ATTENTION CANOOKS
Dear Canadian Friends,
I have left messages with a number of you but no one is calling me back. I realize you are all probably super busy and that you are not really phone people, but I miss you all terribly and I can't afford to buy a plane ticket just to go drinking with you all. I want to talk to my canooks ASAP. It's been months since I've heard an "eh" said in genuine earnest. I've been watching the election down here and it's not parliamentary AT ALL. I haven't been drunk in months. MONTHS. I realize you all think of me as a badass writing genius with a massive cock and a rapier wit who needs no one because he's a devil-may-care maverick with nothing to loose and also he rides a motorcycle and loves kittens but can't tell anyone because that would breaks his tough guy facade, but when I'm missing you wonderful people, I turn into a sad, pathetic, whiny, doughy marshmallow man who still has a pretty big cock and loves kittens but is now totally open about it. Call me and lessen my canook withdrawal.
P.S. I blogged this pathetic plea for attention while totally and 100% sober. That is how bad I miss you.
I have left messages with a number of you but no one is calling me back. I realize you are all probably super busy and that you are not really phone people, but I miss you all terribly and I can't afford to buy a plane ticket just to go drinking with you all. I want to talk to my canooks ASAP. It's been months since I've heard an "eh" said in genuine earnest. I've been watching the election down here and it's not parliamentary AT ALL. I haven't been drunk in months. MONTHS. I realize you all think of me as a badass writing genius with a massive cock and a rapier wit who needs no one because he's a devil-may-care maverick with nothing to loose and also he rides a motorcycle and loves kittens but can't tell anyone because that would breaks his tough guy facade, but when I'm missing you wonderful people, I turn into a sad, pathetic, whiny, doughy marshmallow man who still has a pretty big cock and loves kittens but is now totally open about it. Call me and lessen my canook withdrawal.
P.S. I blogged this pathetic plea for attention while totally and 100% sober. That is how bad I miss you.