Did you know...?
So after we watched a movie in marketing yesterday about how Wal-Mart is raping America, I was so shocked at what I saw that I figured it'd be fun to make up some fake appalling facts (factiness, if you will) about Wal-Mart, because frankly, after seeing the movie I wouldn't put anything past those fuckers...
Did you know, that Lee Scott, CEO of Wal-Mart, starts his day with a glass of fresh squeezed puppy juice?
Did you know, that Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart, originally got the idea for Wal-Mart from Hitler?
When factory workers in Bangladesh asked for a half a cent raise in their weekly wage, Wal-Mart sent a task force to burn their village down.
Did you know, the Walton family does not need food to survive, much like you or I, but rather subsides on the souls of the innocent.
Wal-Mart pays inner city gangs to drive around their parking lots and rape people.
Wal-Mart scientists were responsible for developing the AIDS virus in the 70's, and are only holding onto the cure for the next decade or so so they can sell it back at their low low prices.
Dick Cheney buys all his shotgun shells at Wal-Mart.
Did you know, Sam Walton did not die, as is commonly believed, but rather waits in limbo until Judgement Day where he will arise once more only to ride as the fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse.
Did you know, that Lee Scott, CEO of Wal-Mart, starts his day with a glass of fresh squeezed puppy juice?
Did you know, that Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart, originally got the idea for Wal-Mart from Hitler?
When factory workers in Bangladesh asked for a half a cent raise in their weekly wage, Wal-Mart sent a task force to burn their village down.
Did you know, the Walton family does not need food to survive, much like you or I, but rather subsides on the souls of the innocent.
Wal-Mart pays inner city gangs to drive around their parking lots and rape people.
Wal-Mart scientists were responsible for developing the AIDS virus in the 70's, and are only holding onto the cure for the next decade or so so they can sell it back at their low low prices.
Dick Cheney buys all his shotgun shells at Wal-Mart.
Did you know, Sam Walton did not die, as is commonly believed, but rather waits in limbo until Judgement Day where he will arise once more only to ride as the fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse.