In the tired spaces you could hear her name
Mortality is weighing on my mind recently. The headaches are back and that has made more than introspective. I think the interesting thing about these pains, is that I am not cranky due to them. I have accepted the sharp shooting pains, the dull ache, the constant thud. So even thought they are back it isn't consuming who I am.
However, I am dwelling in a place in my head that I rarely venture to. My thoughts echo with sentiments I am not even sure are mine. I think about children now because never before had it occured to me I might want to leave a legacy behind. Wathing Caidin and Makenna make me see absolute love of a parental figure and the impressions of the parents. Could I do it that successfully?
Somewhere in me I realize that is a selfish reason to procreate, just for my own legacy. But hell, the intellect is there, I would have a prgeny that might go on to be great. Or maybe just rise to the height of mediocrity, like I did. Anyway, it isn't something I will do, knowing full well I might not be around for the offspring's high school graduation.
I want a family. Not in that sense, with the child. But I want her, the home, the dogs. Call me odl fashioned, but I want to have dinner cooked for her when she walks through the door, a little bedraggled from her day, but her face lit becuase she sees me waiting for her.
What if all I ever get is that look from the boy, cause he knows it means he gets fed?
However, I am dwelling in a place in my head that I rarely venture to. My thoughts echo with sentiments I am not even sure are mine. I think about children now because never before had it occured to me I might want to leave a legacy behind. Wathing Caidin and Makenna make me see absolute love of a parental figure and the impressions of the parents. Could I do it that successfully?
Somewhere in me I realize that is a selfish reason to procreate, just for my own legacy. But hell, the intellect is there, I would have a prgeny that might go on to be great. Or maybe just rise to the height of mediocrity, like I did. Anyway, it isn't something I will do, knowing full well I might not be around for the offspring's high school graduation.
I want a family. Not in that sense, with the child. But I want her, the home, the dogs. Call me odl fashioned, but I want to have dinner cooked for her when she walks through the door, a little bedraggled from her day, but her face lit becuase she sees me waiting for her.
What if all I ever get is that look from the boy, cause he knows it means he gets fed?