Five months and I'm finally making my decisions
I'm moving back to Long Island. This likely means me and Cisko are through but I am not ready to say it say it.
I had put everything into this.
I moved every ounce of my life into this small apartment.
I put every ounce of my good and my bad into this
3 years and and 2 months
I dreamed of a day when he would love me like I loved him but the truth is he doesn't even love himself
you cant work with that and you cant really continue to have dreams if that's the case.
I need to get out of my pattern of picking people who are emotionally unavailable. I need someone who is comfortable completely with themselves and I need to start recognizing it.
I also think I should probably just chill. Live life by myself, go out more...if possible. Stop being a hermit that only comes out occasionally long enough for people to ask for when Im going to come out again... and then I dont.
why dont I?
Do I not believe people that they want to see me? What is MY deal?
I need to go home and refocus. At least I know that I will always find someone that is interested in me... but that doesnt mean I have to fall all over them.
Its just starting to hit me. Three years a lot of love but a waste. You cant make someone care more than they do and when you know you're at the bottom of the priority list its not a great place to be.
I have to keep packing. What I really wish for at the moment though is to be able to pack myself away for a little bit. I guess that is what I have to do.
I had put everything into this.
I moved every ounce of my life into this small apartment.
I put every ounce of my good and my bad into this
3 years and and 2 months
I dreamed of a day when he would love me like I loved him but the truth is he doesn't even love himself
you cant work with that and you cant really continue to have dreams if that's the case.
I need to get out of my pattern of picking people who are emotionally unavailable. I need someone who is comfortable completely with themselves and I need to start recognizing it.
I also think I should probably just chill. Live life by myself, go out more...if possible. Stop being a hermit that only comes out occasionally long enough for people to ask for when Im going to come out again... and then I dont.
why dont I?
Do I not believe people that they want to see me? What is MY deal?
I need to go home and refocus. At least I know that I will always find someone that is interested in me... but that doesnt mean I have to fall all over them.
Its just starting to hit me. Three years a lot of love but a waste. You cant make someone care more than they do and when you know you're at the bottom of the priority list its not a great place to be.
I have to keep packing. What I really wish for at the moment though is to be able to pack myself away for a little bit. I guess that is what I have to do.