Episodes 21 & 22 - What's My Line
Yes, I am skipping two episodes. Just not much to say about either of them. I will say that it was fun to watch vamp wanna bes get fang raped in Lie to Me. And I mistook the first few moments of The Dark Age episode for a metal hair band video.
What's My Line - or - Dibs on the Spike/Oz Sandwich
Synopsis: After poking around in an old stolen book, Spike finds a way to cure Drusilla. He sends the Order of Taraka after Buffy to keep her out of the way. A second slayer shows up in town making things a little weird, and a lot hot. And in the end, Oz explains yet another facet of what makes a monkey evil.
I must say, I love the way Spike loves Dru. His temper shoots violent and passionate all in one, all the time. He'll snap one moment, then be the dirt beneath her little unclad fee the next. He's jealous, possessive. He puts her up on a pedestal while calling her diminutive and worshipful names. Pet. Lamb. Black goddess. Ripe, wicked plum. Is Spike Irish? He sure loves like one.
In contrast to this, we have... Angel and Buffy. Oh, the constant back and forth of don't love me. It can't work. But I want to kiss you. I'm too dark. You're too young. You shouldn't have to touch my klingon bits. What is this relationship based on other than longing glances and hesitant sighs? Gah. Sometimes I feel that their relationship is the beginning of the slippery slope that led to such travesties as Edward and Bella. (When I typed that... Bella's name originally came first. But she was so upset that she should ever come before her beautiful sparkling love - she is so unworthy to be in such a position - that she cried until I changed the order. True story!)
So... on with the plot.
Spike calls the Order of Tarakis on Buffy. Spike, Spike, Spike, you were doing so well. But this is total a 'the Master' move. Oh, Buffy is a problem. Let's call in whatever assassins to kill her. Has this -ever- worked? No. They cramp her style a little. But then in the end she and Scooby Gang pitch in kill the bad guys. Seriously. You're a vampire. Put some humans in your thrall. Have them poison her diet coke during the day when her guard is down. Duh.
But of course, now we have the problem that instead of 1 Slayer, we have two. And the second one has a hard time understanding why she shouldn't just kill Angel. And given the fact that Buffy mutters the explanation of 'He has a gypsy curse,' perhaps Buffy is starting to wonder just now how many girls he's used that line on. Oh, I have to get up in the morning. It's guy's night out. It's not you, it's me. I have a gypsy curse. Yeeeah.
So Angel ends up in the hands of Spike. Right where he doesn't need to be. Because now it's play time for Drusilla. Oh Dru, did you just chain a shirtless Angel up to your four poster bed to better torture him with holy water? You just get prettier every day, don't you princess? I swear when she slapped Angel and told him he'd been a very bad Daddy... well... suddenly I remembered the appeal of sensitive, gentle, brooding boys. Tying them up and breaking their will. Yes. Show me more.
While all of this is going on, I wonder what Xander is up to. Cut to Cordelia and Xander kissing in the middle of arguing. Twice. I... I'm just adding this to the list of crazy bitch attractions of Xander's. Sweety. Honey. Rage is not the same as love.
But the real point of this episode, the parts that really made me squeal and keep watching...
Oz and Willow.
I could go for hours about how adorable they are. About how much I want to kiss their ears and muss their hair. But I will present instead, these bits of dialog.
Willow: Hey! Your hair! Is brown!
Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes.
There's an interlude here where Oz takes a fucking bullet for Willow. Later, she opens a box of Animal Crackers for him.
Oz: Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Willow: Yeah, I-I see!
Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey man, where are -my- pants? I have my hippo dignity!' And you know the monkey's just, (in a French accent) 'I mock you with my monkey pants!' And there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
Seriously.... take me to the Seth Green store cause I am buying two. How smooth geek is that? A dissertation about Animal Cracker dress code. That just makes me swoon in all my squishy geek girl bits. I mean, it's not like I have a total weakness for that sort of thing. It's not like... I married a man who has a whole diatribe about that missing hour of television during the time change.
I do hope that Oz sticks around. I also have this odd hope that he takes some preternatural turn. I'm crossing my fingers for werewolf. That would make me far too happy.
Moral of the episode: Monkeys are fucking evil. Still.
What's My Line - or - Dibs on the Spike/Oz Sandwich
Synopsis: After poking around in an old stolen book, Spike finds a way to cure Drusilla. He sends the Order of Taraka after Buffy to keep her out of the way. A second slayer shows up in town making things a little weird, and a lot hot. And in the end, Oz explains yet another facet of what makes a monkey evil.
I must say, I love the way Spike loves Dru. His temper shoots violent and passionate all in one, all the time. He'll snap one moment, then be the dirt beneath her little unclad fee the next. He's jealous, possessive. He puts her up on a pedestal while calling her diminutive and worshipful names. Pet. Lamb. Black goddess. Ripe, wicked plum. Is Spike Irish? He sure loves like one.
In contrast to this, we have... Angel and Buffy. Oh, the constant back and forth of don't love me. It can't work. But I want to kiss you. I'm too dark. You're too young. You shouldn't have to touch my klingon bits. What is this relationship based on other than longing glances and hesitant sighs? Gah. Sometimes I feel that their relationship is the beginning of the slippery slope that led to such travesties as Edward and Bella. (When I typed that... Bella's name originally came first. But she was so upset that she should ever come before her beautiful sparkling love - she is so unworthy to be in such a position - that she cried until I changed the order. True story!)
So... on with the plot.
Spike calls the Order of Tarakis on Buffy. Spike, Spike, Spike, you were doing so well. But this is total a 'the Master' move. Oh, Buffy is a problem. Let's call in whatever assassins to kill her. Has this -ever- worked? No. They cramp her style a little. But then in the end she and Scooby Gang pitch in kill the bad guys. Seriously. You're a vampire. Put some humans in your thrall. Have them poison her diet coke during the day when her guard is down. Duh.
But of course, now we have the problem that instead of 1 Slayer, we have two. And the second one has a hard time understanding why she shouldn't just kill Angel. And given the fact that Buffy mutters the explanation of 'He has a gypsy curse,' perhaps Buffy is starting to wonder just now how many girls he's used that line on. Oh, I have to get up in the morning. It's guy's night out. It's not you, it's me. I have a gypsy curse. Yeeeah.
So Angel ends up in the hands of Spike. Right where he doesn't need to be. Because now it's play time for Drusilla. Oh Dru, did you just chain a shirtless Angel up to your four poster bed to better torture him with holy water? You just get prettier every day, don't you princess? I swear when she slapped Angel and told him he'd been a very bad Daddy... well... suddenly I remembered the appeal of sensitive, gentle, brooding boys. Tying them up and breaking their will. Yes. Show me more.
While all of this is going on, I wonder what Xander is up to. Cut to Cordelia and Xander kissing in the middle of arguing. Twice. I... I'm just adding this to the list of crazy bitch attractions of Xander's. Sweety. Honey. Rage is not the same as love.
But the real point of this episode, the parts that really made me squeal and keep watching...
Oz and Willow.
I could go for hours about how adorable they are. About how much I want to kiss their ears and muss their hair. But I will present instead, these bits of dialog.
Willow: Hey! Your hair! Is brown!
Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes.
There's an interlude here where Oz takes a fucking bullet for Willow. Later, she opens a box of Animal Crackers for him.
Oz: Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Willow: Yeah, I-I see!
Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey man, where are -my- pants? I have my hippo dignity!' And you know the monkey's just, (in a French accent) 'I mock you with my monkey pants!' And there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
Seriously.... take me to the Seth Green store cause I am buying two. How smooth geek is that? A dissertation about Animal Cracker dress code. That just makes me swoon in all my squishy geek girl bits. I mean, it's not like I have a total weakness for that sort of thing. It's not like... I married a man who has a whole diatribe about that missing hour of television during the time change.
I do hope that Oz sticks around. I also have this odd hope that he takes some preternatural turn. I'm crossing my fingers for werewolf. That would make me far too happy.
Moral of the episode: Monkeys are fucking evil. Still.