(no subject)
So I stopped biting my nails like a month ago, or thereabouts, because it's a nasty nervous habit, according to The World or Miss Manners.
Do I miss it? Sure. I'm a lot hungrier on average, but there's like 16 other things my body produces that I can eat instead. I'll just have to figure out a way of harvesting those in public that won't get me arrested. Or a really creepy date.
Instead of bloody, chewed stumps at the end of my hands, I have fucking tiny shovels that constantly fill themselves with whatever deadly poisons or biohazards I've handled on any given day? AWESOME.
Or should I say tiny syringes? Because they fucking cut me all the time, too. If there's anything I learned in elementary school, other than pizza = good, it's that nails are sharp as hell. I'm not sure if I just pissed girls off a lot or what, but I got clawed and kicked in the shins by them SO MUCH. So I'm well aware of fingernails' skin-puncturing capabilities. So now, if my back itches and I scratch it, HOORAY, all the bullshit underneath my nails just got directly placed into my bloodstream, since my nails carved me up like a Christmas goose.
I handle bullshit all fucking day.
Do I miss it? Sure. I'm a lot hungrier on average, but there's like 16 other things my body produces that I can eat instead. I'll just have to figure out a way of harvesting those in public that won't get me arrested. Or a really creepy date.
Instead of bloody, chewed stumps at the end of my hands, I have fucking tiny shovels that constantly fill themselves with whatever deadly poisons or biohazards I've handled on any given day? AWESOME.
Or should I say tiny syringes? Because they fucking cut me all the time, too. If there's anything I learned in elementary school, other than pizza = good, it's that nails are sharp as hell. I'm not sure if I just pissed girls off a lot or what, but I got clawed and kicked in the shins by them SO MUCH. So I'm well aware of fingernails' skin-puncturing capabilities. So now, if my back itches and I scratch it, HOORAY, all the bullshit underneath my nails just got directly placed into my bloodstream, since my nails carved me up like a Christmas goose.
I handle bullshit all fucking day.