The adventures of buddy love goh
I'm blogging about this so that I'll always remember 16 October and my dog's crazy antics that make it even harder for all of us to say goodbye. I think I've prepped myself mentally multiple times that this day might come and when it happened i would be devastated but strong but devastated. Well, at least a part of my guess was right, I am completely and utterly devastated.
Buddy's passing was sudden, unanticipated and quiet. He was young and very much missing my mum who's overseas. Before he passed, he moved himself to the back of the main door as none of us were home except wati. I had just left for an hour so that he could rest properly as he was having a bacterial infection and wouldn't sleep when i was home.
Long story short, he died from asphyxiation pneumonia. If you, like me, don't understand medical jargon, it effectively means he choked on his own vomit and it went down his wind pipe resulting in pneumonia. A cause common to those inebriated and choke on their own vomit.
The hardest thing is being at home and wishing that he was here. I'd kill to hear the pitter patter of his feet or his wet nose barging into my face disregarding the fact that I've still yet to recover with an unstable jaw.
For all those who know and or knew me and or met buds or even heard about him, you would know that he was my best friend and what I always thought to be the best thing to ever happen to me. He was sizeable, annoying and never once cared for any of us - but he had too much character and attitude to not miss and his pretense of not caring was often masked by the fact that he would sit by the door and wait for us to come home, or sit at the window and stare out on the lookout for us.. or for the fact that he would alternate between sleeping in my parents room and my room every other night.
Long story short, buddy was the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm not quite sure how I can move on without his smell, insistence on being carried like a small child and general nosiness into everything and anything.
I always imagined that it would feel like a heart break, that someone broke me into two when buddy left. And it's true, this has got to be the worst heart break I've ever felt or could ever imagine.
For the uninitiated, I got buddy on 21st May 2008 and I was so excited to meet him i couldn't focus at all the whole day in school and even though he was disruptive and noisy I couldn't let go of him the moment we got him.
I stayed in Singapore to study partly because I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him here with all his zhezhes away and how crazy that would drive the sentimental Blenheim fellow. I am extremely relieved I didn't and that I got to spend a good amount of time cuddling him and spoiling him to death as most people would know.
To the surprise of no one or to some, I also did horrendously in my first year of law school and it was a struggle for my pride and for myself to pull myself through an academic route that for the first time felt like a barrier I couldn't cross. I never told anyone because it was too embarrassing but I pushed my way through it and graduated with an honours I never thought I could get, and neither did my interviewers thought i would get, because I wanted to work hard and one day buy a nice plot of land so that buddy could age comfortably with tonnes of space and love and well all the medical assistance or food he might ever need or dream of.
To those who never met buds but heard about him, He had a multitude of skin problems and had been suffering from them for a while. It pained me to see him scratch his eyes til they bled and his skin was constantly sore and shedding. In a way, I'm glad that he's relieved of all this pain and of the damn cone he started using to hit people either to get their attention or to get them out of the way.
To the completely not-in-the-know, buds was a cavoodle and he came from melbourne. His birthday is on 24 February 2008 and he was only 5 years and 8 months when he left - nothing more than a baby as my sister would say. He became part of the family very soon, very much by force - my mother never liked dogs, and buddy pretty much forced his way into her life by constantly pooping and peeing at her bedside until she finally accepted his cuddles, licks and love and then he was finally satisfied. Not for long though, he soon found out that she was the softest in the family and regularly bullied her into giving him her breakfast, bak kwa and everything he wanted.
My dog was extremely greedy, sans his last 2 days when he wasn't feeling well, he ate like his life depended on it and nothing was a barrier to him. As a puppy, he climbed onto the table using the arm of the sofa chair on his first chinese new year to eat his way through long trays of pineapple tarts. He loved when we had parties because he would lick chocolate ice cream off the rubbish bags. He also loved it when I baked because he found a way to flip trays over and consume everything the moment we were out of sight - he was a pretty smart delinquent.
He also loved to be carried, like a human child and that to him was known as "baobao" - in chinese that means hug hug. He hated most other dogs, strongly disliked children and had a strong liking for some and a strong disliking for others - sometimes for no apparent reason at all. But for the family, he loved us all and we loved him to death too. Many thought and strongly believed that I coddled my dog too much or that he was too terribly spoilt - the reality is, that he was. He was terribly, terribly and infamously spoilt. Unfortunately, I am an unrepentant soul and I'm glad I had spoilt him, I'm glad I had loved him, i'm glad I had let him sleep beside me and most importantly, I'm glad I made the weird decision of staying in Singapore to be his zhezhe and as many would know.. i prioritised him above everything else, probably even my own relationships.
Luckily, Mark has been an amazing helping hand although I know hes devastated himself. Buddy for some strange reason took a strong liking to mark when he first met him in October/ November 2009. Mark on the other hand didn't like dogs very much but decided to suck up to him by buying him an array of treats every time he met him the first few times he came over. Not long, as with my mother, buddy forced mark to love him and as the story goes.. buds always succeeds. Mark's distraught and if you meet him please send him your condolences as much as you send them to me.
In many ways, I feel lucky for having had buds in my life and for knowing that he had loved me just as much. I'm also glad I wasn't overseas when he passed on and that I've so many people around me supporting me during this terribly difficult time. Unlike poor wati who is grieving terribly but has little comfort and mark who's trying hard to be strong for me or my mum who's still in Italy or even Sam who's bawling her eyes out down under. I wish I was as strong as my dad, who could focus his attention on the reality that buds is now relieved of all suffering and itch woes - and as sudden as his death was, he never had to go through the torture of cancer or anything of that sort. I know that if you chanced upon this post without really having read or met me you might think I'm a complete nutter - especially if a close family member of yours has passed and in comparison buds is but a dog. But the thing is, buds was so awfully weird that he became my best friend and my closest companion and the reality is nothing is going to be the same without him. As cliched as it sounds, the good die young and I truly hope that be the case. Because Buds was full of goodness and brought nothing but happiness and annoyance to me.
Long story short (once again)
Buds will be cremated on Monday at 2pm at Mount Pleasant Whitley road (opposite tanglin cc)
If anybody would like, you can come with a tiger lily - that was his favourite as a puppy, he used to stick his tiny head into the huge flower and sniff at the pollen until he sneezed himself out.
Whatever it is, it's been a fantastic 5 years and 5 month that I've had buds and I only wish that it could have lasted longer. But I do believe that God has his plans, and whatever it is, Buds was part of it and continues to be that lingering presence in our lives because he was so darn nosy and noisy all the time.
To my little singing sweetheart, I miss you so very much and yesterday and today were extremely hard to get through. I unfortuna4tely cannot imagine that it's going to get easier but I'd like to believe that it will.
Please keep us all in your prayers and especially poor buds - because even if he was in doggy heaven he didn't like other dogs very much and always looked forward to coming home. I'm sorry for always forcing him to socialize but I really had his best interests at heart.
I'll see you soon buds and in the mean time be good. I promise I'll baobao you one day again and I'll always dream of you by my side just like i did last night.
So here's the buds, feb 2008 ~ October 2013, much love and kisses and we'll miss you very very much.
I'm going to miss you sweetie
Buddy's passing was sudden, unanticipated and quiet. He was young and very much missing my mum who's overseas. Before he passed, he moved himself to the back of the main door as none of us were home except wati. I had just left for an hour so that he could rest properly as he was having a bacterial infection and wouldn't sleep when i was home.
Long story short, he died from asphyxiation pneumonia. If you, like me, don't understand medical jargon, it effectively means he choked on his own vomit and it went down his wind pipe resulting in pneumonia. A cause common to those inebriated and choke on their own vomit.
The hardest thing is being at home and wishing that he was here. I'd kill to hear the pitter patter of his feet or his wet nose barging into my face disregarding the fact that I've still yet to recover with an unstable jaw.
For all those who know and or knew me and or met buds or even heard about him, you would know that he was my best friend and what I always thought to be the best thing to ever happen to me. He was sizeable, annoying and never once cared for any of us - but he had too much character and attitude to not miss and his pretense of not caring was often masked by the fact that he would sit by the door and wait for us to come home, or sit at the window and stare out on the lookout for us.. or for the fact that he would alternate between sleeping in my parents room and my room every other night.
Long story short, buddy was the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm not quite sure how I can move on without his smell, insistence on being carried like a small child and general nosiness into everything and anything.
I always imagined that it would feel like a heart break, that someone broke me into two when buddy left. And it's true, this has got to be the worst heart break I've ever felt or could ever imagine.
For the uninitiated, I got buddy on 21st May 2008 and I was so excited to meet him i couldn't focus at all the whole day in school and even though he was disruptive and noisy I couldn't let go of him the moment we got him.
I stayed in Singapore to study partly because I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him here with all his zhezhes away and how crazy that would drive the sentimental Blenheim fellow. I am extremely relieved I didn't and that I got to spend a good amount of time cuddling him and spoiling him to death as most people would know.
To the surprise of no one or to some, I also did horrendously in my first year of law school and it was a struggle for my pride and for myself to pull myself through an academic route that for the first time felt like a barrier I couldn't cross. I never told anyone because it was too embarrassing but I pushed my way through it and graduated with an honours I never thought I could get, and neither did my interviewers thought i would get, because I wanted to work hard and one day buy a nice plot of land so that buddy could age comfortably with tonnes of space and love and well all the medical assistance or food he might ever need or dream of.
To those who never met buds but heard about him, He had a multitude of skin problems and had been suffering from them for a while. It pained me to see him scratch his eyes til they bled and his skin was constantly sore and shedding. In a way, I'm glad that he's relieved of all this pain and of the damn cone he started using to hit people either to get their attention or to get them out of the way.
To the completely not-in-the-know, buds was a cavoodle and he came from melbourne. His birthday is on 24 February 2008 and he was only 5 years and 8 months when he left - nothing more than a baby as my sister would say. He became part of the family very soon, very much by force - my mother never liked dogs, and buddy pretty much forced his way into her life by constantly pooping and peeing at her bedside until she finally accepted his cuddles, licks and love and then he was finally satisfied. Not for long though, he soon found out that she was the softest in the family and regularly bullied her into giving him her breakfast, bak kwa and everything he wanted.
My dog was extremely greedy, sans his last 2 days when he wasn't feeling well, he ate like his life depended on it and nothing was a barrier to him. As a puppy, he climbed onto the table using the arm of the sofa chair on his first chinese new year to eat his way through long trays of pineapple tarts. He loved when we had parties because he would lick chocolate ice cream off the rubbish bags. He also loved it when I baked because he found a way to flip trays over and consume everything the moment we were out of sight - he was a pretty smart delinquent.
He also loved to be carried, like a human child and that to him was known as "baobao" - in chinese that means hug hug. He hated most other dogs, strongly disliked children and had a strong liking for some and a strong disliking for others - sometimes for no apparent reason at all. But for the family, he loved us all and we loved him to death too. Many thought and strongly believed that I coddled my dog too much or that he was too terribly spoilt - the reality is, that he was. He was terribly, terribly and infamously spoilt. Unfortunately, I am an unrepentant soul and I'm glad I had spoilt him, I'm glad I had loved him, i'm glad I had let him sleep beside me and most importantly, I'm glad I made the weird decision of staying in Singapore to be his zhezhe and as many would know.. i prioritised him above everything else, probably even my own relationships.
Luckily, Mark has been an amazing helping hand although I know hes devastated himself. Buddy for some strange reason took a strong liking to mark when he first met him in October/ November 2009. Mark on the other hand didn't like dogs very much but decided to suck up to him by buying him an array of treats every time he met him the first few times he came over. Not long, as with my mother, buddy forced mark to love him and as the story goes.. buds always succeeds. Mark's distraught and if you meet him please send him your condolences as much as you send them to me.
In many ways, I feel lucky for having had buds in my life and for knowing that he had loved me just as much. I'm also glad I wasn't overseas when he passed on and that I've so many people around me supporting me during this terribly difficult time. Unlike poor wati who is grieving terribly but has little comfort and mark who's trying hard to be strong for me or my mum who's still in Italy or even Sam who's bawling her eyes out down under. I wish I was as strong as my dad, who could focus his attention on the reality that buds is now relieved of all suffering and itch woes - and as sudden as his death was, he never had to go through the torture of cancer or anything of that sort. I know that if you chanced upon this post without really having read or met me you might think I'm a complete nutter - especially if a close family member of yours has passed and in comparison buds is but a dog. But the thing is, buds was so awfully weird that he became my best friend and my closest companion and the reality is nothing is going to be the same without him. As cliched as it sounds, the good die young and I truly hope that be the case. Because Buds was full of goodness and brought nothing but happiness and annoyance to me.
Long story short (once again)
Buds will be cremated on Monday at 2pm at Mount Pleasant Whitley road (opposite tanglin cc)
If anybody would like, you can come with a tiger lily - that was his favourite as a puppy, he used to stick his tiny head into the huge flower and sniff at the pollen until he sneezed himself out.
Whatever it is, it's been a fantastic 5 years and 5 month that I've had buds and I only wish that it could have lasted longer. But I do believe that God has his plans, and whatever it is, Buds was part of it and continues to be that lingering presence in our lives because he was so darn nosy and noisy all the time.
To my little singing sweetheart, I miss you so very much and yesterday and today were extremely hard to get through. I unfortuna4tely cannot imagine that it's going to get easier but I'd like to believe that it will.
Please keep us all in your prayers and especially poor buds - because even if he was in doggy heaven he didn't like other dogs very much and always looked forward to coming home. I'm sorry for always forcing him to socialize but I really had his best interests at heart.
I'll see you soon buds and in the mean time be good. I promise I'll baobao you one day again and I'll always dream of you by my side just like i did last night.
So here's the buds, feb 2008 ~ October 2013, much love and kisses and we'll miss you very very much.
I'm going to miss you sweetie