What's Your Ethnic Background? The answer might surprise you...
OK, so I'm watching an episode of "The Colbert Report" that I recorded while I was away, and he has on this woman, Debra J. Dickerson, who says that Barak Obama isn't really black, because he's not descended from former slaves. Never mind the fact that he's still visibly black, and I'm certain he had to still put up with prejudice, since not even racists can tell your genealogy by looking at you, he's apparently not black. This line of reasoning annoyed me, and I've decided to Jonathan Swift this. You know, "A Modest Proposal"? Following a crazy train of logic to it's logical, yet absurd conclusion? So, here I go.
I was thinking about this, and I don't think I'm white anymore. If you have to be a descendant of slaves to be black, then it seems to follow to me that you have to be a descendant of ENSLAVERS to be white. It just makes sense. However, I come from Irish stock. My people totally got the short end of the stick when it came to European domination, we never got to dominate anyone. Never mind the fact that by looking white I avoid all the trials and tribulations of being a minority, apparently, because of my particular background, I'm not white. I thought I was white, because my skin is pale and cops call me sir, but I guess I'm not. I don't know what I am, but I'm not white. I have a friend up here in Canada, Nadine, who LOOKS black, but her father was an immigrant too, so I guess she's not black. Man, she is gonna be so annoyed when she finds out that all the people who were discriminating against her were just mistaken! I'm thinking I'll get together with her tomorrow and we can figure out what race we are. Maybe we'll turn out to be the same one, and we can have some kind of pride party! You know, unless it turns out we're white.
Anyway, everyone who reads this, please help me Jonathan Swift this. Everyone who can, please post a reason why you are not the race that you appear to be using this train of crazy ass logic.
P.S. Paul, unfortunately, I don't think you can get in on this. You told me you had relatives who fought for the Nazis in World War II. I don't think there's any way around you being white. Sorry, man.
I was thinking about this, and I don't think I'm white anymore. If you have to be a descendant of slaves to be black, then it seems to follow to me that you have to be a descendant of ENSLAVERS to be white. It just makes sense. However, I come from Irish stock. My people totally got the short end of the stick when it came to European domination, we never got to dominate anyone. Never mind the fact that by looking white I avoid all the trials and tribulations of being a minority, apparently, because of my particular background, I'm not white. I thought I was white, because my skin is pale and cops call me sir, but I guess I'm not. I don't know what I am, but I'm not white. I have a friend up here in Canada, Nadine, who LOOKS black, but her father was an immigrant too, so I guess she's not black. Man, she is gonna be so annoyed when she finds out that all the people who were discriminating against her were just mistaken! I'm thinking I'll get together with her tomorrow and we can figure out what race we are. Maybe we'll turn out to be the same one, and we can have some kind of pride party! You know, unless it turns out we're white.
Anyway, everyone who reads this, please help me Jonathan Swift this. Everyone who can, please post a reason why you are not the race that you appear to be using this train of crazy ass logic.
P.S. Paul, unfortunately, I don't think you can get in on this. You told me you had relatives who fought for the Nazis in World War II. I don't think there's any way around you being white. Sorry, man.