Memory [drabble]
Title: Memory
Warning: death
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Tao’s toes grasp at the edge, almost as if instinctively. He hates the way his body does this; it holds on, clinging for life. Tao wishes it would just give up.
Tao had given up.
He doesn’t remember when he snapped. Between losing his family and losing his best friend, things sort of got cloudy. In fact, he doesn’t remember anything. He’s trained himself his entire life to forget. To never latch on to something he knows will not remain. To never let his emotions get out of his control.
That’s why he doesn’t remember why the black and green bruises cover his body; some so sensitive they seemed to be seeping blood. He doesn’t remember why his eyes throb or why his throat catches. He doesn’t remember why he’s barefoot or why there’s mud in his hair or blood on his hands. He doesn’t remember why he’s on the top floor of his old, empty apartment complex.
He smiles suddenly into the stinging winter breeze, feeling his lips crack, and he tastes blood. The wind threads itself through his dirty hair like icy fingertips. Familiar fingertips. Familiar hands and lips and-
Tao suddenly feels content with the way the city moves beneath him. He feels like he’s on top of the world. It doesn’t really matter how he got here or what’s happened, all that matters is that everything is okay. Everything will be okay.
He watches the warm glow of the city beneath him for a few moments, making it last as long as he could before he had to leave. They’d need him somewhere, soon.
Tao’s toes curl around the edge of the brick. It reminds him of those fingers…
Tao is no longer on the roof of his old, empty apartment complex. He feels warm arms slip around him and pull him into the chest of someone even warmer. The world stirs around him; whispering in his ears and brushing against his skin. He feels light, like he’s floating. Maybe he is.
“Everything will be okay,” Kris whispers in his ear, and he smiles.
Tao forgets this, and he forgets the feeling of his toes curled around the edge of the roof of the apartment complex as he’s taken off his feet.
Death, he finds, is like the cold shudder of goosebumps on a late winter night.