late night philosophy
I truly have the best friends in the world. Not an understatement.
The last few nights, I've been staying up late and talking to Blake online. Different things...philosophy, what's conflicting us, what's on our minds. Enjoyable conversations. Its been so long since I've thought like I do now, the style, the words, I'd almost forgotten.
Lately, this summer, I'd often lay in bed at night with two particular subjects on my mind: my future, and death. I'm think, and think, and think, but with a negative flow. It would make it hard, uncomfortable to sleep, which is something I've never experienced in my life. I felt unsure about my future, what I was truly to be, how things would turn out, if I could really be what I thought I wanted to be with how I've performed thus far. I felt fear about death, about the uncertainty, and the possibilities. I happen to like existence, in this form, what if it ceased entirely? What if it continued, in some form, for me, but I wasn't who I am now? The ones I love, those that help define who I am, what of them? All these things and more would run through my mind, and leave me with such a fear, it almost brought me to tears at times.
Resolution comes with reasoning it would seem, sometimes, at least. Talking with Blake helped me bring back my old style of deliberation, of thought, reminded me to look into myself, which is something we should all do. It helps define us as individuals, helps make certain and confident your existence, when you can look into yourself and say you truly know yourself, and put that self to words, knowing that these words do little justice to that which they describe, but that which you understand. In death, we indeed fear uncertainty, but we must accept that, as much as we accept we are eventually to die. In life there exists balance, in every facet, reflected in every manner, and this surely must carry to what lies beyond this existence. Not to go into matters of faith and religion, but for whatever deity or being(s) that brought this to be, one element presented over and over in nature and like is balance, as put forth by the metaphor of the ying and yang, or the flow of water. It does little justice to try and describe what lives in my mind now..but at least I can say I sleep easy now. No longer do I linger on death and fear of what I am to become in the future.
Tonight, Blake felt conflicted on the matter of love, to put it as simple as I can, though it is so much more. I can relate to his feelings, so I try my hardest to calm his conflicts and bring him to some sort of resolution, to a balance. I'll say no more than that, for more would require much more than I care to write from the long conversation we had, but at least I feel happy knowing I helped a little. I feel happy being reminded why I love my friends :)
Tomorrow (or rather today) is my birthday. 20, I am. Celebrations and merriment, o my! A short outline of the supposed day to come:
Wake->jump rope->slow form practice jkd->sheena's for ????? ->likely games with blake.
Excercise, ruminition, and the company of those I love? There is nothing more I could wish for.
Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
.
The last few nights, I've been staying up late and talking to Blake online. Different things...philosophy, what's conflicting us, what's on our minds. Enjoyable conversations. Its been so long since I've thought like I do now, the style, the words, I'd almost forgotten.
Lately, this summer, I'd often lay in bed at night with two particular subjects on my mind: my future, and death. I'm think, and think, and think, but with a negative flow. It would make it hard, uncomfortable to sleep, which is something I've never experienced in my life. I felt unsure about my future, what I was truly to be, how things would turn out, if I could really be what I thought I wanted to be with how I've performed thus far. I felt fear about death, about the uncertainty, and the possibilities. I happen to like existence, in this form, what if it ceased entirely? What if it continued, in some form, for me, but I wasn't who I am now? The ones I love, those that help define who I am, what of them? All these things and more would run through my mind, and leave me with such a fear, it almost brought me to tears at times.
Resolution comes with reasoning it would seem, sometimes, at least. Talking with Blake helped me bring back my old style of deliberation, of thought, reminded me to look into myself, which is something we should all do. It helps define us as individuals, helps make certain and confident your existence, when you can look into yourself and say you truly know yourself, and put that self to words, knowing that these words do little justice to that which they describe, but that which you understand. In death, we indeed fear uncertainty, but we must accept that, as much as we accept we are eventually to die. In life there exists balance, in every facet, reflected in every manner, and this surely must carry to what lies beyond this existence. Not to go into matters of faith and religion, but for whatever deity or being(s) that brought this to be, one element presented over and over in nature and like is balance, as put forth by the metaphor of the ying and yang, or the flow of water. It does little justice to try and describe what lives in my mind now..but at least I can say I sleep easy now. No longer do I linger on death and fear of what I am to become in the future.
Tonight, Blake felt conflicted on the matter of love, to put it as simple as I can, though it is so much more. I can relate to his feelings, so I try my hardest to calm his conflicts and bring him to some sort of resolution, to a balance. I'll say no more than that, for more would require much more than I care to write from the long conversation we had, but at least I feel happy knowing I helped a little. I feel happy being reminded why I love my friends :)
Tomorrow (or rather today) is my birthday. 20, I am. Celebrations and merriment, o my! A short outline of the supposed day to come:
Wake->jump rope->slow form practice jkd->sheena's for ????? ->likely games with blake.
Excercise, ruminition, and the company of those I love? There is nothing more I could wish for.
Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
.