Fuck my head

Dec 27, 2007 19:26

I will never be okay with my life. I've ruined some wonderful people and I really want to just change my name and move to hungary/romania and be done with everyone.

I am so done.

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meh anonymous February 8 2008, 22:29:50 UTC
Well, I'm doing a little better today... Had a really good day yesterday, we hung out, and everything went fine, even up to the last... As Valentine's Day approaches, I realize that suicide isn't the answer. Unofrtunately, Rachel also told me about how you were just trying to move-on. That makes me really sad, even when we broke up you said you wanted to end-up back together. And now... not even that. I love you, MikoL. I always will. And I wish you could see that everything could be alright in an instant if you would just realize that you still love me. I doubt it'll happen though. I've lost that kind of faith in my life. I'm trying a different tack now. I blocked your number, and I'm not going to call or text you. Hopefully if we don't talk, you'll realize what you're missing. The danger is, you might just forget about me entirely. But seeing as being there and giving ou rides and being nice hasn't worked, I guess I have to do it. I'm even making my facebook statuses and myspace stuff all happy, so you can feel how I do... Hopefully, you'll be jealous that I could be happy without you. More than likely, you just won't care. It feels like the only time you're nice to me is when you want something from me though, which unsettles me. I don't want to become Tyler. I took you off my speed dial and my phone, but the number three won't ever have a speed dial again... For a year you were that one number away, and I can't think of it belonging to anyone else. I hope to god avoiding you works. I hope you come to your senses. I hope everything will turn out right.

I wanna be your valentine so bad that I could cry. But I won't. I've already shed too many tears on your behalf.

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