im not as strong as i used to be
so how much more fucking shit am i going to have to go through before something good finally happens?
to think it couldnt get any worse, my granpa on my dads side was rushed into surgery monday and the doctors said he was fine, but no DOCTORS FUCKING LIE!!!! hes not doing good and we almost lost him. my dad drove to palm springs to go see him and take care of my grandma through this rough time.
my mom told me to be prepared to see my dad at his worse..and honestly im scared to see me dad like that.
why is everything happening all at once? why is everything happening to my family? you always tell yourself oh it couldnt happen to my family, but then it does and its A FUCKING KICK IN THE FACE!
why is it that all the people i love, im losing?
and to make matters worse. I NOW HAVE TO GO GET TESTS AND SCANS DONE TO MAKE SURE I DONT HAVE FUCKING CANCER!!!! its just something my moms doctor wants my sis and i to do.. i dont think anything will come up but im going to have to get this test done regularly to make sure nothing pops up.
school is becoming so much harder now, and its hard to keep up.
every night im crying in my room with all the lights off..sitting there staring at my walls thinking to myself WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?
my moms surgery is in two weeks and i cant wait, maybe things will do a 360 and turn around for the better. maybe?
ive been such a strong person until now, telling myself everything is going to be ok, when obivously its not..after all this i dont believe in myself and dont believe that this is really happening to me now. i wish none of this happen to me, i wish everyone in my family was healthy and didnt have to go through all this..
im so young to fucking deal with this and its so much pressure to keep a smile on my face when im with people when all i feel like doing is crying my eyes out and just running away, running away from all my problems and running away from life..
all i ask is for my friends to be there for me, which i know i really dont have to ask because i have the best friends in the world and they are already there for me and have been. i love you guys
♥
to think it couldnt get any worse, my granpa on my dads side was rushed into surgery monday and the doctors said he was fine, but no DOCTORS FUCKING LIE!!!! hes not doing good and we almost lost him. my dad drove to palm springs to go see him and take care of my grandma through this rough time.
my mom told me to be prepared to see my dad at his worse..and honestly im scared to see me dad like that.
why is everything happening all at once? why is everything happening to my family? you always tell yourself oh it couldnt happen to my family, but then it does and its A FUCKING KICK IN THE FACE!
why is it that all the people i love, im losing?
and to make matters worse. I NOW HAVE TO GO GET TESTS AND SCANS DONE TO MAKE SURE I DONT HAVE FUCKING CANCER!!!! its just something my moms doctor wants my sis and i to do.. i dont think anything will come up but im going to have to get this test done regularly to make sure nothing pops up.
school is becoming so much harder now, and its hard to keep up.
every night im crying in my room with all the lights off..sitting there staring at my walls thinking to myself WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?
my moms surgery is in two weeks and i cant wait, maybe things will do a 360 and turn around for the better. maybe?
ive been such a strong person until now, telling myself everything is going to be ok, when obivously its not..after all this i dont believe in myself and dont believe that this is really happening to me now. i wish none of this happen to me, i wish everyone in my family was healthy and didnt have to go through all this..
im so young to fucking deal with this and its so much pressure to keep a smile on my face when im with people when all i feel like doing is crying my eyes out and just running away, running away from all my problems and running away from life..
all i ask is for my friends to be there for me, which i know i really dont have to ask because i have the best friends in the world and they are already there for me and have been. i love you guys
♥