Day 13, Dose 5
11:00 1/8 ts plus a little bit more
Officially half way through this protocol.
No immediate rush, as with some previous doses.
11:15 Find I'm laughing aloud at some things I probably would've merely smiled and nodded at normally. "Normally", curious word.
12:20 Kind of interesting how each dose I take the effects are not really precisely the same as the other times. Today's feeling seems to be generally relaxed, but lifted emotionally. No real elation or agitation. Feel pretty level, but kind of upbeat(?).
I was just reading someone's expression of desperate self-hatred on Twitter, and I felt a lot of compassion for that person, because I am often the same way, but the notable thing was I felt like "wow, I currently don't feel this way, I don't currently hate myself, that's crazy"
1:30 I'm definitely feeling in a good mood.
4:40 The main effect of the medicine passed at 3PM, like clockwork four hours after taking the dose. Some of the effects are lingering, definitely feel boosted from today's good mood, even though I was at work and there's nothing to do. I find myself thinking about the end of the protocol in another couple of weeks, wondering if the effects will actually be lasting. It HAS been notable to feel a good mood and remember what that felt like. I used to have these sometimes! That alone might be the benefit of this medicine, just to snap me out of the self-reinforcing cyclic system for long enough to get a hold of myself. If that's it, then so be it.
Officially half way through this protocol.
No immediate rush, as with some previous doses.
11:15 Find I'm laughing aloud at some things I probably would've merely smiled and nodded at normally. "Normally", curious word.
12:20 Kind of interesting how each dose I take the effects are not really precisely the same as the other times. Today's feeling seems to be generally relaxed, but lifted emotionally. No real elation or agitation. Feel pretty level, but kind of upbeat(?).
I was just reading someone's expression of desperate self-hatred on Twitter, and I felt a lot of compassion for that person, because I am often the same way, but the notable thing was I felt like "wow, I currently don't feel this way, I don't currently hate myself, that's crazy"
1:30 I'm definitely feeling in a good mood.
4:40 The main effect of the medicine passed at 3PM, like clockwork four hours after taking the dose. Some of the effects are lingering, definitely feel boosted from today's good mood, even though I was at work and there's nothing to do. I find myself thinking about the end of the protocol in another couple of weeks, wondering if the effects will actually be lasting. It HAS been notable to feel a good mood and remember what that felt like. I used to have these sometimes! That alone might be the benefit of this medicine, just to snap me out of the self-reinforcing cyclic system for long enough to get a hold of myself. If that's it, then so be it.