them just because I want to do what I want to do.
I'm scared. I'm frightened, actually. I can't shake the thought that I could be doing something wrong, that I might be sentencing myself to a life of regret. And I'll be a stranger in a strange land when I go, with only myself to keep me company. The financial burden still isn't resolved cleanly yet. And let's not even get started on the student visa and accommodation issues.
I'm going to see an advisor tomorrow, hopefully. They help with the little things like visas and such, and bank loans. I hope I find out something that will let me go with a little less worry in my mind.
It's interesting how much of this feels like being in the Matrix, or the Real World, specifically speaking. I'm going on a journey that's risky as hell, where I'm not guaranteed a good life. But what's funny is that I could forget all this madness, take up a Computer Networking course in the local university, or even Australia if I'm hard-pressed, get my degree and start working to pay my way through life. I might even earn a fair bit too. But noooo, I had to choose the swashbuckling profession that suffers from common misconception* and thus is not well understood. Why must I go through all of this? I could just 'jack' myself back in and live a happy life. Take the blue pill. Or was it the red pill?
Either way, the rabbit has just gone down the hole, and I'm following closely behind, hoping that it's worth all the trouble.
*- I'm serious. I lost count of the number of people who said something to the effect of, 'Wow, next time I'll see you on the papers! "Professor Simon discovers another dinosaur fossil!"' That's Paeleontology, *not* Archeology. Get it right! Geez...
Before, all I had were dreams and aspirations, which were nice to think about and wonder, and dream, because that's all it is: a dream. All the good things without the bad ones to go along with it. How nice it would be to work under the shade of the pyramids! How cool would it be to trek through the mexican jungles?
But dreams aren't reality, and I know that very well. I might not get the chance to even study pyramids. Maybe I won't get used to the jungles. Worse still, I might not even be a professional archeologist when I finish my studies. I've pondered over all that, and there's only one conclusion to be had: What I'm doing is crazy, and when I start walking down this path, lots of doors that lead to possible and maybe better futures will close. And to top off all that, my studies will drain a huge amount of money, and I haven't yet figured out if my family can send me through without inflicting strain on themselves. Part of me feels guilty that I'm placing this burden on them just because I want to do what I want to do.
I'm scared. I'm frightened, actually. I can't shake the thought that I could be doing something wrong, that I might be sentencing myself to a life of regret. And I'll be a stranger in a strange land when I go, with only myself to keep me company. The financial burden still isn't resolved cleanly yet. And let's not even get started on the student visa and accommodation issues.
I'm going to see an advisor tomorrow, hopefully. They help with the little things like visas and such, and bank loans. I hope I find out something that will let me go with a little less worry in my mind.
It's interesting how much of this feels like being in the Matrix, or the Real World, specifically speaking. I'm going on a journey that's risky as hell, where I'm not guaranteed a good life. But what's funny is that I could forget all this madness, take up a Computer Networking course in the local university, or even Australia if I'm hard-pressed, get my degree and start working to pay my way through life. I might even earn a fair bit too. But noooo, I had to choose the swashbuckling profession that suffers from common misconception* and thus is not well understood. Why must I go through all of this? I could just 'jack' myself back in and live a happy life. Take the blue pill. Or was it the red pill?
Either way, the rabbit has just gone down the hole, and I'm following closely behind, hoping that it's worth all the trouble.
*- I'm serious. I lost count of the number of people who said something to the effect of, 'Wow, next time I'll see you on the papers! "Professor Simon discovers another dinosaur fossil!"' That's Paeleontology, *not* Archeology. Get it right! Geez...