mini emotional summary
wow have not updated in way too long... really need to get back into the habit of this or I might just regret it one day. Life seems too drama free right now. It's too boring. Maybe that's why the smallest things bug me so much. It's as if i want to make a big deal out of nothing to add some spice to my life.
I honestly really don't want to feel these feelings, nor do I like to talk bad about you. But whenever your name comes up in a conversation it's never good news. And whenever I see your face on my newsfeed I want to kill someone. I never knew I could dislike someone so much. And it sucks because that just means you're having an effect on my life - which is probably exactly your goal. I honestly just wish I could go up to you and b!tch the eff out of you... but clearly for very obvious reasons I will not and cannot do that lmao. I feel so fake when I see you and wave and say hi... but it's just not in me to give someone stink eye or go around spreading rumours about people that's your specialty. And then after I feel all this hate ... I just feel bad and I feel like I should be nice to you. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME.. I wish you could just disappear from my life. But somehow you always find your way back in. Kill. Me. Now.
On a side note. I think it's time to move on. Find new "boys" - who don't necessarily have to be boys - who actually care and want to hang out with me LOL. Sad? Yes. But oh well, it was truly fun while our friendships lasted. Guess it was one of those 'high school' things. I suppose everyone grows up and finds new friends anyways right? It's weird though. One year ago today, I would be freaking out and super sad at the fact that we are drifting have drifted apart. Guess it's come to the point where I can't even deny it myself. I'm sure we'll all remain friends, but it's just different. And I think I'm finally okay with that. It's depressing and sad to say goodbye, but it just has to be done.
This is what happens when nothing is being updated on my timeline, newsfeed or dashboard. I'm basically left to bathe in bed here in my own thoughts...
I honestly really don't want to feel these feelings, nor do I like to talk bad about you. But whenever your name comes up in a conversation it's never good news. And whenever I see your face on my newsfeed I want to kill someone. I never knew I could dislike someone so much. And it sucks because that just means you're having an effect on my life - which is probably exactly your goal. I honestly just wish I could go up to you and b!tch the eff out of you... but clearly for very obvious reasons I will not and cannot do that lmao. I feel so fake when I see you and wave and say hi... but it's just not in me to give someone stink eye or go around spreading rumours about people that's your specialty. And then after I feel all this hate ... I just feel bad and I feel like I should be nice to you. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME.. I wish you could just disappear from my life. But somehow you always find your way back in. Kill. Me. Now.
On a side note. I think it's time to move on. Find new "boys" - who don't necessarily have to be boys - who actually care and want to hang out with me LOL. Sad? Yes. But oh well, it was truly fun while our friendships lasted. Guess it was one of those 'high school' things. I suppose everyone grows up and finds new friends anyways right? It's weird though. One year ago today, I would be freaking out and super sad at the fact that we are drifting have drifted apart. Guess it's come to the point where I can't even deny it myself. I'm sure we'll all remain friends, but it's just different. And I think I'm finally okay with that. It's depressing and sad to say goodbye, but it just has to be done.
This is what happens when nothing is being updated on my timeline, newsfeed or dashboard. I'm basically left to bathe in bed here in my own thoughts...