if you had cancer
This is something of a continuation of a conversation at a Hannukah/Chanukah shindig I attended this evening. One of those discussions "What if you lived like you had cancer?" It always looks so romantic in the movies. Somebody learns a lesson about kicking back and relaxing and enjoying life based on their newfound devil-may-care attitude and we all learn something heart-warming.
There are obvious problems with this though. If you were truly dying in a month, you'd spend all your money, do everything you've ever wanted to do, say everything you'd ever wanted to say (good and bad), and then be dead. Makes sense. But what happens if you miraculously recover? Or you're part of that 5% that survives that horrible form of cancer you had? Then you're suddenly broke, you probably have no job, you may have pissed off important people by finally speaking your mind, and you're that obnoxious guy who was flaunting his near-death just a couple weeks ago. Not necessarily a good situation.
I just don't see how behaving as though there is a deadline can be applicable to a life that you hope will continue. The most fulfilling things a person can do involve forming relationships with others, raising kids if it's right for you, bettering yourself, doing meaningful work if possible, and being able to look back at a life well lived with satisfaction. For the psychology buffs out there, Erikson's final identified psychosocial crisis is "Integrity vs. Despair." Basically every person, in old age, looks back at their life and analyzes how they have handled things. If you've done the best you feel like you could have, looking back, then you die happy. Otherwise you're pretty much miserable but you can't do anything over again. In light of this, it may not be the best idea to take the approach that NOW is the only thing that matters. You HAVE to think about tomorrow and the day after that or else you're going to be really disappointed in the end.
Don't live like you're going to die. Live like you're not afraid to live. Go! Bungee jump! See Europe! Swim with a dolphin! Jump naked into an arctic ice field! Whatever it is you've been waiting to do, go do it. You don't need impending death to give you permission.
There are obvious problems with this though. If you were truly dying in a month, you'd spend all your money, do everything you've ever wanted to do, say everything you'd ever wanted to say (good and bad), and then be dead. Makes sense. But what happens if you miraculously recover? Or you're part of that 5% that survives that horrible form of cancer you had? Then you're suddenly broke, you probably have no job, you may have pissed off important people by finally speaking your mind, and you're that obnoxious guy who was flaunting his near-death just a couple weeks ago. Not necessarily a good situation.
I just don't see how behaving as though there is a deadline can be applicable to a life that you hope will continue. The most fulfilling things a person can do involve forming relationships with others, raising kids if it's right for you, bettering yourself, doing meaningful work if possible, and being able to look back at a life well lived with satisfaction. For the psychology buffs out there, Erikson's final identified psychosocial crisis is "Integrity vs. Despair." Basically every person, in old age, looks back at their life and analyzes how they have handled things. If you've done the best you feel like you could have, looking back, then you die happy. Otherwise you're pretty much miserable but you can't do anything over again. In light of this, it may not be the best idea to take the approach that NOW is the only thing that matters. You HAVE to think about tomorrow and the day after that or else you're going to be really disappointed in the end.
Don't live like you're going to die. Live like you're not afraid to live. Go! Bungee jump! See Europe! Swim with a dolphin! Jump naked into an arctic ice field! Whatever it is you've been waiting to do, go do it. You don't need impending death to give you permission.