random thoughts scribbled on a broken keyboard
thoughts. I finally had another revelation. The last time I had one was the day I started this silly livejournal business... that was a while ago. Home. It's this silly imaginary place. I'm not sure I remember the day that the house I grew up in stopped being my home. It could have been the day I moved out into a shitty little house on Fleet Ave. or maybe it was when my mother moved out to British Columbia.
I'm homesick for a place that doesnt exist anymore. It's like being all fucked up about my old relationship with Leslie - I'm homesick for a place that doesnt exist anymore.
Maybe all family is is a bunch of people that still miss the same imaginary place?
There's some things I still can't let go of - things I still really need to work out. I can't stop missing these imaginary places that don't exist anymore... how do you eliminate the need for something that doesn't exist? Do you have to just wait until some psychological catalyst to come along and all of a sudden the imaginary place exists again... but in a different place or person?
One thing that she said when our relationship ended was that she didnt want to feel that she needed someone else anymore. That she wanted to be able to be happy on her own. She never liked dependancy... but I guess she never really thought she was dependant until she saw a life appear outside of us. It may sound strange but I miss kissing someone who is crying. I cared so much - all I cared about was making her feel better. I loved that I could do that. I guess that lack of control was what eventually tore us apart? Hard to say. I feel like I understand some of things better now.
Anyone reading - forgive the ramblings. I had to put it somewhere - this seemed convenient.
I'm homesick for a place that doesnt exist anymore. It's like being all fucked up about my old relationship with Leslie - I'm homesick for a place that doesnt exist anymore.
Maybe all family is is a bunch of people that still miss the same imaginary place?
There's some things I still can't let go of - things I still really need to work out. I can't stop missing these imaginary places that don't exist anymore... how do you eliminate the need for something that doesn't exist? Do you have to just wait until some psychological catalyst to come along and all of a sudden the imaginary place exists again... but in a different place or person?
One thing that she said when our relationship ended was that she didnt want to feel that she needed someone else anymore. That she wanted to be able to be happy on her own. She never liked dependancy... but I guess she never really thought she was dependant until she saw a life appear outside of us. It may sound strange but I miss kissing someone who is crying. I cared so much - all I cared about was making her feel better. I loved that I could do that. I guess that lack of control was what eventually tore us apart? Hard to say. I feel like I understand some of things better now.
Anyone reading - forgive the ramblings. I had to put it somewhere - this seemed convenient.