Goodbye Bro, You Will Be Missed. I Hope To See You On The Other Side
He's not technically my brother. But he was more of a brother to me than the two I actually have. Open minded, practical, had better common sense, easier to talk to. Always there for me...
Back when I got diagnosed with my heart condition, my cousin had to have open heart surgery. A bypass of some sort. He recovered well. Pretty much a full recovery. Couldn't ask for much better.
But these last few weeks, maybe even a month or more from what I've been hearing, he's been bruising really easily. Some just suddenly show up. I don't know what finally made him go get checked out, but they immediately detained him. Thought it was leukemia. Nobody in my family or his has had leukemia before. So it was odd. But I guess they admitted they might have caused it when he had his heart problem.
See, when they want to look at just your heart, they put this dye in your system. Its radioactive, so it shows up in x-ray type things. I forget what the "thing" is called, but I've had it done myself. You get injected with a liquid, and then wait a few for it to take effect, then you go lay down on this bed, and this big dish comes overtop of your and picks up the dye inside.
The dye they used on him wasn't the same as mine. They were both radioactive. I even got a paper I had to carry around. Apparently it sets off metal detectors. Mine was like getting ice shot into my veins. His was warm, and induced a sensation of a bowel movement... It was funny to listen to him tell that story. They injected him, and immediately, he's like "Oh man, I am so sorry" and the nurse is like "What's wrong?" and he's like "I just crapped my pants..." and she's like "Oh, that's normal. Its just a sensation this stuff gives you". Apparently pretty common for whatever it was they used
But whatever it was, they think it induced the leukemia... They also thought they got it in time. It was nothing but "we'll do this" and "we'll do that" and then you'll go home. Never once did anyone say "if this doesn't work you only have X amount of time to live". They were positive they could fix it. Just that the cancer treatment center was a lot better out of town. Top of the line. Just had to wait until a bed opened. Ship him off to start treatment. And they didn't expect he'd be there much longer than a month. Just had to wait for a space to open up. The doctor was obsessed with this hospital though. Nobody knows why. Yes, Columbus is probably the biggest city in Ohio. Probably the best hospital in Ohio. But come on. Cleveland and Cinncinnatti are huge cities too. And I know Cinn. has an awesome hospital facility. Or even Dayton or Toledo, bigger and better, hold him just long enough for an opening in Columbus.
But no, had to wait specifically for Columbus. So they induced leukemia, and now they make him wait to fix it. It drove him nuts. And he couldn't help thinking about his mortality. He had a very positive attitude though. "I know I have leukemia. And I know I'm going to beat it. I just have to get out of the starting block". He couldn't DO anything. Just sit. And wait. Couldn't even let him go home and relax and wait for an opening. The leukemia gave him hemophelia. His blood couldn't clot anymore. He could bleed to death. So he had to stay at the hospital. Stew over his own mortality. So no matter his positive attitude, there was more than enough time for doubt to sink in. And he'd break down. But overall he was really brave and strong. His kids were awesome. The youngest one would crawl up in bed with him and lay there with him for hours. Keep him company, tell him about his day. It was awesome. But if anyone had to leave, he couldn't help but think he might not be there when they got back. He couldn't even sleep. Afraid he'd never wake up. We all took the doctor's side and consoled him. Hell I was so positive he'd be alright... Geno called me at the hospital, wanting me to help do an animal rights activist thing and go save some baby deer before they were killed. And we only had a couple hour window. So I stayed with my cousin until he went out for a smoke and then Geno picked me up. I was sure I'd see him again
Anyway, they did start him on blood transfusions though. Bone marrow transplants are the main thing, but that was a job left for Columbus. But almost as soon as they started him on blood drips he started complaining about a headache. The one nurse almost tried to ignore it, but he insisted. So before she left, she asked him what number he'd give his pain. He said 12. And you almost had to snicker, 'cause the pain scale they talk about only goes from 1 to 10. So we figured he was exaggerating to get her moving, because he was irritated
All things said and done, if you're going to have leukemia, he had about the best case scenario. They were positive they could fix it. Except the pressure in his head. Nobody realized how serious it was. And I don't know if having a headache was just a conicidense to the events that happened next, or if it was actually a sign they should have looked into. Hindsight is 20/20 so I'm afraid it could have been prevented. It all could have been prevented... Regardless of rhyme or reason, his brain started bleeding the other night. Burst pressure maybe? Pressure that could cause a headache? By morning he was pronounced brain dead... Really brain dead. His body couldn't function on its own. He was well past a vegetative state... So a little after noon yesterday, his family pulled the plug. And he died less than an hour later...
And I told him he was going to be fine. I LEFT him. He thought I couldn't take being around him like that. I had every intention to go back over the weekend and see him again, console him again, explain all the details of my deer saving adventure.
I'm sorry Mark... I love you. And I hope I'll see you again someday
Keep dad company for me until then, okay?
T_T
Back when I got diagnosed with my heart condition, my cousin had to have open heart surgery. A bypass of some sort. He recovered well. Pretty much a full recovery. Couldn't ask for much better.
But these last few weeks, maybe even a month or more from what I've been hearing, he's been bruising really easily. Some just suddenly show up. I don't know what finally made him go get checked out, but they immediately detained him. Thought it was leukemia. Nobody in my family or his has had leukemia before. So it was odd. But I guess they admitted they might have caused it when he had his heart problem.
See, when they want to look at just your heart, they put this dye in your system. Its radioactive, so it shows up in x-ray type things. I forget what the "thing" is called, but I've had it done myself. You get injected with a liquid, and then wait a few for it to take effect, then you go lay down on this bed, and this big dish comes overtop of your and picks up the dye inside.
The dye they used on him wasn't the same as mine. They were both radioactive. I even got a paper I had to carry around. Apparently it sets off metal detectors. Mine was like getting ice shot into my veins. His was warm, and induced a sensation of a bowel movement... It was funny to listen to him tell that story. They injected him, and immediately, he's like "Oh man, I am so sorry" and the nurse is like "What's wrong?" and he's like "I just crapped my pants..." and she's like "Oh, that's normal. Its just a sensation this stuff gives you". Apparently pretty common for whatever it was they used
But whatever it was, they think it induced the leukemia... They also thought they got it in time. It was nothing but "we'll do this" and "we'll do that" and then you'll go home. Never once did anyone say "if this doesn't work you only have X amount of time to live". They were positive they could fix it. Just that the cancer treatment center was a lot better out of town. Top of the line. Just had to wait until a bed opened. Ship him off to start treatment. And they didn't expect he'd be there much longer than a month. Just had to wait for a space to open up. The doctor was obsessed with this hospital though. Nobody knows why. Yes, Columbus is probably the biggest city in Ohio. Probably the best hospital in Ohio. But come on. Cleveland and Cinncinnatti are huge cities too. And I know Cinn. has an awesome hospital facility. Or even Dayton or Toledo, bigger and better, hold him just long enough for an opening in Columbus.
But no, had to wait specifically for Columbus. So they induced leukemia, and now they make him wait to fix it. It drove him nuts. And he couldn't help thinking about his mortality. He had a very positive attitude though. "I know I have leukemia. And I know I'm going to beat it. I just have to get out of the starting block". He couldn't DO anything. Just sit. And wait. Couldn't even let him go home and relax and wait for an opening. The leukemia gave him hemophelia. His blood couldn't clot anymore. He could bleed to death. So he had to stay at the hospital. Stew over his own mortality. So no matter his positive attitude, there was more than enough time for doubt to sink in. And he'd break down. But overall he was really brave and strong. His kids were awesome. The youngest one would crawl up in bed with him and lay there with him for hours. Keep him company, tell him about his day. It was awesome. But if anyone had to leave, he couldn't help but think he might not be there when they got back. He couldn't even sleep. Afraid he'd never wake up. We all took the doctor's side and consoled him. Hell I was so positive he'd be alright... Geno called me at the hospital, wanting me to help do an animal rights activist thing and go save some baby deer before they were killed. And we only had a couple hour window. So I stayed with my cousin until he went out for a smoke and then Geno picked me up. I was sure I'd see him again
Anyway, they did start him on blood transfusions though. Bone marrow transplants are the main thing, but that was a job left for Columbus. But almost as soon as they started him on blood drips he started complaining about a headache. The one nurse almost tried to ignore it, but he insisted. So before she left, she asked him what number he'd give his pain. He said 12. And you almost had to snicker, 'cause the pain scale they talk about only goes from 1 to 10. So we figured he was exaggerating to get her moving, because he was irritated
All things said and done, if you're going to have leukemia, he had about the best case scenario. They were positive they could fix it. Except the pressure in his head. Nobody realized how serious it was. And I don't know if having a headache was just a conicidense to the events that happened next, or if it was actually a sign they should have looked into. Hindsight is 20/20 so I'm afraid it could have been prevented. It all could have been prevented... Regardless of rhyme or reason, his brain started bleeding the other night. Burst pressure maybe? Pressure that could cause a headache? By morning he was pronounced brain dead... Really brain dead. His body couldn't function on its own. He was well past a vegetative state... So a little after noon yesterday, his family pulled the plug. And he died less than an hour later...
And I told him he was going to be fine. I LEFT him. He thought I couldn't take being around him like that. I had every intention to go back over the weekend and see him again, console him again, explain all the details of my deer saving adventure.
I'm sorry Mark... I love you. And I hope I'll see you again someday
Keep dad company for me until then, okay?
T_T