Somewhat better
What's annoying is that I made the mistake of clearing the cache of my phone keyboard and unsurprisingly now my dictation is even worse than it had been. One of the weirdest things is it's very unpredictable as to whether it decides to spell out punctuation or not.
Anyway {comma} bad magic called a little bit ago because he noticed something on the calendar that he had misremembered and I had properly remembered but also muchly because he knows I can sometimes really need a call to make a state change.
And we spent a while on the phone as I tended the tofu I was baking and during that time I don't think it is that suddenly water or Adderall or coffee or food finally took a fact dash I didn't do anything while I was on the phone with him other than I guess let out what all the stressing things are.
And it's kind of terrifying to me in some ways because I think what's going on is there's so much background worry or honestly foreground worry about what's going on and what will be here in the next days and that makes everything else so much worse.
Plus some decisions that would be so much easier if not for covid and everything being covered in maga.
I guess one thing that was especially helpful is I keep coming back to OMG that is a whole lot of people there's been no time to vet who all have weapons and it's inside the cordon. With large portions of maga being not political but for reals a religious cult (and I'm not just talking about qanon)* I've been worrying a lot about how are we so sure there's no rogue in there. Bad magic seems to think that unit cohesion within the guard is good enough that that in itself is protective. He's also reminding me that 27,000 soldiers here is a drop in the bucket of how many guard can be pulled up to also protect the state houses. Because it's also looking like they may be turning toward the state houses instead.
(Airbnb has closed all bookings this week in the area, and there's a lot of people making calls to tell hotels to close down and just pay their employees. And like I said, I did walk the perimeter yesterday. Showing up would probably be kind of pointless. Lin wood and the proud boys have been publicizing in some places that their people should stay out of DC. Again, that's why I'm worried about the state houses.)
Since it's not like I can do anything about anything, maybe I need to treat news of preparation the same as I've started trying to treat anything that looks like it's going to start talking about dying covid patients and the word alone. Make an attempt not to keep reading.
It does kind of freak me out that I was having so much physical and mental reaction to the news at large. I'm not well tuned into this in myself and I'm used to people being rendered non-functional due to stuff they're reading in the news as something very much a very small subset of people who are not me.
I was on the phone with bad Magic's mom for most of my walk and describing things but she knew I was taking pictures and I told her I'd make an album and center a link and so I guess I should actually do that.
in other news, registration for arisia opened today. Suggested donations of 25 or 75 but not required. I paid $25, but I'm not really clear when the discord opens and when the programming is and I don't really have time today and I definitely don't have time tonight and I probably don't have time tomorrow or Sunday. And their may or may not be a very long road trip with timing I don't control. Which has been another large stressor because in normal times I can't imagine ever considering two full days of driving that doesn't include visiting a whole bunch of people on the way, but even if I did, in normal times it wouldn't require anywhere near the executive function to make happen.
Then on top of everything else, there's a situation that strongly offends my sense of justice and there's only so much I can do about that either. But it certainly took up a whole lot of my mental cycles the last couple days.
I can't believe how much better I feel after talking with bad magic. This is still freaking me out a bit.
*https://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/what-i-saw-at-the-jericho-march/? This entry was originally posted at https://vvalkyri.dreamwidth.org/1763043.html. You can add to the
comments there using OpenID, or here is okay too.
Anyway {comma} bad magic called a little bit ago because he noticed something on the calendar that he had misremembered and I had properly remembered but also muchly because he knows I can sometimes really need a call to make a state change.
And we spent a while on the phone as I tended the tofu I was baking and during that time I don't think it is that suddenly water or Adderall or coffee or food finally took a fact dash I didn't do anything while I was on the phone with him other than I guess let out what all the stressing things are.
And it's kind of terrifying to me in some ways because I think what's going on is there's so much background worry or honestly foreground worry about what's going on and what will be here in the next days and that makes everything else so much worse.
Plus some decisions that would be so much easier if not for covid and everything being covered in maga.
I guess one thing that was especially helpful is I keep coming back to OMG that is a whole lot of people there's been no time to vet who all have weapons and it's inside the cordon. With large portions of maga being not political but for reals a religious cult (and I'm not just talking about qanon)* I've been worrying a lot about how are we so sure there's no rogue in there. Bad magic seems to think that unit cohesion within the guard is good enough that that in itself is protective. He's also reminding me that 27,000 soldiers here is a drop in the bucket of how many guard can be pulled up to also protect the state houses. Because it's also looking like they may be turning toward the state houses instead.
(Airbnb has closed all bookings this week in the area, and there's a lot of people making calls to tell hotels to close down and just pay their employees. And like I said, I did walk the perimeter yesterday. Showing up would probably be kind of pointless. Lin wood and the proud boys have been publicizing in some places that their people should stay out of DC. Again, that's why I'm worried about the state houses.)
Since it's not like I can do anything about anything, maybe I need to treat news of preparation the same as I've started trying to treat anything that looks like it's going to start talking about dying covid patients and the word alone. Make an attempt not to keep reading.
It does kind of freak me out that I was having so much physical and mental reaction to the news at large. I'm not well tuned into this in myself and I'm used to people being rendered non-functional due to stuff they're reading in the news as something very much a very small subset of people who are not me.
I was on the phone with bad Magic's mom for most of my walk and describing things but she knew I was taking pictures and I told her I'd make an album and center a link and so I guess I should actually do that.
in other news, registration for arisia opened today. Suggested donations of 25 or 75 but not required. I paid $25, but I'm not really clear when the discord opens and when the programming is and I don't really have time today and I definitely don't have time tonight and I probably don't have time tomorrow or Sunday. And their may or may not be a very long road trip with timing I don't control. Which has been another large stressor because in normal times I can't imagine ever considering two full days of driving that doesn't include visiting a whole bunch of people on the way, but even if I did, in normal times it wouldn't require anywhere near the executive function to make happen.
Then on top of everything else, there's a situation that strongly offends my sense of justice and there's only so much I can do about that either. But it certainly took up a whole lot of my mental cycles the last couple days.
I can't believe how much better I feel after talking with bad magic. This is still freaking me out a bit.
*https://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/what-i-saw-at-the-jericho-march/? This entry was originally posted at https://vvalkyri.dreamwidth.org/1763043.html. You can add to the
comments there using OpenID, or here is okay too.