I got used to not sleeping
I sucked my fear of earplugs in and put them in the ears, both at the same time so I don't feel the created vacuum so much. So I managed to stick them so into the ears they might've touched my eardrums, not that I would feel a thing with those... And the result?... I started hearing the music from the flat next to mine. Sure I stopped hearing anything from my room or anything, but those far-away noises got louder... I wonder what earplugs are for... Are there different types? Is there actually a type that really stops noises???
What's up with two roommates having a totally different living graphic. Once one of them stops producing her daily living noise the other one starts up. What's up with having hushed sex with your boyfriend in the fucking bathroom... Like hushing it can help, when all the sounds get louder in the bathroom. Gotta be dumb to do that 4 am in the morning and knowing that both your roommates are in, and one of them is probably awake judging by the lit-up room (that'd be me). And I fucking needed to use that bathroom. Ugh, so sick of sluts. Why do I have to live with them. Can't I just live with normal people... Being considerate and having common sense is probably a thing from the past. Yes, I'm just old-fashioned and everyone else simply adapts to everything that comes their way, like aliens from slut-ville and psychos who like to mown the bushes at fucking 8 am in the morning.
Is socializing and being in the cool crowd so important people would forget about their pride to fit in? I wonder... To them probably. I wonder if they know how their "cool" friends mock them once they turn their backs to them. And how the "cool" friends call each other names once they're not together anymore... I just wish my door was sound-proof so I wouldn't hear those things while I'm trying to read or write something in my room. I get a whole social drama going in the kitchen right outside of my room. I can't help thinking it's so pathetic. I tried talking to one of the follower girls and my god, never seen such a blank look, showing no interest in a conversation with someone else than the pack leader. And that pack leader... she only hears herself apparently, completely ignored an advice my friend gave her about one restaurant that she was planning to visit with her pack. She regreted her choice later on though, not that it matters much. Just amazing how there are people who only listen to themselves or to people who talk about stuff that benefits them personally. Hearing things like "-insert pack leader's name here- told me to wait for her here." make feel so sad man... So sad. I find a reason to be antisocial. If only to keep my already humongous pride.
However, living with that pack leader and listening to her trying to "socialize" with me, and her faithful follower (who is also a profesional leech, managed to stick herself to all the other girl's friends, sweet-talked all the guys into her puppies and leaves her stuff all over the place only promising to clean and waiting for someone else to do it before her)... proves to be tiring. Best thing was one of their guy friends trying to mock me. Tell me how much can one take of such shit. Well, the guy got the death-glare deluxe and his face on my red list. Only waiting for him to say a dumb thing for the second time to eat him alive. Once I can let go by, a second mistake is unforgivable. Why can't people just mind their business. When they see a person reluctant to mingle with them, must they pay special notice to them and annoy them. They'll get hit by a lightning one day. It's been storming like crazy here these days anyway. I'll just will some of those scary lightnings their way. Less idiots on this world.
Finally tidied my room. I can actually see the floor and walk from the door to the other end of the room... I can reach those shelves with my notes on them... It feels so empty now. Like something is missing (must be those 5 bags of useless things a threw away). When I look around there's nothing blocking my sight, and the sunlight is coming through freely (though I wish there could be something to prevent it). Got internet in my room and don't need to rot in the uni anymore, huge progress. I also have a presentation this evening. Just wish it would end quickly so I can sigh in relief. Not that I don't have 10 troubles waiting for me right after. just writing them down would make me nervous so better not... I just wonder why I'm so unmotivated. Who's gonna live my life for me? I think these days I sleep in 4 days through the week, the rest I spend in travelling through time and forgetting the date.
Today's achievement: I managed to restore my recycle bin after accidentally deleting it from the desktop. Sure it doesn't sound like anything big, but for a first-timer like me it's pretty amazing already. I got so freaked out when I saw it disappear, thinking "Now I've done it, I knew I should read those pop-up messages before I do anything." Thankfully I remembered that there are plenty of lost people like me over the world and someone was bound to have already done the same thing before, asked how to fix things over the net, and someone has probably figured it out. Good thing, that.
I so want to write a story about loose morals and the way those people think. I want to do it in a positive light. I'm just wondering whether people can change with the right settings. It depends on what defines their behavior. So it could be personal beliefs, a distant memory that served as a key to unlock a hidden away personality, the psyche. Nothing can beat the human's psyche. To think like an unprincipled person I need to forget my morals too, then interesting thoughts surface in my mind. It's shocking how the same things that disgusted me before that moment make me giggle after and I can't find anything wrong in them.
I don't want to only be able to draw when I have an inspiration. I wish I could draw at any time, but only ugly scribbles come out. Ah, I'm getting old and passionless.
What's up with two roommates having a totally different living graphic. Once one of them stops producing her daily living noise the other one starts up. What's up with having hushed sex with your boyfriend in the fucking bathroom... Like hushing it can help, when all the sounds get louder in the bathroom. Gotta be dumb to do that 4 am in the morning and knowing that both your roommates are in, and one of them is probably awake judging by the lit-up room (that'd be me). And I fucking needed to use that bathroom. Ugh, so sick of sluts. Why do I have to live with them. Can't I just live with normal people... Being considerate and having common sense is probably a thing from the past. Yes, I'm just old-fashioned and everyone else simply adapts to everything that comes their way, like aliens from slut-ville and psychos who like to mown the bushes at fucking 8 am in the morning.
Is socializing and being in the cool crowd so important people would forget about their pride to fit in? I wonder... To them probably. I wonder if they know how their "cool" friends mock them once they turn their backs to them. And how the "cool" friends call each other names once they're not together anymore... I just wish my door was sound-proof so I wouldn't hear those things while I'm trying to read or write something in my room. I get a whole social drama going in the kitchen right outside of my room. I can't help thinking it's so pathetic. I tried talking to one of the follower girls and my god, never seen such a blank look, showing no interest in a conversation with someone else than the pack leader. And that pack leader... she only hears herself apparently, completely ignored an advice my friend gave her about one restaurant that she was planning to visit with her pack. She regreted her choice later on though, not that it matters much. Just amazing how there are people who only listen to themselves or to people who talk about stuff that benefits them personally. Hearing things like "-insert pack leader's name here- told me to wait for her here." make feel so sad man... So sad. I find a reason to be antisocial. If only to keep my already humongous pride.
However, living with that pack leader and listening to her trying to "socialize" with me, and her faithful follower (who is also a profesional leech, managed to stick herself to all the other girl's friends, sweet-talked all the guys into her puppies and leaves her stuff all over the place only promising to clean and waiting for someone else to do it before her)... proves to be tiring. Best thing was one of their guy friends trying to mock me. Tell me how much can one take of such shit. Well, the guy got the death-glare deluxe and his face on my red list. Only waiting for him to say a dumb thing for the second time to eat him alive. Once I can let go by, a second mistake is unforgivable. Why can't people just mind their business. When they see a person reluctant to mingle with them, must they pay special notice to them and annoy them. They'll get hit by a lightning one day. It's been storming like crazy here these days anyway. I'll just will some of those scary lightnings their way. Less idiots on this world.
Finally tidied my room. I can actually see the floor and walk from the door to the other end of the room... I can reach those shelves with my notes on them... It feels so empty now. Like something is missing (must be those 5 bags of useless things a threw away). When I look around there's nothing blocking my sight, and the sunlight is coming through freely (though I wish there could be something to prevent it). Got internet in my room and don't need to rot in the uni anymore, huge progress. I also have a presentation this evening. Just wish it would end quickly so I can sigh in relief. Not that I don't have 10 troubles waiting for me right after. just writing them down would make me nervous so better not... I just wonder why I'm so unmotivated. Who's gonna live my life for me? I think these days I sleep in 4 days through the week, the rest I spend in travelling through time and forgetting the date.
Today's achievement: I managed to restore my recycle bin after accidentally deleting it from the desktop. Sure it doesn't sound like anything big, but for a first-timer like me it's pretty amazing already. I got so freaked out when I saw it disappear, thinking "Now I've done it, I knew I should read those pop-up messages before I do anything." Thankfully I remembered that there are plenty of lost people like me over the world and someone was bound to have already done the same thing before, asked how to fix things over the net, and someone has probably figured it out. Good thing, that.
I so want to write a story about loose morals and the way those people think. I want to do it in a positive light. I'm just wondering whether people can change with the right settings. It depends on what defines their behavior. So it could be personal beliefs, a distant memory that served as a key to unlock a hidden away personality, the psyche. Nothing can beat the human's psyche. To think like an unprincipled person I need to forget my morals too, then interesting thoughts surface in my mind. It's shocking how the same things that disgusted me before that moment make me giggle after and I can't find anything wrong in them.
I don't want to only be able to draw when I have an inspiration. I wish I could draw at any time, but only ugly scribbles come out. Ah, I'm getting old and passionless.