someone please explain....
why in dreams people that you knew in real life suddenly seem SO MUCH BETTER than they were in real life. It's like my subconscious going... oh this is what you saw in them for years. Even though they didn't even know how to be friends with you... apparently your dumb ass subconscious fingered them as the most handy available person EVER... when really they were the COMPLETE opposite.
weird ass dreams because I am moving... ugh
it was so ridiculous I cant even explain.
on another note.
How much does cleaning out an appartment suck?
Found all these letters from Erik. Which at the time I didn't believe what he was saying, mostly because I was so angry and felt lied to about who he was and angry that I put so much effort and love into one person and neglected myself because I wasn't getting it from him or anywhere else except his parents.... ( and by then we were living away from them).
I gotta tell you though looking at them now makes me sad. A) because I dont know if I have to give up this dream of having a house in a country... a barn even...
B) because there are so many things I miss about us as two people that were close. We really were like best friends.
C). Oh god and that note he wrote about all the things he loved about me... ::sigh:: remembering now though that he could never say anything IN the relationship... and this was after the fact when I was angry... but looking back I didnt KNOW he noticed so much about me.
bleh... still makes me so angry... we could have had it awesome.
He is happy now with this chick... whats her name... something offbeat....
I am happy with cisk cant wait to have a new apartment and a backyard!
There's some things we need to work on in our relationship though cause I miss certain aspects of my former life.
Not just with erik... but in general...
maybe it IS a cultural thing... but it needs to be tweaked...
and eventually I need to find a job.
My mind is totally on the move right now though... its annoying....
sigh.
weird ass dreams because I am moving... ugh
it was so ridiculous I cant even explain.
on another note.
How much does cleaning out an appartment suck?
Found all these letters from Erik. Which at the time I didn't believe what he was saying, mostly because I was so angry and felt lied to about who he was and angry that I put so much effort and love into one person and neglected myself because I wasn't getting it from him or anywhere else except his parents.... ( and by then we were living away from them).
I gotta tell you though looking at them now makes me sad. A) because I dont know if I have to give up this dream of having a house in a country... a barn even...
B) because there are so many things I miss about us as two people that were close. We really were like best friends.
C). Oh god and that note he wrote about all the things he loved about me... ::sigh:: remembering now though that he could never say anything IN the relationship... and this was after the fact when I was angry... but looking back I didnt KNOW he noticed so much about me.
bleh... still makes me so angry... we could have had it awesome.
He is happy now with this chick... whats her name... something offbeat....
I am happy with cisk cant wait to have a new apartment and a backyard!
There's some things we need to work on in our relationship though cause I miss certain aspects of my former life.
Not just with erik... but in general...
maybe it IS a cultural thing... but it needs to be tweaked...
and eventually I need to find a job.
My mind is totally on the move right now though... its annoying....
sigh.