Oh hi, boredom.

[vzg]

My coworker and I decided that our store should do all its advertising - in-store at least - with the cast of The Room, and in particular Tommy Wiseau.

You see, there's this weird ad that seems just a bit off, and begins with a woman saying, "Hi, pear!" Because yes, she is talking to a pear.

It should instead be, "Oh hi, pear!" as said by Tommy Wiseau.

And all the other ads should start with, "Oh hi, shoppers!"

Also:

"You should buy the chicken. No water or salt added. It's good! Ah-ha. CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP."

"I got the results back. It's official: I definitely saved money on my groceries with (store card)."

"I owe him some money!"
"WHAT KIND OF MONEY?"
"For groceries!"
"WHAT KIND OF GROCERIES?!"
"What does it matter?"
"It matters a great deal! You could have saved at (store)!"

"I am tired of these high prices!"

"There are no high prices. I just said that to make it interesting."

"Do you want me to make a pizza?"
"Whatever, I don't care."
"I'm already making a pizza."
"You think about everything, (store). Ha ha."

"You don't understand anything, man. Leave your stupid savings in your pocket!"
"That's the idea!"

Yes, I do realize that these don't match up quite right. TOO BAD.

Tommy Wiseau, you wanna do some ads for a regional grocery store chain?