Seperate love from addiction
I remember the first time I saw her. She was bundled up because fall up north has a chilling effect on the temperature. My landing from my flight had been rough and I wasn't sure if the butterflies in my stomach were from those tumblings or the fact that every corner I turned in that airport had my adrenaline coursing through my veins. I must have rounded twelve corners before I got to baggage claim where she was waiting. This was post 9/11 and there were no romantic meetings as soon as you deplaned.
Her hair was pulled back swept up in some little scrunchy thing. I have never been good about girly grooming items and had it not exposed the luscious curve of her neck I probably would have never noticed. But she was huddled there with three of her friends all of them eying me. I guess picking out the dyke that just got off the commuter plane wasn't that difficult, I stuck out in the crowd and suddenly felt very self concious about how I looked. Was my hair ok? Did I look tired from the trip?
She bit her bottom lip, her teeth doing exactly what had just crossed my mind. How I ever conceled the raw hunger within me is a mystery. Her shoulders hunched up and she quickly looked down. I could feel myself getting crimson, I was jealous of her friends, I had flown all this way and wanted her to myseld. I picked up the pace closing the gap between the two of us in minutes. I had come this far and would not waste any time I had with her over something as negligble as walking.
There she was, the woman I had spent all my spare time talking to, dreaming of, wanting. I had never seen her flesh, yet I knew I was in love with her. She had stolen my heart and given me back my sanity, taking me from the brink of self destruction. She was new, barely even out, and had never actually been with a woman. Yet, she had believed in me enough, believed in our love enough to tell her parents about me, to think that we could span the age difference, the 1300 miles and sort it all out. To invite me to spend Thanksgiving with her family.
I took her in my arms, holding her tight. I had spent weeks thinking about this. How would she feel wrapped up in my arms. Would I like her body against mine? Would she feel the warmth, love and safety I had to offer. Could she ever realize that when I wrapped her up I offered to keep her safe form there on out. That I would not let harm or foul come to her?
But how could I say this when I was gazing into her multi-tonal green/hazel eyes for the first time. I was drowning in the dpeths of those inteligent orbs. If I said all this she would run and I didn't want her to leave. EVER.
"Could you be any better?"
Her hair was pulled back swept up in some little scrunchy thing. I have never been good about girly grooming items and had it not exposed the luscious curve of her neck I probably would have never noticed. But she was huddled there with three of her friends all of them eying me. I guess picking out the dyke that just got off the commuter plane wasn't that difficult, I stuck out in the crowd and suddenly felt very self concious about how I looked. Was my hair ok? Did I look tired from the trip?
She bit her bottom lip, her teeth doing exactly what had just crossed my mind. How I ever conceled the raw hunger within me is a mystery. Her shoulders hunched up and she quickly looked down. I could feel myself getting crimson, I was jealous of her friends, I had flown all this way and wanted her to myseld. I picked up the pace closing the gap between the two of us in minutes. I had come this far and would not waste any time I had with her over something as negligble as walking.
There she was, the woman I had spent all my spare time talking to, dreaming of, wanting. I had never seen her flesh, yet I knew I was in love with her. She had stolen my heart and given me back my sanity, taking me from the brink of self destruction. She was new, barely even out, and had never actually been with a woman. Yet, she had believed in me enough, believed in our love enough to tell her parents about me, to think that we could span the age difference, the 1300 miles and sort it all out. To invite me to spend Thanksgiving with her family.
I took her in my arms, holding her tight. I had spent weeks thinking about this. How would she feel wrapped up in my arms. Would I like her body against mine? Would she feel the warmth, love and safety I had to offer. Could she ever realize that when I wrapped her up I offered to keep her safe form there on out. That I would not let harm or foul come to her?
But how could I say this when I was gazing into her multi-tonal green/hazel eyes for the first time. I was drowning in the dpeths of those inteligent orbs. If I said all this she would run and I didn't want her to leave. EVER.
"Could you be any better?"