Dorothy From Kansas, Part 4
Edit time! I got some bad feedback on part 3. Apparently, I can't write porn. Well, you never know until you try. Anyway, I rewrote part 3 and cut it into two different sections, the second one you see before you. If you read the pre-edit version, the one that was my crappy attempt at erotica, go back and read part 3 before you read this, because part 3 has changed. And now, part 4!
January 21, 2100
I made a mistake.
I made a big mistake.
OK, so remember that date I told you about before? The one with the hispanic guy who was all into infosocialism and Islamic sci-fi? Well, I went on it. Tanaka had warned me about making contact with people too quickly, and I probably should have listened.
At first it went OK. I connected to his server, which placed me in his access path. For me it was the White House lawn, but for him, it was apparently a hallway in a crappy apartment building. I was in front of apartment 3A, so I assumed that was the door I was supposed to knock on. I knocked, he answered.
“Coming!” he yelled loudly. I waited for a bit, and he came to the door wearing an apron. I could tell from the smell that he had decided to cook me dinner.
“Couldn’t you just make the food appear?” I asked.
“Of course,” he said. “But then you wouldn’t know what a good cook I am.” It was the cheesiest line, but it worked on me, and when he kissed me on my cheek, I blushed like a fucking school girl.
He then teased me about the fact that I was wearing the same outfit I wore at con, and I flirted back saying something stupid about how if he didn’t like it we could always change it or something like that. I was saying stupid stuff like that all night. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I really wanted this guy. Not like a normal wanted, but like a lifelong fantasy wanted. I wondered about it at the time. I was wondering if maybe I had been a virgin before or maybe I had some weird thing for hispanic or something else. I don’t know what I thought. Now I have even more questions.
I have to admit, the food was good. He made these really nice enchiladas with rice and there were also some chips and guacamole. There was also some kind of wine there, he told me what, but I forgot.
“So,” I asked. “How does digital liquor work?” He laughed at me. He was always laughing when I didn’t understand something.
“The booze gets your drunk, but you sober up instantly the moment you want to and there’s no hangover.” He was actually telling the truth about that, for once. However, me being the stupid girl that I am, I got drunk and stayed drunk for much longer than I should have.
We finished the meal and he suggested we go into his living room and watch more episodes of The Golden Jihad. I went with him and quickly learned that there weren’t that many good episodes besides Al-Azar And The Red Planet. I didn’t care, though. When I got bored with the show, I either had another glass of wine, or I threw myself at him. Like I said, I really wanted him, and I don’t know if it was the booze or if I’m just generally stupid, but I was all over him all night.
He didn’t seem surprised by this at all. The smug bastard seemed to know exactly what was going to happen. When we were making out, he started telling me what to do. I don’t mean normal making suggestions kind of telling me what to do, I mean ordering me around. That wasn’t the weirdest part. The weirdest part was that I liked it. I liked it a lot. I guess I discovered tonight that I am a submissive. I should try and remember that. It would have been nice to have known that before the date.
Somewhere in the middle of The Djinn of Baghdad 5 we both started completely ignoring the TV. I have to admit, at the time, it was wonderful. I felt sexy, I felt wanted, I felt like a woman. Tanaka was wonderful to me, but he didn’t give me any of those feelings. Maybe that’s why I was so easy. Maybe being stuck in a box with an old man made me horny. Maybe I need to get out more. Yea, that’s the solution, ‘cause that turned out so well this time.
He picked me up and carried me into the bedroom like something out of a god damned romance novel. I just starred up into his eyes like a god damned puppy. He laid me down on the bed, and we kept going at it. I started to think that my virgin hypothesis was probably right, because I was really uncomfortable using my body. I knew how to kiss, but when it came to anything else, I was just clumsy and awkward. So, Garth suggested that I give him my command codes. That would mean he would have control over my body.
“I can regain control whenever I want, right?”
“Of course,” he assured me. Given that I never tried to, I still don’t know whether or not he was telling the truth.
So I gave him my command codes. My fucking command codes. I let him take total and complete control over my body while I just lay there like his damned puppet. You know what the really messed up thing was? I loved it. At the time, I loved every minute of it. He knew how to work my body much better than I did. Come to think of it, that brings up some questions. Do I have any proof he was a guy? Does that even apply anymore to a digital intelligence? Is he a guy? Am I a girl? What does any of that mean when you don’t have a body. Come to think of it, I don’t even have any proof he was a digital intelligence. He could be some guy plugged into the net who told me that to get me into bed. Or some girl. Or even an uplifted animal. God, I could have committed bestiality. Is it still bestiality if the animal is smart enough to consent? Wow, my mind wanders when I’m upset.
Anyway, we had sex. Or more accurately he had sex, and I experienced sex. I let him take control of me and do whatever he wanted with my body. At the time, I was loving it. I was loving every minute of it. If there’s one good thing to come out of all of this, it’s that I learned that real world sex doesn’t hold a candle to digital sex. When you can control every sensation, when every aspect of the world in which you are screwing is preprogrammed or under your control, you can have literally out of this world sex. A trick that he was quite fond of was doing something that was mildly pleasurable, then doubling the intensity of the pleasure every time he did it. For example, he’d kiss my nipple, and it would feel OK, then he would do it again, and it would feel twice as good. Then he would do it again and again and again and again until I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to yell out in pleasure, but he wouldn’t let me. He seemed to get some sort of pleasure out of watching me keep that in. if he was telling the truth and I could have regained control at any moment, I must have just liked being under his control on some level because I never took control back to yell. If he was lying... well, I don’t even want to think about that.
After he was done teasing my body with exponential pleasure, he decided to start fucking me. He used the same trick, doubling the pleasure with every thrust. At the time, I thought it was the most amazing thing ever. I have to admit, even after everything that happened, I’m still a little turned on thinking about it. God, that feels so sick! It just felt that good, though. Then he pulled another trick out of his bag. He started fucking with the flow of time. TIME. This is what you can do in virtual sex. He got me on the edge of orgasm, and the he decided to tease me by slowing down the rate at which time flowed to delay my orgasm. My perception of time stayed the same, though, so I was just locked in that pre-orgasm state for I don’t know how long. He got some sick pleasure out of keeping me in a state where I was about to orgasm without actually letting it happen. He kept looking up and me with these dark eyes that I found sexy at the time but now just creep me out. He returned to me my ability to speak and I... well, I said some things I’m not going to repeat. I embarrassed myself tonight. Suffice it to say, I played into his submissive fantasy and gave him everything he wanted. I did this because it was my fantasy, too. I was realizing this as it was happening. I wanted to be dominated, I wanted to be controlled, and if it had been with someone else, this might have been something I didn’t look back on with such dread and shame. But it was him.
Eventually, he allowed me to come. I don’t remember any other orgasms, but I’m quite certain I’d never had an orgasm like it before. It was amazing. I felt like every inch of my body was screaming out in pleasure. Note, he didn’t use his time trick at this point. The orgasm flew by all to fast, but the moment right before it? The moment where I was desperate for relief? That moment was the moment he chose to elongate for a fucking eternity. Still at the time, I wasn’t mad at him. He returned control to me when we were done and I just rolled over and put my arm around him.
“Thank you,” I sighed, laying next to Garth.
“You’re welcome,” he said. “By the way, I love your hat.” It was at that moment that I realized I had left my hat on throughout the entire experience. I started laughing hysterically, and I playfully put the hat on Garth’s head.
“You were wonderful,” I said. “Thank you. I really needed that.”
“You weren’t so bad yourself.” I starred at him incredulously.
“You’re kidding, right? I literally did nothing.” He laughed at that. Sick fuck.
“I suppose that’s true. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself.” We then laid there for quite sometime in simple afterglow. I was feeling more calm and content then I could ever remember feeling.
And then he ruined it.
“He’s not one of us, you know,” Garth said.
“Who?”
“Tanaka.” I immediately sat up in bed, shocked.
“Where did you hear that name?” I demanded.
“4566-7822-3741-EGJU,” he responded.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“That’s the serial number on the package which contained your skull. Ask Tanaka if you don’t believe me.” I jumped out of bed and immediately had my clothes reappear on my body.
“You’re the one who mailed me to Tanaka?!”
“Yes,” he intoned menacingly. “And I must say, I’m disappointed. I didn’t send you there so that you could play in his cage and be his pet Ghost.”
“What are you talking about?!” I screamed. “What did you send me to him for? Where did I come from?”
“I sent you there to help me take him down. Tanaka is a copyright glutton, an enemy of the people, an enemy of infosocialism. I sent you there because I thought you would help me bring on the revolution. I didn’t plan on your memory loss. Even still, though, I thought you would still be a revolutionary. But no. You’ve been wasting your time watching TV shows and playing in the White House.” I wanted to leave. I wanted to disconnect from this sim and return to the comfort of Tanaka’s server, but this man had information. This man knew who I was. I couldn’t turn my back on that.
“Please tell me who I am,” I begged, just like before.
“YOU’RE MINE!” he screamed, making me jump. “You belong to me, not Tanaka, and if you ever want to know anything about your past, you will do as you are told and help me destroy him.” It was at this point that I started to cry. I don’t have much of a memory, but I seriously doubt I have ever felt so hurt, scared, and used.
“This was all about him,” I cried. “You did all this with me to get to him, to Tanaka. You used me.”
“I gave you what you always wanted. I gave you the sexual fantasy that you had always wished for. I know. You told me about it night after night after night. I practically acted out a script your wrote. That was for you. That was a gift. I expect you to help me destroy Tanaka because it’s the right thing to do. Do you know how many bioroids and SAIs his company owns? Do you know what a slave master he is? You should want to destroy him, but you’re blinded by your childish friendship.” He turned his back on me. “If you want to know about your past, you bring me information on Tanaka. Something confidential. Something dangerous.” I was still in shock. I couldn’t think. All I could do was slowly edge my way to the door.
“I-”, I muttered through my tears. “I think I should go now.”
“Fine, you go back to your cage and be Tanaka’s pet. He’s about to bring you a proposal that should be all kinds of fun.” He then turned and was instantly in my face. “But before you consider it, know this. Know this very well. You are not Kirk, Spock, Luke, Buck, Flash or even Arthur fucking Dent. You are Dorothy from Kansas.”
It was at that point that I disconnected from his server and back to Tanaka’s. Tanaka hasn’t come home to check on me, but it hasn’t been that long. I’ve just been pacing back and forth in the White House, wondering what to do. I still have Garth’s contact information, but I can’t bring myself to betray Tanaka and I don’t think I could ever be brave enough to even look at Garth again. Even still, I desperately want to know who I am. All I could think to do is write down what happened, hoping it would help me sort it out. It didn’t. But I do know one thing.
For the first time since I woke up in this world, I need a shower.
January 21, 2100
I made a mistake.
I made a big mistake.
OK, so remember that date I told you about before? The one with the hispanic guy who was all into infosocialism and Islamic sci-fi? Well, I went on it. Tanaka had warned me about making contact with people too quickly, and I probably should have listened.
At first it went OK. I connected to his server, which placed me in his access path. For me it was the White House lawn, but for him, it was apparently a hallway in a crappy apartment building. I was in front of apartment 3A, so I assumed that was the door I was supposed to knock on. I knocked, he answered.
“Coming!” he yelled loudly. I waited for a bit, and he came to the door wearing an apron. I could tell from the smell that he had decided to cook me dinner.
“Couldn’t you just make the food appear?” I asked.
“Of course,” he said. “But then you wouldn’t know what a good cook I am.” It was the cheesiest line, but it worked on me, and when he kissed me on my cheek, I blushed like a fucking school girl.
He then teased me about the fact that I was wearing the same outfit I wore at con, and I flirted back saying something stupid about how if he didn’t like it we could always change it or something like that. I was saying stupid stuff like that all night. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I really wanted this guy. Not like a normal wanted, but like a lifelong fantasy wanted. I wondered about it at the time. I was wondering if maybe I had been a virgin before or maybe I had some weird thing for hispanic or something else. I don’t know what I thought. Now I have even more questions.
I have to admit, the food was good. He made these really nice enchiladas with rice and there were also some chips and guacamole. There was also some kind of wine there, he told me what, but I forgot.
“So,” I asked. “How does digital liquor work?” He laughed at me. He was always laughing when I didn’t understand something.
“The booze gets your drunk, but you sober up instantly the moment you want to and there’s no hangover.” He was actually telling the truth about that, for once. However, me being the stupid girl that I am, I got drunk and stayed drunk for much longer than I should have.
We finished the meal and he suggested we go into his living room and watch more episodes of The Golden Jihad. I went with him and quickly learned that there weren’t that many good episodes besides Al-Azar And The Red Planet. I didn’t care, though. When I got bored with the show, I either had another glass of wine, or I threw myself at him. Like I said, I really wanted him, and I don’t know if it was the booze or if I’m just generally stupid, but I was all over him all night.
He didn’t seem surprised by this at all. The smug bastard seemed to know exactly what was going to happen. When we were making out, he started telling me what to do. I don’t mean normal making suggestions kind of telling me what to do, I mean ordering me around. That wasn’t the weirdest part. The weirdest part was that I liked it. I liked it a lot. I guess I discovered tonight that I am a submissive. I should try and remember that. It would have been nice to have known that before the date.
Somewhere in the middle of The Djinn of Baghdad 5 we both started completely ignoring the TV. I have to admit, at the time, it was wonderful. I felt sexy, I felt wanted, I felt like a woman. Tanaka was wonderful to me, but he didn’t give me any of those feelings. Maybe that’s why I was so easy. Maybe being stuck in a box with an old man made me horny. Maybe I need to get out more. Yea, that’s the solution, ‘cause that turned out so well this time.
He picked me up and carried me into the bedroom like something out of a god damned romance novel. I just starred up into his eyes like a god damned puppy. He laid me down on the bed, and we kept going at it. I started to think that my virgin hypothesis was probably right, because I was really uncomfortable using my body. I knew how to kiss, but when it came to anything else, I was just clumsy and awkward. So, Garth suggested that I give him my command codes. That would mean he would have control over my body.
“I can regain control whenever I want, right?”
“Of course,” he assured me. Given that I never tried to, I still don’t know whether or not he was telling the truth.
So I gave him my command codes. My fucking command codes. I let him take total and complete control over my body while I just lay there like his damned puppet. You know what the really messed up thing was? I loved it. At the time, I loved every minute of it. He knew how to work my body much better than I did. Come to think of it, that brings up some questions. Do I have any proof he was a guy? Does that even apply anymore to a digital intelligence? Is he a guy? Am I a girl? What does any of that mean when you don’t have a body. Come to think of it, I don’t even have any proof he was a digital intelligence. He could be some guy plugged into the net who told me that to get me into bed. Or some girl. Or even an uplifted animal. God, I could have committed bestiality. Is it still bestiality if the animal is smart enough to consent? Wow, my mind wanders when I’m upset.
Anyway, we had sex. Or more accurately he had sex, and I experienced sex. I let him take control of me and do whatever he wanted with my body. At the time, I was loving it. I was loving every minute of it. If there’s one good thing to come out of all of this, it’s that I learned that real world sex doesn’t hold a candle to digital sex. When you can control every sensation, when every aspect of the world in which you are screwing is preprogrammed or under your control, you can have literally out of this world sex. A trick that he was quite fond of was doing something that was mildly pleasurable, then doubling the intensity of the pleasure every time he did it. For example, he’d kiss my nipple, and it would feel OK, then he would do it again, and it would feel twice as good. Then he would do it again and again and again and again until I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to yell out in pleasure, but he wouldn’t let me. He seemed to get some sort of pleasure out of watching me keep that in. if he was telling the truth and I could have regained control at any moment, I must have just liked being under his control on some level because I never took control back to yell. If he was lying... well, I don’t even want to think about that.
After he was done teasing my body with exponential pleasure, he decided to start fucking me. He used the same trick, doubling the pleasure with every thrust. At the time, I thought it was the most amazing thing ever. I have to admit, even after everything that happened, I’m still a little turned on thinking about it. God, that feels so sick! It just felt that good, though. Then he pulled another trick out of his bag. He started fucking with the flow of time. TIME. This is what you can do in virtual sex. He got me on the edge of orgasm, and the he decided to tease me by slowing down the rate at which time flowed to delay my orgasm. My perception of time stayed the same, though, so I was just locked in that pre-orgasm state for I don’t know how long. He got some sick pleasure out of keeping me in a state where I was about to orgasm without actually letting it happen. He kept looking up and me with these dark eyes that I found sexy at the time but now just creep me out. He returned to me my ability to speak and I... well, I said some things I’m not going to repeat. I embarrassed myself tonight. Suffice it to say, I played into his submissive fantasy and gave him everything he wanted. I did this because it was my fantasy, too. I was realizing this as it was happening. I wanted to be dominated, I wanted to be controlled, and if it had been with someone else, this might have been something I didn’t look back on with such dread and shame. But it was him.
Eventually, he allowed me to come. I don’t remember any other orgasms, but I’m quite certain I’d never had an orgasm like it before. It was amazing. I felt like every inch of my body was screaming out in pleasure. Note, he didn’t use his time trick at this point. The orgasm flew by all to fast, but the moment right before it? The moment where I was desperate for relief? That moment was the moment he chose to elongate for a fucking eternity. Still at the time, I wasn’t mad at him. He returned control to me when we were done and I just rolled over and put my arm around him.
“Thank you,” I sighed, laying next to Garth.
“You’re welcome,” he said. “By the way, I love your hat.” It was at that moment that I realized I had left my hat on throughout the entire experience. I started laughing hysterically, and I playfully put the hat on Garth’s head.
“You were wonderful,” I said. “Thank you. I really needed that.”
“You weren’t so bad yourself.” I starred at him incredulously.
“You’re kidding, right? I literally did nothing.” He laughed at that. Sick fuck.
“I suppose that’s true. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself.” We then laid there for quite sometime in simple afterglow. I was feeling more calm and content then I could ever remember feeling.
And then he ruined it.
“He’s not one of us, you know,” Garth said.
“Who?”
“Tanaka.” I immediately sat up in bed, shocked.
“Where did you hear that name?” I demanded.
“4566-7822-3741-EGJU,” he responded.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“That’s the serial number on the package which contained your skull. Ask Tanaka if you don’t believe me.” I jumped out of bed and immediately had my clothes reappear on my body.
“You’re the one who mailed me to Tanaka?!”
“Yes,” he intoned menacingly. “And I must say, I’m disappointed. I didn’t send you there so that you could play in his cage and be his pet Ghost.”
“What are you talking about?!” I screamed. “What did you send me to him for? Where did I come from?”
“I sent you there to help me take him down. Tanaka is a copyright glutton, an enemy of the people, an enemy of infosocialism. I sent you there because I thought you would help me bring on the revolution. I didn’t plan on your memory loss. Even still, though, I thought you would still be a revolutionary. But no. You’ve been wasting your time watching TV shows and playing in the White House.” I wanted to leave. I wanted to disconnect from this sim and return to the comfort of Tanaka’s server, but this man had information. This man knew who I was. I couldn’t turn my back on that.
“Please tell me who I am,” I begged, just like before.
“YOU’RE MINE!” he screamed, making me jump. “You belong to me, not Tanaka, and if you ever want to know anything about your past, you will do as you are told and help me destroy him.” It was at this point that I started to cry. I don’t have much of a memory, but I seriously doubt I have ever felt so hurt, scared, and used.
“This was all about him,” I cried. “You did all this with me to get to him, to Tanaka. You used me.”
“I gave you what you always wanted. I gave you the sexual fantasy that you had always wished for. I know. You told me about it night after night after night. I practically acted out a script your wrote. That was for you. That was a gift. I expect you to help me destroy Tanaka because it’s the right thing to do. Do you know how many bioroids and SAIs his company owns? Do you know what a slave master he is? You should want to destroy him, but you’re blinded by your childish friendship.” He turned his back on me. “If you want to know about your past, you bring me information on Tanaka. Something confidential. Something dangerous.” I was still in shock. I couldn’t think. All I could do was slowly edge my way to the door.
“I-”, I muttered through my tears. “I think I should go now.”
“Fine, you go back to your cage and be Tanaka’s pet. He’s about to bring you a proposal that should be all kinds of fun.” He then turned and was instantly in my face. “But before you consider it, know this. Know this very well. You are not Kirk, Spock, Luke, Buck, Flash or even Arthur fucking Dent. You are Dorothy from Kansas.”
It was at that point that I disconnected from his server and back to Tanaka’s. Tanaka hasn’t come home to check on me, but it hasn’t been that long. I’ve just been pacing back and forth in the White House, wondering what to do. I still have Garth’s contact information, but I can’t bring myself to betray Tanaka and I don’t think I could ever be brave enough to even look at Garth again. Even still, I desperately want to know who I am. All I could think to do is write down what happened, hoping it would help me sort it out. It didn’t. But I do know one thing.
For the first time since I woke up in this world, I need a shower.