Tenipuri - SaeFuji - 30_kisses #6
meme stolen from nightfallrising, who did an amazing job for hakkai/gonou/tenpou from saiyuki. much as i tried, i could not come up with something canonically inherently angsty for saeki. nor should he be angsty, being his birthday and all. so angsthints, as well as saefuji hints because i need desperately to get my thirty kisses done. ehehe.
title: lackadaisy
pairing: mild saefuji
challenge: #6:the space btwn dream and reality
rating: pg13 for small mentions of sex
twenty things saeki thinks about, alone at night and falling fast towards sleep
1. The bed in Saeki's room is still a bunk: remains of reminders and regrets that still remember when he had friends. Pause. The covers are 1000-thread-count, imported. Washed every third day by none other than yours truly.
There are two explanations for their softness; Saeki thinks it's the detergent.
2. Two nights out of three Saeki will fall asleep thinking of girls. One of those two nights, the girl will be Yumiko, in her bathing suit, lounging in a jacuzzi in the middle of Chiba's only rock beach. Girls from school alternate through the other night wearing various clothing with various colors that Saeki forgets the moment he wakes. The last is not a girl. One night a week, Saeki wakes uncomfortably, and takes a cold shower.
3. Saeki doesn't sleep on big occasions: his birthday, Christmas, St. White's day. The phone attached to his ear is usually a good reason, and their conversations go sort of like this:
Hi.
Hi.
How have you been?
Fine, thanks.
You haven't called me.
No, it's been busy over here.
I called you.
I know.
You didn't pick up.
I was busy.
Oh?
Tezuka.
And then they move on.
4. The guitar sitting in the far corner is an old present, his father to him before his father died and his mother cried tears that appeared on Saeki's cheeks. He's considered picking up music several times, but the last time he tried to sing, he woke up in the hospital.
5. He plays tennis with the hope that he's just a late bloomer, but he knows that's not the case.
6. Thoughts in Saeki's head usually flow in jumbles of valleys and peaks. What have I not done today flows into shit I forgot to call Ryou and a reminder of to eat chocolate; he'll end up with crepe paper at twelve midnight and no one to tar. It's all perfectly logical to him.
He wrote down his thought process once, and it went something like this:
food - kaasan - sukiyaki - sweethearts - am i? - valentine's - pink - chocolates - mints - where to? - soon - panic - relax - breathe in out in - fuji.
7. When he was six, Saeki was placed in the hospital. Broken arm, broken leg and Saeki didn't cry while they set his limbs without anesthetic because the hospital was fresh out. (They did, but it still hurt; it sounds better to say they didn't anyway.)
Those four weeks in the hospital were perhaps the best he had had. Takeout, every night. Visitors, every day. And every lunch, Fuji would ditch school to feed him bland rice and bland smiles while Saeki pretended to swoon.
It wasn't bad, until his skin began to chafe.
8. Homework flows past nine on rare nights when Saeki bothers doing everything that isn't immediately obvious; mostly, he figures homework isn't worth it if you're not a genius.
9. Oyasumi, says Saeki to his teddy every night before he falls asleep.
Oyasumi, replies his teddy and then there is.
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
Ne, his teddy asks him. Are you going to sleep?
Don't think so, he says.
How was your day? his teddy asks.
Ah.
Oh?
Eh.
He called while you were gone.
Oh?
Does that make it better?
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
It does.
And he goes to sleep with a smile on his face.
10. Half the scenes in his head are imagined, but it is all the same to him.
11. He tries not to touch on the deeper issues before he sleeps; they give him nightmares. Questions about his inadequacy and what the hell he'll do with his life when Fuji goes to college or how he'll get into college with his grades the way they are and what he's going to do with his life and maybe he'll go to America.
He tries not to think about what he should be doing; fighting the good fight and giving up gracefully because in those stars he's long passed supernova and if there's another life (another chance?) after all of this where he can be better stronger quicker just better. He should be sleeping.
He tries not to think before he goes to sleep; the hormones are just safer.
12. Saeki wishes he could be like that.
13. He gets ten hours nightly, not because he needs it but because it's easier.
14. Sometimes, he fantasizes about [rock]stardom. Everything would come easier that way - the drugs, the money, the sex. (Fuji.) But mostly the sex.
15. There is always classical music in the background, pouring out of some hole he hasn't discovered yet and isn't quite sure he wants to. It plays Pachebel's Canon four times more than any other song, which doesn't bother him but is mildly curious.
He only stops to think when he finds Fuji has the same ring tone.
16. Saeki has recurring nightmares (and wet dreams, but those aren't quite as unpleasant). There is the one with the dinosaur. The one with the helicopter. World decimation. Homicidal tendencies. Car accidents. Surfing accidents, which result in broken necks and quadriplegic sentences. And then there's the one where he sees someone's back.
That's the saddest one of all.
17. If I don't make it, he says to the radio.
(know that I loved you all along)
18. Hi, he says.
Hi, he says.
Happy birthday, he says.
Thank you, he says.
Sixteen, he says.
Yeah, he says.
Huh.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
At all?
No.
Company?
Never.
Lonely?
Only for you.
Look outside.
For a moment, Saeki wonders what would happen if he didn't look.
19. Saeki thinks that if Fuji had not moved, they would have fallen in love.
Saeki thinks that if Fuji moved back, they would fall in love.
Saeki thinks that if Fuji will give him a chance, they will fall in love.
20. Happy birthday, says Fuji. He plops a present on Saeki's lap, inviting him to open it with eager eyes that are oddly bruised and black. (Saeki doesn't ask - things happen, he knows, when you are emotional.)
I think you'll enjoy it, Fuji says. Saeki pays more attention to Fuji than the box.
Oh, says Fuji sitting on the bed. You still have my sheets.
Saeki smiles.
mmm. not quite sure about that ending. the first 20meme was supposed to be d1 or muromachi touji, but being sae's bday and all...well. XD; anyway. off to work on the other two. ._.
title: lackadaisy
pairing: mild saefuji
challenge: #6:the space btwn dream and reality
rating: pg13 for small mentions of sex
twenty things saeki thinks about, alone at night and falling fast towards sleep
1. The bed in Saeki's room is still a bunk: remains of reminders and regrets that still remember when he had friends. Pause. The covers are 1000-thread-count, imported. Washed every third day by none other than yours truly.
There are two explanations for their softness; Saeki thinks it's the detergent.
2. Two nights out of three Saeki will fall asleep thinking of girls. One of those two nights, the girl will be Yumiko, in her bathing suit, lounging in a jacuzzi in the middle of Chiba's only rock beach. Girls from school alternate through the other night wearing various clothing with various colors that Saeki forgets the moment he wakes. The last is not a girl. One night a week, Saeki wakes uncomfortably, and takes a cold shower.
3. Saeki doesn't sleep on big occasions: his birthday, Christmas, St. White's day. The phone attached to his ear is usually a good reason, and their conversations go sort of like this:
Hi.
Hi.
How have you been?
Fine, thanks.
You haven't called me.
No, it's been busy over here.
I called you.
I know.
You didn't pick up.
I was busy.
Oh?
Tezuka.
And then they move on.
4. The guitar sitting in the far corner is an old present, his father to him before his father died and his mother cried tears that appeared on Saeki's cheeks. He's considered picking up music several times, but the last time he tried to sing, he woke up in the hospital.
5. He plays tennis with the hope that he's just a late bloomer, but he knows that's not the case.
6. Thoughts in Saeki's head usually flow in jumbles of valleys and peaks. What have I not done today flows into shit I forgot to call Ryou and a reminder of to eat chocolate; he'll end up with crepe paper at twelve midnight and no one to tar. It's all perfectly logical to him.
He wrote down his thought process once, and it went something like this:
food - kaasan - sukiyaki - sweethearts - am i? - valentine's - pink - chocolates - mints - where to? - soon - panic - relax - breathe in out in - fuji.
7. When he was six, Saeki was placed in the hospital. Broken arm, broken leg and Saeki didn't cry while they set his limbs without anesthetic because the hospital was fresh out. (They did, but it still hurt; it sounds better to say they didn't anyway.)
Those four weeks in the hospital were perhaps the best he had had. Takeout, every night. Visitors, every day. And every lunch, Fuji would ditch school to feed him bland rice and bland smiles while Saeki pretended to swoon.
It wasn't bad, until his skin began to chafe.
8. Homework flows past nine on rare nights when Saeki bothers doing everything that isn't immediately obvious; mostly, he figures homework isn't worth it if you're not a genius.
9. Oyasumi, says Saeki to his teddy every night before he falls asleep.
Oyasumi, replies his teddy and then there is.
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
Ne, his teddy asks him. Are you going to sleep?
Don't think so, he says.
How was your day? his teddy asks.
Ah.
Oh?
Eh.
He called while you were gone.
Oh?
Does that make it better?
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
[silence]
It does.
And he goes to sleep with a smile on his face.
10. Half the scenes in his head are imagined, but it is all the same to him.
11. He tries not to touch on the deeper issues before he sleeps; they give him nightmares. Questions about his inadequacy and what the hell he'll do with his life when Fuji goes to college or how he'll get into college with his grades the way they are and what he's going to do with his life and maybe he'll go to America.
He tries not to think about what he should be doing; fighting the good fight and giving up gracefully because in those stars he's long passed supernova and if there's another life (another chance?) after all of this where he can be better stronger quicker just better. He should be sleeping.
He tries not to think before he goes to sleep; the hormones are just safer.
12. Saeki wishes he could be like that.
13. He gets ten hours nightly, not because he needs it but because it's easier.
14. Sometimes, he fantasizes about [rock]stardom. Everything would come easier that way - the drugs, the money, the sex. (Fuji.) But mostly the sex.
15. There is always classical music in the background, pouring out of some hole he hasn't discovered yet and isn't quite sure he wants to. It plays Pachebel's Canon four times more than any other song, which doesn't bother him but is mildly curious.
He only stops to think when he finds Fuji has the same ring tone.
16. Saeki has recurring nightmares (and wet dreams, but those aren't quite as unpleasant). There is the one with the dinosaur. The one with the helicopter. World decimation. Homicidal tendencies. Car accidents. Surfing accidents, which result in broken necks and quadriplegic sentences. And then there's the one where he sees someone's back.
That's the saddest one of all.
17. If I don't make it, he says to the radio.
(know that I loved you all along)
18. Hi, he says.
Hi, he says.
Happy birthday, he says.
Thank you, he says.
Sixteen, he says.
Yeah, he says.
Huh.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
At all?
No.
Company?
Never.
Lonely?
Only for you.
Look outside.
For a moment, Saeki wonders what would happen if he didn't look.
19. Saeki thinks that if Fuji had not moved, they would have fallen in love.
Saeki thinks that if Fuji moved back, they would fall in love.
Saeki thinks that if Fuji will give him a chance, they will fall in love.
20. Happy birthday, says Fuji. He plops a present on Saeki's lap, inviting him to open it with eager eyes that are oddly bruised and black. (Saeki doesn't ask - things happen, he knows, when you are emotional.)
I think you'll enjoy it, Fuji says. Saeki pays more attention to Fuji than the box.
Oh, says Fuji sitting on the bed. You still have my sheets.
Saeki smiles.
mmm. not quite sure about that ending. the first 20meme was supposed to be d1 or muromachi touji, but being sae's bday and all...well. XD; anyway. off to work on the other two. ._.