(no subject)
i'm fucking sick of being the only one with any kind of fucking interest... i'm sick of being the so-called "ringleader" (which is why i disliked the title of it in the first place, that and because wanting/needing control makes me feel disgusting) and i'm sick of convincing other people to do crazy things and i'm sick of being the last one to really follow through on some plan.. cause you're saying it would be sweet, i'm saying it WILL be sweet. why do i feel like the only one who's not content to JUST daydream and follow other people's ideas?
wake the fuck up.
anyways i haven't been writing in this because i've got too much to say. too many things happening and too many amazing moments and too many revelations in the past week or two.
and because i'm going to start over in a new livejournal, once i think of a new name, or once i stop caring about the name. it's always been kind of symbolic to me, i guess, if i'm starting a new narrative. some phase of my life has just ended, and new things are to come. and it's hard to see myself ever going back. really, once you're no longer ignorant about things, you CAN'T just go back to how it was before you were aware of it. (we can't go back - it's a promise.)
i'm way too excited to die.
wake the fuck up.
anyways i haven't been writing in this because i've got too much to say. too many things happening and too many amazing moments and too many revelations in the past week or two.
and because i'm going to start over in a new livejournal, once i think of a new name, or once i stop caring about the name. it's always been kind of symbolic to me, i guess, if i'm starting a new narrative. some phase of my life has just ended, and new things are to come. and it's hard to see myself ever going back. really, once you're no longer ignorant about things, you CAN'T just go back to how it was before you were aware of it. (we can't go back - it's a promise.)
i'm way too excited to die.